297. Grimace Exploded, Covering 70,000 People
June 30th, 2025
1 hr 3 secs
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About this Episode
Lords:
- Erica
- Judy
Topics:
- The Pantone college experience
- Why is everyone with superpowers a crime fighter or a criminal
- Sell me on metal utensils
- Grand Avenue, by Ron Koertge
- Toothpaste is traditionally spicy
Microtopics:
- Just Judy.
- Telling your friends you love them.
- Taking a break from the Internet and staring at the ceiling.
- Realizing you need to take a break and then trying to figure out what you need to take a break from.
- Doing absolutely nothing for ten minutes.
- People who enjoy meditation explaining that you just need to meditate harder.
- Taking a depressing game and remaking it, reframing it as relaxing.
- Tetromino Chill.
- Asking "do I have the flu?" in French.
- Clicking on a wav file of Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny and thinking "computer music is cool"
- Your college's particular shade of purple.
- The proliferation of this exact shade of purple now that Pantone has made it possible to exactly reproduce a color.
- The reason why can't we tell who's buff and sexy any more.
- Going to college to get sick of a particular color.
- Whether any place is as intensely branded as a college campus.
- What the founding fathers would think of this college campus' branding.
- James Madison inventing the signature duplicator.
- James Madison insisting that his entire family sleep sitting up.
- Colors that you can't use until you really mean it.
- Colors that are not allowed in the bathroom.
- Pantone inventing a way to pee any known color.
- Boom Box Guy.
- The professor with the glasses with two different color lenses who is constantly complaining about JMU Purple.
- Having jaws strong enough to eat bones and eating way more bones than you used to.
- Topics that have been in the bucket since the inception of the bucket.
- Unlimited energy. (Not limited energy.)
- Why isn't Superman using his x-ray vision to watch TV better than anyone?
- Lois Lane wearing superman's shirt.
- Using your x-ray vision to make sure ant colonies aren't siphoning money out of bank vaults.
- Advising strangers on the street that they have an untreated medical condition and they're like "go away creep"
- The spoon doing a catapult move because the handle is too heavy, and flinging chili everywhere.
- Plastic utensils for adults.
- Hitting the age when doctors start saying things like "let's see if we can get a couple more good years out of you"
- Whether the fork ever touches your tongue.
- Ceramic spoons.
- Melamine, the plastic material manufactured on Alf's home planet.
- Handsome Korean wooden spoons.
- Just slurping down a whole bowl of guacamole.
- Everyday Carry Forks.
- Metal utensils: so good, you carry them around.
- Trying to eat a leaf of lettuce with an extremely heavy fork.
- Eating a meal with a pickaxe and a pronged shovel.
- Turning the corner by Señor Fish.
- Different ways to kil for somebody.
- A punch-line that was not set up in the descriptive part of the poem.
- A poem that is a subset of another poem.
- Where is the wacky misunderstanding that I was promised?
- A bumper sticker reading "you just got passed by a bad driver (AI)"
- Slapping the "artificial intelligence" label on everything you write so people blame AI.
- Cinnamon toothpaste and ginger toothpaste.
- Conventionally spicy toothpaste.
- Toothpaste that doesn't taste like anything. (You know, for cats!)
- Spicy tuna toothpaste and black pepper toothpaste.
- Rinsing your mouth with lemon cleanser so your mouth can feel lemon fresh.
- Pure Piperin.
- Tubes: they're for squeezing.
- Phosphoric acid toothpaste.