Topic Lords

Topics don't stand a chance!

About the show

Topic Lords, the only place on the Internet where you can hear topics discussed!

Topic Lords on social media


  • The Cow Tools Experience

    February 22nd, 2021  |  57 mins 21 secs
    james, jesse

    Lords: James and Jesse. We discuss where Nazi war criminals live, What's Michael?, the other cartoon fat cat, the patent for Tapper, consuming twice your body weight in a day, realizing pop cans are 355 mL because that's 12 US fluid ounces, and macaroni and cheese around the world.

  • Wave-Cat Duality

    February 15th, 2021  |  1 hr 5 mins
    hallie, jenni

    Lords this week: Hallie and Jenni. We discuss tarot readings using meme templates, jellicle cats and the heaviside layer, Disney characters attending your funeral, lemonade candy, moose licking your car, jokes as motivation to learn, and unkomario and kintamario.

  • Unprotected Left In A Hard Vacuum

    February 8th, 2021  |  1 hr 4 mins
    derek, mara

    Lords: Mara and Derek. We discuss sparing children from our own nostalgia, working libraries of famous people getting acquired by institutions, flouting the toilet mimics, toddler sense of humor, and toddlers who are incredible at video games.

  • Immersion Blended Lasagna

    February 1st, 2021  |  1 hr 8 mins
    nathan, tim

    Lords: Nathan and Tim. We discuss easy modes, art that depresses or scares us, solving unsolvable problems in multiplayer, youtube videos all having the same sound effects, playing games with your kids, sports that would be more interesting in low gravity, and vegan commune disaster stories.

  • There's No One Way To Suck Glass

    January 25th, 2021  |  58 mins 59 secs
    kev, nelson

    Lords: Xalavier Nelson, Jr. and Kev. Topics: professional wrestling, stealing the declaration of independence to save Nicolas Cage's life, Atari 2600 Adventure's effectiveness as a port of Crowther and Woods Adventure, that time everyone in America didn't win a free taco, non-violent communication, when something is so big that you're no longer impressed, and sucking a glass onto your face.

  • Love In The Time Of Beavis And Butthead

    January 18th, 2021  |  1 hr 3 mins

    Lords: April and John. Topics: woodworking, mentors and mentorship in general, Advent calendar dice, RAX and Mr. Delicious, and having to poop when entering a bookstore.

  • Going Out For Tacos In Germany

    January 11th, 2021  |  1 hr 7 mins
    jay, john

    Lords: John and Jay. Topics: caring more about news about a thing than the thing itself, saying funny lines from movies, the Terminator 2 soundtrack and the Fairlight CMI 3, the diminishing returns of each console generation, and delicious things we've made recently.

  • How To Travel With A Dishwasher Salmon

    January 4th, 2021  |  1 hr 5 mins
    cornell, mitch

    Lords: Mitch and Chris. Topics: Hades, turning "literally" pedantry back on itself, gasoline toast, mismatched timelines, how The Game (mind game) is not very well designed, and the worst letters of the alphabet.

  • A Real Egg Hobbyist

    December 28th, 2020  |  1 hr 5 mins
    mark, shirley

    Lords: Mark and Shirley. We discuss the trend of positive media, our favorite magic paradigm, why there isn't more Space Wizard fiction, transitioning from being able to cook a dish to being able to cook a meal, yearbooks, and parenting advice.

  • NHS Surveillance Elves

    December 21st, 2020  |  1 hr 5 mins
    alex, shannon

    Lords: Alex and Shannon. We discuss: Youtube channels we like, using ice witch powers for good, why fish have up and down, video games with "lord" in the name, lying to kids about Santa, and building things in the snow.

  • Pachinko Lava Lamp

    December 14th, 2020  |  1 hr 5 mins
    chall, james

    Lords this week: Chris and James. We discuss too-small microwaves, fantasy consoles, recreating pinball in software, the trade-off between customer satisfaction and worker safety, recommending music when you never listen to music recommendations yourself, and relearning how to run.


    December 7th, 2020  |  1 hr 11 mins
    amanda, xander

    Lords this week: Amanda and Xander. We discuss the care and feeding of harpsichords, shareware floppies in grocery stores, the outlandish economic world of Neopets, and running a Beanie Baby empire on 30 minutes of screen time/day.

  • Sparkles On Top Of The Brain

    November 30th, 2020  |  1 hr 13 mins
    elena, tyriq

    Lords this week: Elena and Tyriq. We discuss becoming the old person you want to be, reborrowings, peak dad experience, textual dialects, and the tone deafness test.

  • A Rationale For Mountains

    November 23rd, 2020  |  1 hr 12 mins
    aaron, jonah

    Lords: Aaron and Jonah. We discuss graffitti-based arguments, unphysical physically-motivated procedural content generation, the inventor of "None Pizza With Left Beef" and "Young Sheldon," the hobo code, and designing a game around semantic prime theory.

  • Ethical Snorlax Pasture

    November 16th, 2020  |  1 hr 13 mins
    jp, laura

    Lords this week: Laura and JP. We discusss the least horny sport, the best task-tracking software, driving around with a photo of yourself on your vehicle, gaskets, Pokemon-proofing your house, and sending a film back to 1960.

  • Burger Crimes

    November 9th, 2020  |  1 hr 6 mins
    april, freddie

    Lords: April and Freddie. We discuss burger opinions, replaying Breath of the Wild, changing your chronotype via taking care of a small child, and Vtubers.