Topic Lords

Topics don't stand a chance!

About the show

Topic Lords, the only place on the Internet where you can hear topics discussed!

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  • 81. The Pianist-Oboist War

    May 10th, 2021  |  50 mins 1 sec
    amanda, xander

    Lords: Alexander and Amanda. We discuss sci-fi stories that are just reskins of stuff that already happens, ancient bitcoin, that time Wienerschnitzel actually served schnitzel, first encountering a song through parody, and bad habits that adventure games teach you.

  • 80. Xenogears Disc 3 For Smash

    May 3rd, 2021  |  1 hr 4 mins
    jp, styger

    Lords: Styger and JP. We discuss food as fan fiction, the most unexpected CD to be launched from the face of the Cenobite from Hellraiser 3 that launches CDs out of his face, mandolin slicers, Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr., the oldest food you've eaten, why pigeons love nacho cheese, and a list of every move in every Mario game.

  • 79. Loose Meat Krispie Treats

    April 26th, 2021  |  1 hr 16 mins
    diener, john

    Lords: John and Alex. We discuss Blaseball: the Musical, keeping the spirit of invention alive, mixing things into ground turkey, As Slow As Possible, existing outside the school system, and the experience of getting glasses.

  • 78. Uvula Hadouken

    April 19th, 2021  |  1 hr 3 mins
    april, brendon, laura

    Lords: Laura and Brendon and special guest April. Topics: Home Depot Battle Royale, improving teeth, workshopping a joke about a cat's name, Chickens turn into crocodiles, how to fix queueing in Westworld, and your new pandemic skills.

  • 77. A Vocal Quirk Of Your Mind (For Other People)

    April 12th, 2021  |  1 hr 8 mins
    chall, tyriq

    Lords: Tyriq, Chris. We discuss revisiting Game Maker, our anime/JRPG vocal quirks, electric showers, the music video for "Someday" by Weval, and UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage Lists.

  • 76. The Validity Of Converting Songs To Buildings

    April 5th, 2021  |  1 hr 12 mins
    aaron, maxx

    Lords: Maxx and Aaron. We discuss emotionally correct magic logic, our favorite captchas, AI-remastered Rick Astley, Kegel-based video games, and responsible creativity.

  • 75. Just Yawn It Out, Brah

    March 29th, 2021  |  1 hr 9 mins
    alicia, ryan

    Lords: Ryan and Alicia. We discuss throw pillows, why yawning is considered a sign of boredom, art packs/music disks, trying to play every CRPG in chronological order, and whether listening to an audio book is "reading."

  • 74. The Beef Bar

    March 22nd, 2021  |  1 hr 2 mins
    avery, stevie

    Lords: Avery and Stevie. We discuss bad public art, the purpose of t-rex arms, Doom 1.0's proto-VR mode, and philosophical questions and concepts you independently discovered as a child regardless of how well-equipped you may or may not have been to explore them in depth.

  • 73. 100 Free Pulls For Your Left Kidney

    March 15th, 2021  |  1 hr 11 mins
    max, ryan

    Lords: Max and Ryan. We discuss the fascination with miniature things, things people assume about you, how to fix speed runs, games you love but wish you didn't, motion smoothing, why hippos hate humans, and a restaurant where all the glasses are the same size but if you order a large it gets poured out of a 55 gallon drum and if you order a small it gets filled with an eye dropper.

  • 72. Gaseous Iron And The Hot Jupiters

    March 8th, 2021  |  52 mins 53 secs
    ben, michelle

    Lords: Ben and Michelle. We discuss the Dora the Explorer movie, landing a rover on mars, scratch-off Donkey Kong, coffee maker recipes, and exoplanets.

  • 71. There's No Chicken Nine Because Chicken Six Seven Ate Nine

    March 1st, 2021  |  1 hr 7 mins
    elena, quil

    Lords: Elena and Quil. We discuss being compelled to sing along, being the only person at a concert, a spirograph for your butt, legacy board games, weird sleeping apparatodes, and the logistics of delivering live frogs.

  • 70. The Cow Tools Experience

    February 22nd, 2021  |  57 mins 21 secs
    james, jesse

    Lords: James and Jesse. We discuss where Nazi war criminals live, What's Michael?, the other cartoon fat cat, the patent for Tapper, consuming twice your body weight in a day, realizing pop cans are 355 mL because that's 12 US fluid ounces, and macaroni and cheese around the world.

  • 69. Wave-Cat Duality

    February 15th, 2021  |  1 hr 5 mins
    hallie, jenni

    Lords this week: Hallie and Jenni. We discuss tarot readings using meme templates, jellicle cats and the heaviside layer, Disney characters attending your funeral, lemonade candy, moose licking your car, jokes as motivation to learn, and unkomario and kintamario.

  • 68. Unprotected Left In A Hard Vacuum

    February 8th, 2021  |  1 hr 4 mins
    derek, mara

    Lords: Mara and Derek. We discuss sparing children from our own nostalgia, working libraries of famous people getting acquired by institutions, flouting the toilet mimics, toddler sense of humor, and toddlers who are incredible at video games.

  • 67. Immersion Blended Lasagna

    February 1st, 2021  |  1 hr 8 mins
    nathan, tim

    Lords: Nathan and Tim. We discuss easy modes, art that depresses or scares us, solving unsolvable problems in multiplayer, youtube videos all having the same sound effects, playing games with your kids, sports that would be more interesting in low gravity, and vegan commune disaster stories.

  • 66. There's No One Way To Suck Glass

    January 25th, 2021  |  58 mins 59 secs
    kev, nelson

    Lords: Xalavier Nelson, Jr. and Kev. Topics: professional wrestling, stealing the declaration of independence to save Nicolas Cage's life, Atari 2600 Adventure's effectiveness as a port of Crowther and Woods Adventure, that time everyone in America didn't win a free taco, non-violent communication, when something is so big that you're no longer impressed, and sucking a glass onto your face.