2. Conjure A False Gobot
November 4th, 2019
1 hr 2 mins 30 secs
Your Hosts
Tags
About this Episode
Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!
Lords:
- John is excited to be a Topic Lord
- JP does stuff at http://vectorpoem.com/
Topics:
- 1:36 Horses will climb stairs but can't get back down again.
- 12:13 Do you get enough sleep? If so, how?
- 21:36 The ad for a movie sequel that was the entirety of the previous movie in the series.
- The Wendy's tabletop RPG: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2019/10/dd-licious-wendys-now-has-a-tabletop-rpg-and-the-villain-is-frozen-beef/
- Too Many Cooks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrGrOK8oZG8
- Bandersnatch, the semi-interactive Black Mirror thing on Netflix: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Mirror%3A_Bandersnatch
- Adaptation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adaptation_(film)
- The weird trailer for Identity that preceded Adaptation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8fjyxM7DgU
- 35:34 How much work would it take to insert a fictional person into the historical record?
- Fall; or, Dodge in Hell - A novel by Neal Stephenson about near-future technological advancements like uploading your consciousness to the cloud and curating your online existence: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fall;_or,_Dodge_in_Hell
- 49:18 John's recurring dream about seeing the wrong image and ending all levels of reality
Microtopics:
- Lord enthusiasm.
- Thinking of Ghostbusters because you can't imagine a firefighter.
- Foraging for oats on the top floor of a fire station.
- Installing a pole because your infant son can't descend stairs.
- Finding a horse in a tree.
- Playing CLOP to learn empathy for the descending horse.
- Replacing a spiral staircase with a normal staircase.
- The entire city burning down because the firefighters can't get past the horse that's stuck on the landing.
- Becoming a morning person because of your government job.
- Your child possibly loving the daycare lady more than he loves you.
- Taking melatonin because you don't have the discipline for not looking at screens before bed.
- The shitty dreams of melatonin boot camp.
- Gnawing on the melatonin and leaving it on the nightstand for next time.
- Your body getting stuck on a particular sleep schedule long past its relevance.
- Hypothesizing how much long-lasting damage you did with your teenage sleep habits.
- Focusing better because everyone else is asleep.
- Working until 4am because you're being so productive.
- Not knowing how ads work because you have an ad-blocker installed.
- Finding about how ads work from an 11 year old.
- Your alternate reality self who enjoys a good advertisement now and again.
- Maintaining the pace of film trailers for over an hour.
- Mistaking the trailer before the movie as being part of the movie.
- Nobody being fooled by your fake trailer because people don't watch movies in theaters any more.
- Avoiding watching Bandersnatch because you're a completionist.
- The technical difficulties of adding late choice points to an otherwise linear film.
- Being nostalgic for old UIs of web services.
- Finding a web page that hasn't changed in 15 years.
- Finding a web page that looks 15 years old but also has a mobile style sheet.
- Editing an innocuous fact on Wikipedia that nobody will bother to fact-check.
- Asking to view a historical document and sneaking in a quill pen and inkwell to modify it.
- Citing your doctored document on Wikipedia.
- Befriending a history professor and asking them to mention your fake Kansas senator in a published paper.
- Falsifying movie running times just because you can get away with it.
- Citing an obscure magazine as your source on Wikipedia because nobody will bother to check.
- Clinging to the scraps of the past that you've salvaged from eBay and garage sale VHS tapes.
- Poor documentation of pop culture leading to compelling mysteries.
- Drowning true information with false information.
- The downside of having a unique Google string.
- Having repercussions on all levels of nested reality.
- Dreams as really lazy storytelling.
- Remembering facts without remembering their origin.
- Getting stuck opening a door to mask dream loading time.
- Making up any old bullshit and being convinced it's a Beatles rarity.
- Desperately fleeing from the "The End" title card.
- Realizing your dream is actually just the plot of The Neverending Story.