138. From Infracheddar To Ultrableu


June 13th, 2022

1 hr 44 secs

Your Hosts

About this Episode

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!




  • Unfindable Lords.
  • The Constant: a History of Getting Things Wrong.
  • Continuous vs. discontinuous weighted blankets.
  • People asking you about your life so you have to give them all the necessary context on your life so they'll understand.
  • A masquerade ball where you receive a quest to find someone wearing a dog mask and talk to them about topology.
  • The smallest of talk.
  • A continuous unplanned unstructured talking with each other that you expect to just happen by itself.
  • Bringing a cheeseboard to a party so you can go sort it whenever the conversation gets awkward
  • Sorting the cheeseboard from sharp to mild and then sorting the cheese by color but nobody at the party is allowed to actually eat any.
  • From Infracheddar to Ultrableu.
  • A sorting algorithm gaining intelligence and trying to understand itself.
  • Teaching your friends sign language so they'll be quieter at parties.
  • The weirdness of reading aloud.
  • Writing while talking.
  • A species of alien that can follow two conversations at once.
  • Balancing the complexity of your word choices so your sentence flows nicely.
  • Writing the most important word of each sentence first and then going back and filling in the rest of the sentence.
  • Worrying about commas later.
  • Taking so long to implement the core of your idea that you've forgotten the details.
  • How to bake brownies that are all edge pieces.
  • How to bake brownies that's all center pieces.
  • Sous vide brownies.
  • People who only like the center of the falafel.
  • The perfect solution for the person who prefers the grossest part of the brownie.
  • Opening a portal to the lasagna dimension and scooping some out and feeling safe because there's no e. coli in the lasagna dimension, just lasagna.
  • Tectonic plates in the lasagna dimension.
  • Subduction lasagna.
  • The asteroid equivalent of brownie soup.
  • Forming trade alliances with the people who live in the air pockets of the lasagna dimension.
  • Lasagna creationists.
  • The Earth is a rock lasagna.
  • Whether lasagna or baked ziti is more likely to be naturally occurring.
  • Bepst and besht.
  • A long-standing problem in navigation.
  • Figuring out how to determine longitude in the Age of Navigation.
  • Getting kicked out of Cambridge because you don't accept the Trinity.
  • Firing a cannon at noon so everyone knows what time it is.
  • Such explosive ships, in such known locations.
  • A new method for discovering longitude both at sea and land, humbly proposed for the consideration of the public.
  • The Jewish Space Lasers of the 1700s.
  • The sense in which GPS is extremely loud.
  • Putting a log on the fire and salamanders come out.
  • The riddle where to understand the answer you have to know that bees come from lion carcasses.
  • How earth used to have enough energy to spawn humans out of clay but now it only has enough juice left to make bugs and snails.
  • A recipe for scorpions.
  • The Tragedy of the Sunday Roast.
  • The St. Tuppensday Brouhaha.
  • Million Shilling Idea: serving Sunday Roast all week.
  • Victorian orphans mining for Bitcoin (or "bittums") out on the Playa.
  • Eating a Yorkshire pudding at a Lagrange point and sopping up gravy from the gravy dimension.
  • Via Gravia.
  • Nega-scurvy, where you eat too much fruit and grow extra teeth.
  • The Yes Ship of Theseus.
  • That time the Zombies broke up and then had a hit record and then fake Zombies started touring the US until someone from the real band noticed.
  • The Caramelldansen saga.
Support Topic Lords