5. Very Hype About This Apple

Lords:

• JP recommends Esperpento. http://esperpentotapasrestaurant.com/
• Styger recommends Esperpento and Yamo. https://www.theinfatuation.com/san-francisco/reviews/yamo

Topics:

• 1:52 A brief history of JP using "Lords" as a comedy word, 2008-present, and why British people will probably never "get" this quasijoke.
• 9:00 Emergency preparedness!
  • The SFFD neighborhood emergency response team: https://sf-fire.org/neighborhood-emergency-response-team-nert
• 16:55 The apple with a launch date. https://story.californiasunday.com/cosmic-crisp-apple-launch
• 23:15 Larry asks: "Are there horses"
  • Miniature horses as service animals: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=miniature+therapy+horse&ia=images&iax=images
• 28:39 Being an amateur naturalist from another part of the country.
  • Sneakers: navigating San Francisco by sound. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuIheGaiFLM
  • "Watch Dogs 2: Touring San Francisco's Famous Landmarks"
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F9_l19j4XY
• 43:15 What makes some hotels scarier than others?
  • "It should be illegal for horror movies to advertise." https://twitter.com/okexactly/status/1185756975612727297?s=20
  • "If you make that film as a bleak drama, then we’re making it for like, an audience of three. So what might be a deterrent to an audience in one genre suddenly becomes a virtue in another, and it just felt like a no-brainer to channel that through a horror-movie filter." https://www.vulture.com/2018/06/hereditarys-ari-aster-breaks-down-his-upsetting-film.html
  • Scratch and sniff feelie in Leather Goddesses of Phobos. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_Goddesses_of_Phobos

Microtopics:

• Hypothesizing about how much business your internet review gets a small business.
• A restaurant in San Francisco somehow not going out of business.
• Reassuring meme carriers that they are still good people.
• Majestic yet ridiculous muscledudes.
• Dreaming a GDC talk.
• Taking the "lord" title seriously because you are probably ruled by literal lords.
• Our sister podcast across the pond, Topic Senators.
• Distinguishing lords from non-lords by their shoulder armor.
• Preppers going from being a joke to an aspiration.
• Realizing that literally none of your skills would help you in the apocalypse.
• Drinking pee through a Life Straw and it still tasting like pee.
• California-branded disasters.
• Naming your produce via an Internet poll.
• Produce having a launch date.
• Lining up at Safeway for produce's midnight launch.
• Eating berries exclusive to your region.
• Believing horses still exist because you've seen them once.
• Being almost sure horses aren't a hoax.
• Inserting horses into the historical record.
• Duckbilled platypi being obviously bullshit.
• Every platypus having been secretly manufactured by the Tyrell Corporation.
• LA and San Francisco merging because Philip K Dick didn't predict rising construction costs.
• Finding out that miniature horses can be service animals.
• Service ponies in the soup aisle.
• Someone defacing an explanatory sign to make people believe that horses can be service animals.
• Miniature ponies being grandfathered in.
• Everyone choosing the mockingbird as their state bird.
• Being annoyed that trees are the wrong trees.
• Being young enough for them to just be trees I guess.
• The sky being the wrong sky.
• Seeing freeway exit signs for Jupiter.
• The Golden Gate Bridge getting wrecked.
• A story being grounded in geography.
• Stepping out of the movie theater into the neighborhood the movie you saw was set in and feeling like you're still in the movie.
• Everyone's effective hometown being San Francisco because that's where every movie is set.
• Getting experience points for taking selfies.
• The Coit Tower secretly being a giant hologram full of horses.
• The arbitrariness of what makes a hotel scary.
• The horror of a hotel room possibly having bedbugs.
• Not being scared by a movie because you chose to watch it.
• The cute robot doing all the murders.
• The TV edit of Robocop somehow being even more traumatic.
• Sneaking an art house movie into your horror movie.
• No longer being affected by supernatural horror but being terrified of movies with car accidents.
• The implicit social contract that horror movies shouldn't address the horror of real life.
• The ethics of advertising horror movies.
• The ad that places a horrible idea in your mind and promises closure/the antidote if you pay for the full movie.
• Buying a tub of baked beans at the concession stand and feeling good for five minutes.
• Refilling the essential oil cartridge for gunfire.
• Not wanting to smell Bioshock, or most video games really.