73. 100 Free Pulls For Your Left Kidney


March 15th, 2021

1 hr 11 mins 2 secs

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About this Episode

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  • What do you think is behind the human fascination with miniature things?
  • What are things people assume about you, based on your profession, look, or general vibe, that are always untrue?
  • How to fix speed runs
  • Yuri asks "Games you love, but really wish you did not. Maybe even games you really don't like much, but keep playing anyway, like a terrible reality tv show you can't look away from."
  • Does anyone actually like Frame Interpolation? Am I the only one who always turns it off?
  • There seems to be a zoological consensus that hippos share a unique, communal, organized hatred of humankind for reasons that cannot be explained through typical animal behavioral reasoning.
  • A restaurant where all the glasses are the same size but if you order a large it gets poured out of a 55 gallon drum and if you order a small it gets filled with an eye dropper.


  • Running a novelty Twitter account about Nonstandard McDonalds.
  • Grabbing every flashlight on your house to light your live TV news appearance.
  • Running a novelty Twitter account about the mundane business details of running a Long John Silver's.
  • White Castle except even stinkier somehow.
  • Making tiny novelty hamburgers out of gelatin and cornstarch.
  • Miniature things which are their normal size but are smaller than you.
  • Sneaking a secret, more interesting topic in after your overt one.
  • Elixirs in a JRPG having expiration dates so you don't end the game with 80 of them, never having used a single one.
  • Holding a Lego minifig in your hands and thinking "I could pop your head off any time I feel like it."
  • Converting inches of height to thousands of dollars per year in salary, and how that works differently for men and women.
  • Taking a knife edge turn into the patriarchy.
  • Knowing you could mash the person you're talking to like a paper bird, but reassuring them that of course you would never do that.
  • Mixing powders into paste and then pressing the paste into a mold.
  • Going down the rabbit hole on slurry-based miniature food construction.
  • The sad sashimi special you get at a shitty bar after work.
  • New shapes of ennui that you've never known as a human being.
  • Biting the brick of instant ramen and then washing it down with a bite of the brick of Golden Curry.
  • Wanting to produce high quality audio but not really caring much about the quality of audio you listen to.
  • Mostly playing video games on consoles that are at least ten years old.
  • Tech workers wanting the least internet-connected kitchen appliances available.
  • Growing up with hair that makes you look like you do a lot of drugs.
  • Getting tossed into camp dirtbag.
  • Trading McDonald's jokes with your novelty McDonald's account followers.
  • Thinking about long hamburgers every day.
  • A tablet you would etch your name into in ancient Egypt, on a hoagie bun.
  • Getting a hoagie delivered from a pizza place like some kind of maniac.
  • Resetting a game until you get a favorable result.
  • Oops All Marathon Strats.
  • Why Speedrun?
  • Speedrunning as a way to share a game you love with the audience.
  • The Timic Skip.
  • The changes Jim made to Frog Fractions: Game of the Decade Edition to make speedrunning it more fun.
  • Designing your game to be interesting to reverse engineer.
  • Tetris: The Grand Master.
  • Cranking the skill ceiling on every aspect of Tetris to the absolute maximum.
  • Stretching the rules of Tetris so much that the Tetris Company says "this has gone too far" and revokes your Tetris license.
  • Designing a game with the assumption of fervent frame by frame analysis by the player base.
  • Returning again and again to a game that doesn't respect your time.
  • BeamNG.drive
  • Gran Turismo Meets Garry's Mod.
  • The most satisfying car crash simulator.
  • Sitting in a sandbox and smashing Micro Machines together.
  • A soft-body physics engine that is supposed to be for gearhead nerds but that you use to crash cars into each other and giggle.
  • The cynicism setting in long before the dopamine cycle wears off.
  • Deliberately avoiding gacha games because you might start paying for spins.
  • Discreetly turning motion smoothing off on your parents' TV.
  • Screening your roommates for whether or not they like motion smoothing.
  • Looking at a 4k TV and not really noticing a difference.
  • The hypothetical audience for motion smoothing.
  • Whether Best Buy is your Best Bud.
  • Stretching a 4:3 image to cover your 16:9 TV.
  • The consumer paying for the chocolate company advertising on the chocolate bar.
  • Negotiating with the car dealership by threatening to remove the license plate frame with the dealership's name on it from your car.
  • The raw power of a hippopotamus.
  • The hippo as a reification of mother earth's desire to cleanse the earth of humanity.
  • Hippo Accelerationism.
  • Importing hippos into every continent so they can kill even more people even faster.
  • The fried banana stand at the San Diego Zoo.
  • Why toucans don't swarm and devour humans.
  • An abominably fat crow forging relationships left and right.
  • Liking someone so much that you leave a big chunk of drywall on their doorstep.
  • A forklift robot that can pour a beverage directly out of a 55 gallon drum.
  • A chemical you can pour on any part of the pizza to form a crust there.
  • A pizza fractal and it never stops, baby.
  • Walking into a Sizzler and asking for the fruit lasagna.
  • The buffet boom of the 80s.
  • Sizzler representing choice in a country about freedom of choice.
  • A four minute indoctrination video shown to new Sizzler employees.
  • The thickest glasses known to man.
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