Topic Lords

Topics don't stand a chance!

About the show

Topic Lords, the only place on the Internet where you can hear topics discussed!

Topic Lords on social media


  • Two-Grass Of The Face

    June 8th, 2020  |  59 mins 6 secs
    craig, strucci

    Lords this week: Shannon and Craig. We discuss desirable collaborator attributes, Tok Pisin, TempleOS, our first memories of a computer, faking your own non-existence, whether or not guilty pleasures exist, and daytime soaps somehow producing 250 episodes a year.

  • Tandem CPAP

    June 1st, 2020  |  1 hr 4 mins
    laura, rachel

    Lords this week: Rachel and Laura. We discuss wooden clothes hangers, anthropomorphic food, breathing soup in your sleep, sliding doors, magically acquiring useless skills, trying to interpret stories from hundreds of years ago, and Multi-Mario races.


    May 25th, 2020  |  54 mins 57 secs
    chris, jenni

    Lords this week: Jenni and Chris. We discuss anxiety and OCD as culturally adaptive behaviors, asking your employer to pay you in Nook Miles, Animal Crossing speed runs, printing toilet paper at home, protecting your floppy disks from magnets, apocalypse gardening, Amazon taking Murder She Wrote away from us, and winding up with more social obligations than you had before quarantine.

  • Century Of The Fruitbat

    May 18th, 2020  |  1 hr 11 mins
    chall, cornell

    Lords this week: Chris and Chris. We discuss Wikipedia descriptions of plots, the modern thank you note, writing a book about anything, Tom Nook, melodicas, Ursula Vernon, and skateboard culture.

  • Respect The Hustler, Not The Hustle

    May 11th, 2020  |  1 hr 3 mins
    gary, jenni

    Lords this week: Jenni and Gary. We discuss deciding to eat vegetables, Stephen King writing about boners, airplane respiration strategies, resourcefulness when you don't have the right tool, becoming aware of your mortality, the MT-80s MIDI boom box, doing things because you assume it's what other adults do, and being cursed to listen to only one song for eternity.

  • Stealing The Dead Skunk Back And Forth Forever

    May 4th, 2020  |  54 mins 1 sec
    april, ryan

    Lords this week: April and Ryan. We discuss the spigot question Jim keeps avoiding, reading in the new decade, what the Nakatomi corporation does, favorite zoo animals, cutting sandwiches diagonally, and having a private bidet but not a private toilet.

  • The Great Mongolian Potato Sack Yak Race

    April 27th, 2020  |  1 hr 3 mins
    avery, jesse

    Lords this week: Jesse and Avery. We discuss unsolved math problems, Mr. Potatohead's accomplishments, managing a tedious job, auto-antonyms, humans driving the evolution of cuter and cuter birds, and the "Please Call Stella" accent database.

  • The Double Equilibrium Point Of Water (For Fish)

    April 20th, 2020  |  1 hr 11 mins
    john, nelson

    Lords this week: John and Nelson. We discuss falling into the sky, lonely kaiju, this cool Arkanoid TAS, warming up to doing creative work, a sentient dog digging up a graveyard, and experiencing FOMO about things you don't want to do.

  • Which One Is Eggteen?

    April 13th, 2020  |  54 mins 17 secs
    chall, rusty

    Lords this week: Rusty and Chris. We discuss games as work, photos of people and cats that do not exist, doing a job machines are already better at, hexadecimal naming systems, folk games, recording rigs for podcasting, and jokes as a mnemonic device.

  • So Horrible And Yet So Tiny

    April 6th, 2020  |  1 hr 1 min
    jenni, tyriq

    Lords this week: Tyriq and Jenni. We discuss Hot Topic, toe picks, topical medication, Topic (the candy bar), Test Of Proficiency In Korean, and Topic Records.

  • Purpleface's Face Isn't Purple

    March 30th, 2020  |  1 hr 2 mins
    daniel, lauren

    Lords this week: Danny and Lauren. We discuss Tetris piece personalities, smell-memory associations, convincing my son sleep is a good thing, making art for money vs. for its own sake, a raven being like a writing desk, and the best things that happened to you this week.

  • Abstinent Train Polycule

    March 23rd, 2020  |  1 hr 15 mins
    ryan, xander

    Lords this week: Ryan and Alexander. Topics: creativity from a seed vs. from a box, using Hall of the Mountain King in comedy trailers, HDMI ports in your feet, yak shaving, the Abstinence Train, and multi-lingual animals.

  • Strip Laser Tag

    March 16th, 2020  |  1 hr 7 mins
    elena, josh

    Lords this week: Elena and Josh. We discuss procrastination as a coping mechanism, Newcomb's problem, celebrating Christmas by saying you have a machine gun, the fear that other podcasts might start discussing topics, McMaster-Carr, conlanging with toddlers, and preserving old software.

  • The Bowerbird's Apprentice

    March 9th, 2020  |  1 hr 5 mins
    mark, shirley

    Lords this week: Mark and Shirley. We discuss the Third Culture Kid experience, camgirl life, why most animals don't need to walk, what bones we've broken, and hypnagogic hallucination.

  • A Pickled Egg Christmas

    March 2nd, 2020  |  1 hr 1 min
    jeff, joe

    Lords this week: Jeff and Joe. We discuss finding the time to be a geek, the difficulty of ordering pickled eggs, raising kids, art you made as a kid, etymology, and only getting 80% good at things.

  • Yelling Sweater

    February 24th, 2020  |  1 hr 20 secs
    james, jay

    Lords this week: Jay and James. We discuss old references making jokes inaccessible, how four year olds perceive legos, realizing stylish people can also be skilled, cheap musical instruments, timberwolf jaws, losing touch with popular aesthetics, and growing a Santa beard in spite of your CPAP machine.