4. Don't Freak Out, But I'm Arresting You

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Lords:

• Elena is reading Cordyceps by Benedict_SC. https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178036/chapters/14154868
• Avery's solo album is on Bandcamp. https://averyburke.bandcamp.com/releases

Topics:

• 2:58 Male pigeons feed their young with "crop milk" produced in glands in their throat. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crop_milk
  • Fennec Foxes. https://duckduckgo.com/?q=fennec&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images
  • "Squid will survive and may even flourish under even the worst-case ocean acidification scenarios." https://news-oceanacidification-icc.org/2019/06/14/squid-could-thrive-under-climate-change/
  • The Honeyguide will show you the honey. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeyguide
  • Do birds sweat? https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061208141845AAtuY9L
  • "Several months before his death, Lee had an operation to remove the sweat glands from his armpits." And this may have lead to his death from heat stroke. https://www.history.com/news/bruce-lee-death-mystery-solved-sweat-glands
• 18:07 Elena's friends use lexicalized emoji to communicate.
  • Alice and Kev, homeless Sims. https://aliceandkev.wordpress.com/
  • Happy Birthday, Wanda June. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Birthday,_Wanda_June
• 35:08 The story of the guy who wanted and then didn't want a mattress.
  • Vintage Pump Organs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiqnINpIz74
• 44:46 Singing cowboys and their ethical codes, which demanded their young fans keep clean and invest in savings accounts. http://www.cowboyway.com/GeneAutry.htm
  • Alice's Restaurant Massacree: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPx2t7xoF1k
• 55:40 Dimensions in candy space: chocolate, fruit, ...?
  • All figs contain a dissolved wasp. https://gardencollage.com/inspire/wild-earth/true-dead-wasps-inside-figs/
  • "An emerald cockroach wasp (Ampulex compressa) can control the minds of roaches with a sting of its venom." https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2018/02/parasitic-wasps-parkinsons-future-research-spd/
  • The neotenized Domesticated Red Fox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesticated_red_fox
  • Humans may have domesticated themselves: https://www.sciencenews.org/article/how-humans-maybe-domesticated-themselves

Microtopics:

• Infohazards.
• Living in a house with instruments on the wall because you're a musician, not because you're a massive hipster.
• Scientists who would describe cottage cheese as creamy.
• Pigeon milk cappuccinos.
• Animals that thrive in the city biome.
• Anaerobic squid thriving in the oceans we ruined.
• Honey-loving birds ditching their lame badger companions for fire-making humans.
• Flame-throwing badgers demanding bird exes take them back.
• Birds sweating out of their throats.
• East Asian people have different earwax from white people.
• Going deaf every few months due to earwax buildup.
• Monetizing your overactive sebaceous glands.
• Transplanting superior Asian sebaceous glands into your shitty white person's body.
• What do mammals have that birds haven't taken from us?
• The kiwi bird has ostrich-sized eggs.
• Realizing that the kiwi isn't the size of a kiwi.
• Thanking people by applying a turkey to them.
• Missing the rest of the conversation because you were trying to find the perfect emoji.
• Needing more than one train emoji.
• Starving because your food options are equidistant.
• Building the perfect Sims family so you can wreck their lives.
• Walking into a random house and the occupants being fine with it.
• Debuting moon landing footage you found in the bathroom.
• Opening up a cabinet at NASA and moon rocks spilling out.
• Your bosses at NASA not really caring when you destroy old SETI documents.
• Cats climbing discarded mattresses to hunt.
• Sense of thirst being hereditary.
• Kidney stones as a delayed sign of thirst.
• Finally getting to the part where the guy wants a mattress.
• Being finished loving the mattress.
• The Sunken Mattress Fallacy.
• Discovering the organ you just destroyed was from the 19th century.
• Playing music by touching the bones of a dead creature.
• Being the de facto authority because everyone else knows even less.
• Putting money into Gene Autrey's savings account.
• Building good citizens through singing cowboys.
• Issuing an arrest warrant for secret reasons.
• Appreciating the 19th-century sheriff's weird forehead while waiting to be arrested.
• Sitting there on the Group W bench.
• Teacher rewarding you with the cheapest possible candy.
• Mistaking your deodorant for tamarind candy.
• Being weird in the way that figs are weird.
• Fertilizing figs with your dissolved corpse.
• Sharing your fig with a friend so only one of you eats a dissolved wasp.
• Not believing new information because it's implausible that you didn't already know it.
• Wasps parasiting other wasps.
• Figs no longer being considered vegan.
• Closing your tiger restaurant because tigers are infeasible to farm.
• Accidentally inventing puppies when you just wanted your fox farm to be safer.
• Collecting a breeding population of raccoons.
• Rats escaping their cage so they can cuddle you.
• Outliving your pet parrot.
• Being an ageless rat guardian.
• Orcas rubbing themselves on flat rocks and nobody knows why.
• Orcas rubbing themselves on flat rocks because they're itchy.
• An octopus friend to untangle wires for you.
• Uplifting the octopus race merely by lengthening their lifespan.
• Uplifted octopodes inventing Twitter and becoming miserable.
• Thinking your chimp knows ASL because it's mirroring your actions.
• Worshiping Cthulhu in a secular humanist kind of way.
• Making jokes no-one will get instead of doing proper marketing.