171. Reasons To Not Throw Your Phone In The Ocean

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

• CisHetKayFaber
• Kev

Topics:

• Food from dreams and nightmares
  • https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/adeonibada/man-dream-kings-hand-snack
• Han Unification happened in Unicode and every time they add more emojis to the Unicode spec it literally hurts
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Han_unification
• The Super Mega Crossword
  • https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/18/crosswords/super-mega-2022-clues.html
• Down by the Bay by Raffi
  • https://www.vulture.com/2015/12/finding-raffi-c-v-r.html
• Video game franchises known for secrets
• Five-tined forks
  • [NMS] https://www.google.com/search?q=five-tined+forks&tbm=isch
• Horrible exceptions to rule34
  • After recording, CisHetKayFaber managed to find their holy grail videos depicting the "exception." Jim's example is much better, but Kev was also correct in having faith in human ingenuity.

Microtopics:

• First time long time.
• A very light hobby that is kind of shallow.
• Getting really into Rubik's Cube because you already love flash cards.
• Being reminded of something right before you were about to forget it.
• How best to memorize pizza coding and microphone specs.
• Ignoring the room and being annoyed when people talk to you.
• Work life balance being too tilted toward life
• The King's Hand.
• Orange Creamsicle Mashed Potatoes.
• M&M fingernails.
• A tweet and what happened with it.
• Biting something with the wrong texture and having to stare at a wall for ten minutes.
• UTF-8 character encoding.
• Adding support for Asian languages to Unicode without consulting any native speakers for advice.
• The international new global meme language of the internet.
• PuzzleMania.
• All the downsides of doing a crossword on paper.
• Words that just happen a lot when you're constructing a crossword puzzle.
• The Elden Ring of crossword puzzles.
• Doing the crossword puzzle on paper so that when you're done you can say "looks right to me" and there's no app to tell you you're wrong.
• Reading crossword puzzle clues to your wife as she falls asleep.
• A time traveler from the future who invented time travel to bring us excellent children's songs.
• A national treasure (Canada)
• A fly wearing a tie, a bear combing its hair, a llama eating pajamas, &c.
• A song intended to be performed improvisationally.
• Extending the finger family song by adding more fingers.
• Messing the cadence up with your fake mother voice.
• Where the watermelons roam.
• A mom saying nonsense that really makes you think.
• Avoiding your mom because she keeps saying weird shit about a goose kissing a moose.
• Unlocking a branch of a storyline by fulfilling a set of conditions.
• Subverting overused fantasy tropes.
• Finding a cool castle by going down a secret cliffside stairway into a hidden cave.
• Systems that point you everywhere on the map.
• Secrets of all sorts of scopes.
• The Doom thing where they point out that you didn't find all the secrets.
• Frog Fractions containing Rule 34 of itself.
• Reacting to five-tined fork.
• The fork optimization function that decided that four is the right number of tines.
• Unknowing a conversation.
• A Victorian flex of a fork.
• When die-casting was invented.
• A shovel with teeth.
• Seven-tined sporks.
• The Pornography Lord.
• Human pairings and human activities that you would expect there to be pornography of.
• Linda Hunt smugly declaring "ass to ass"
• AI pornographers buying sex dice on eBay.
• Weird combinations of words you can plug into a search engine.
• People don't want everything; people only want some things.
• The Frog Fractions pornography gap.