201. Don't Be Distressed, It's Just Australia

Lords:

• Alex
• Shannon

Topics:

• Tree law
  • https://www.tumblr.com/whistletown/721716818422677504
  • https://www.tumblr.com/whistletown/723346723280453632
• Tax Heaven 3000
• When I was a kid I read about a magic trick where if you touch your index fingers together and cross your eyes, a disembodied third finger appears between them.This is the kind of thing we had for entertainment in the 80s.
  • https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/156405/outbreaks
• Best food byproducts

Microtopics:

• Exhausting topics before the show even starts.
• Should we give bee educators guns?
• Lords with lord awards.
• Megalords lording over huge swaths of topics.
• Getting your partner a very smooth engagement ring so it hurts less when they punch you in the face.
• Trimming a tree in the middle of summer.
• Tree law consequences.
• The Hitman games, you know, with the bald guy
• Whether Hit People are hired to kill likable or dislikable people.
• Games with missions designed to make you feel bad about what you're doing but also to give you no choice but to do it.
• Injured while sl searching for bodies in Lake Mead? Demand compensation!
• A cute anime girl who really wants to help you prepare your taxes.
• MSCHF.
• Calling the Key 4 All hotline for real time data on the car's location and speed.
• Playing Geoguessr to determine where the car is.
• Reverse engineering the smell of WD-40.
• Using the car for purposes of a car.
• The legal standing of Public Universal Car.
• Don't rotate the donut, you gave to rotate the pie
• Legal MSCHF.
• Taking the SATs for money.
• Writing a list of demands in a child's scrawl and sending it to your senator.
• Seeing the Vienna sausage with knuckles.
• Getting a book of Magic Eyes in the 90s and staring at it until you see the dolphin and having a splitting headache for the next day and a half.
• A jump scare in Magic Eye form.
• Why we all need glasses.
• Listening to your dad listening to a podcast.
• Disappearing your own nose.
• The purpose of feeling boredom.
• The impossibility of being bored when libraries exist.
• Paleolithic man enjoying memes.
• Why campfire smoke always blows into your eyes.
• Building a prehistoric highway system and using one of those printers that prints on the road so paleolithic man can enjoy dank memes.
• What kids get in their stockings today now that iTunes gift cards are obsolete.
• Why keep any DVDs?
• A common metaphor for a problem that can be overcome by relaxing.
• The most racist shrimp.
• It's not a firearm, it's just an explosive knife.
• Begging your mom to buy you the Krazy Krabs.
• Putting on a brine shrimp show for your family members.
• A spring loaded rigid whip.
• Kitchen Somebody.
• Searching for comfort and the eels come.
• The neon 24 hour fried chicken sign gleaming behind the pines.
• Finding god in a cluster of eels beneath your palms.
• Have you given god a pizza?
• A different eel pizza meme.
• All the Breaking Bad fans coming to your neighborhood and throwing pizza on top of the Pizza Eels for a photo opportunity and the eels are getting extremely fat.
• Feeding the sharks by stuffing a dive suit full of chum.
• A cooking process that creates a byproduct that you can use to cook something else.
• Calling bean juice "aqua fava" and styling.
• Browning the whey to create a delicious paste loaf.
• The two-in-one, in which they put two taquitos into a burrito.
• Glorpamole.