Topic Lords

Topics don't stand a chance!

About the show

Topic Lords, the only place on the Internet where you can hear topics discussed!

Topic Lords on social media


  • Ask The Propagated Cactus

    December 23rd, 2019  |  1 hr 2 mins
    alex, shannon

    Lords this week: Alex and Shannon. We discuss growing new people from cuttings, seeing images in your head, fruit cocktail and manufactured scarcity, the most famous meal of the day, the best smoothie ingredients, participating in religious ceremonies when you have no idea what you're doing, and shower curtain ideas.

  • I Hate This Gilded Boat

    December 16th, 2019  |  1 hr 6 mins
    gary, ryan

    Lords this week: Ryan Ike and Gary Butterfield. We discuss deciding when to quit a show you don't like, what if food screamed when you ate it, fetishizing creative tools, auteur-power fantasies, being useful post-apocalypse, and running in non-athletic settings.

  • I Love A Good Mind Poop

    December 9th, 2019  |  1 hr 6 mins
    april, ryan

    Lords this week: April Stormdancer and Ryan Ike. We discuss inventing secular rituals for children, self-improvement via D&D, the most fun key to jam in, the ramifications of outlawing moss, German robot-hell "Monster Kabinett," and "Dance Monkey," by The Tones and I.


    December 2nd, 2019  |  1 hr 7 mins
    chris, jenni

    Lords this week: Jenni and Chris. Topics discussed: other cultures' produce, the secret origin of the warp pipe, Jim's kid, Unreal Engine 0 a.k.a. ZZT, how creative work looks exactly like being a layabout, revenge food, and the "only" comma.

  • Very Hype About This Apple

    November 25th, 2019  |  1 hr 3 mins
    jp, styger

    Lords: JP and Styger. We discuss using the word "lord" as a joke, emergency preparedness, Cosmic Crisp: the apple with a launch date, whether horses exist, being an amateur naturalist from another part of the country, and what makes hotels scary.

  • Don't Freak Out, But I'm Arresting You

    November 18th, 2019  |  1 hr 21 mins
    avery, elena

    Lords this episode: Elena and Avery. We discuss pigeon throat milk, lexicalized emoji, changing your mind about a mattress, the ethical codes of singing cowboys, and dimensions in candy space.

  • The Screaming Man Simulator

    November 11th, 2019  |  51 mins 15 secs
    james, jay

    Lords this episode: Jay Tholen and James Hofmann. We discuss storytelling class, music that's so boring it's interesting, library and production music, designing pinball tables to be cheap to manufacture, and cosplaying Darth Vader in bed.

  • Conjure A False Gobot

    November 4th, 2019  |  1 hr 2 mins
    john, jp

    Lords this week: John Mystery and JP LeBreton. We discuss horses climbing stairs, getting enough sleep, shitpost movie advertising, doctoring the historical record, and ending all reality from within a dream.

  • The Shoulderblade Is A Girl

    October 28th, 2019  |  59 mins 18 secs
    jay, jenni

    Lords this week: Jenni Poloda and Jay Tholen. We discuss the regretting the ukulele, stripper karaoke, spaghetti eating hacks, the problem with German donuts, drying a wet phone, and fine-tuning spicy food.