73. 100 Free Pulls For Your Left Kidney
March 15th, 2021
1 hr 11 mins 2 secs
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Lords:
- Max
- Ryan
Topics:
- What do you think is behind the human fascination with miniature things?
- What are things people assume about you, based on your profession, look, or general vibe, that are always untrue?
- How to fix speed runs
- Yuri asks "Games you love, but really wish you did not. Maybe even games you really don't like much, but keep playing anyway, like a terrible reality tv show you can't look away from."
- Does anyone actually like Frame Interpolation? Am I the only one who always turns it off?
- There seems to be a zoological consensus that hippos share a unique, communal, organized hatred of humankind for reasons that cannot be explained through typical animal behavioral reasoning.
- A restaurant where all the glasses are the same size but if you order a large it gets poured out of a 55 gallon drum and if you order a small it gets filled with an eye dropper.
Microtopics:
- Running a novelty Twitter account about Nonstandard McDonalds.
- Grabbing every flashlight on your house to light your live TV news appearance.
- Running a novelty Twitter account about the mundane business details of running a Long John Silver's.
- White Castle except even stinkier somehow.
- Making tiny novelty hamburgers out of gelatin and cornstarch.
- Miniature things which are their normal size but are smaller than you.
- Sneaking a secret, more interesting topic in after your overt one.
- Elixirs in a JRPG having expiration dates so you don't end the game with 80 of them, never having used a single one.
- Holding a Lego minifig in your hands and thinking "I could pop your head off any time I feel like it."
- Converting inches of height to thousands of dollars per year in salary, and how that works differently for men and women.
- Taking a knife edge turn into the patriarchy.
- Knowing you could mash the person you're talking to like a paper bird, but reassuring them that of course you would never do that.
- Mixing powders into paste and then pressing the paste into a mold.
- Going down the rabbit hole on slurry-based miniature food construction.
- The sad sashimi special you get at a shitty bar after work.
- New shapes of ennui that you've never known as a human being.
- Biting the brick of instant ramen and then washing it down with a bite of the brick of Golden Curry.
- Wanting to produce high quality audio but not really caring much about the quality of audio you listen to.
- Mostly playing video games on consoles that are at least ten years old.
- Tech workers wanting the least internet-connected kitchen appliances available.
- Growing up with hair that makes you look like you do a lot of drugs.
- Getting tossed into camp dirtbag.
- Trading McDonald's jokes with your novelty McDonald's account followers.
- Thinking about long hamburgers every day.
- A tablet you would etch your name into in ancient Egypt, on a hoagie bun.
- Getting a hoagie delivered from a pizza place like some kind of maniac.
- Resetting a game until you get a favorable result.
- Oops All Marathon Strats.
- Why Speedrun?
- Speedrunning as a way to share a game you love with the audience.
- The Timic Skip.
- The changes Jim made to Frog Fractions: Game of the Decade Edition to make speedrunning it more fun.
- Designing your game to be interesting to reverse engineer.
- Tetris: The Grand Master.
- Cranking the skill ceiling on every aspect of Tetris to the absolute maximum.
- Stretching the rules of Tetris so much that the Tetris Company says "this has gone too far" and revokes your Tetris license.
- Designing a game with the assumption of fervent frame by frame analysis by the player base.
- Returning again and again to a game that doesn't respect your time.
- BeamNG.drive
- Gran Turismo Meets Garry's Mod.
- The most satisfying car crash simulator.
- Sitting in a sandbox and smashing Micro Machines together.
- A soft-body physics engine that is supposed to be for gearhead nerds but that you use to crash cars into each other and giggle.
- The cynicism setting in long before the dopamine cycle wears off.
- Deliberately avoiding gacha games because you might start paying for spins.
- Discreetly turning motion smoothing off on your parents' TV.
- Screening your roommates for whether or not they like motion smoothing.
- Looking at a 4k TV and not really noticing a difference.
- The hypothetical audience for motion smoothing.
- Whether Best Buy is your Best Bud.
- Stretching a 4:3 image to cover your 16:9 TV.
- The consumer paying for the chocolate company advertising on the chocolate bar.
- Negotiating with the car dealership by threatening to remove the license plate frame with the dealership's name on it from your car.
- The raw power of a hippopotamus.
- The hippo as a reification of mother earth's desire to cleanse the earth of humanity.
- Hippo Accelerationism.
- Importing hippos into every continent so they can kill even more people even faster.
- The fried banana stand at the San Diego Zoo.
- Why toucans don't swarm and devour humans.
- An abominably fat crow forging relationships left and right.
- Liking someone so much that you leave a big chunk of drywall on their doorstep.
- A forklift robot that can pour a beverage directly out of a 55 gallon drum.
- A chemical you can pour on any part of the pizza to form a crust there.
- A pizza fractal and it never stops, baby.
- Walking into a Sizzler and asking for the fruit lasagna.
- The buffet boom of the 80s.
- Sizzler representing choice in a country about freedom of choice.
- A four minute indoctrination video shown to new Sizzler employees.
- The thickest glasses known to man.