80. Xenogears Disc 3 For Smash


May 3rd, 2021

1 hr 4 mins 32 secs

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  • Attack the Block.
  • Movies where a delineated area is involved in some kind of fight.
  • Lord quality: trying to keep it high.
  • Cooking dinner as a fusion of the cuisines of the two countries that you are about to watch play a sport.
  • White game designers in the 70s deciding that there isn't anything spicier than paprika in this astonishing fantasy world.
  • Doing some home cooking and inventing a new sandwich in the style of the McDonald's fish fillet.
  • The $100 cheese steak.
  • A chef getting famous by serving incredibly high end Big Macs to rich people.
  • Each bottle of Tabasco tasting uniform even though they're all composed of peppers grown in many different countries.
  • How to explain cenobites to Thomas Jefferson.
  • A transporter accident aesthetic.
  • Not liking the music in the club so you turn the DJ into a cenobite with a CD drive for a mouth.
  • Supertramp's Breakfast in America.
  • All known AOL installer CD-ROMs originating with the cenobite who launches CDs out of his face.
  • A CD that was killed by Mountain Dew.
  • The cenobite with a CD drive for a face launching Xenogears disc 3 at you.
  • Xenogears disc 3 for Super Smash Bros.
  • Sympathy for the developers of Xenogears and in fact of any video game.
  • Novelty CD shapes.
  • CD-ROMs cut to the size of business cards with your portfolio on them.
  • Destroying a slot loading CD drive by putting a small or oddly shaped CD in it.
  • Learning to trust yourself to be around sharp knives.
  • Strapping a mandolin slicer to yourself like a keytar.
  • A great spooky house under the freeway.
  • A house made of neon tubing like the ghost ship at the end of Monkey Island.
  • Telekinesing the furniture.
  • Being haunted by ghosts that are clearly just a couple dudes in t-shirts.
  • Getting a bunch of B-list celebrities to shout "Ghostbusters" and act scared.
  • Getting movie footage for your music video by pointing a video camera at the movie screen.
  • Finding synergies between disparate elements of pop culture.
  • Bleh hands.
  • Slimer with a dozen cocktail weenies in his craw.
  • Reaching a compromise that will allow Ray Parker Jr. to haunt your home in peace.
  • The Ghostbusters hiring spectral Ray Parker Jr. to haunt folks and drum up business.
  • Vincent Schiavelli's filmography.
  • A Ghostbusters/Columbo crossover episode.
  • The trick where Chevy Chase eats a cigarette.
  • Slimer always believing that he ate the whole thing.
  • Food age.
  • Eating extremely old cough drops.
  • Not being able to tell if cough drops have gone bad because they always taste like that.
  • Asking someone with a philosophy degree whether cough drops are a food.
  • Accidentally taking enough philosophy classes to qualify for a degree and someone tracks you down to hand you your philosophy degree like a subpoena.
  • Bog cheese.
  • Whether anyone has successfully eaten millennia-old frozen mammoth meat or if it all turned into black goo.
  • Several thousand year old tomb honey.
  • Unboxing and eating military rations on video.
  • Eating hardtack from the American civil war in 2016.
  • Being extremely upbeat about rancid meat.
  • How to tell if vacuum sealed food has botulism.
  • Having the vocabulary to describe all the different ways food can go bad.
  • Trying to buy civil war hardtack on eBay and bidding on a pile of rocks.
  • The most pigeon-dense place you've lived.
  • Taking incredible risks for a single cheeto.
  • Whether nacho cheese is incredibly beautiful to a tetrachromat.
  • Nacho cheese as a nest building materials.
  • Global incidence of human tetrachromacy.
  • Space photos recolored into the visible spectrum so humans can look at them.
  • Pointing a spectroscope at nacho cheese to figure out what pigeons see.
  • The world's tiniest superpower.
  • How to grow up in America without having played a bunch of Mario games.
  • List of soups.
  • Sitting at your Wizard's Desk for too long and getting Wizard's Foot.
  • Fan wikis taking the shape of fan patience.
  • Begging the wiki editors to turn this list into a normalized database table.
  • An exhaustive list of games in which Mario can jump.
  • An exhaustive list of games in which Mario can't jump.
  • Mario visiting San Francisco.
  • The Golden Gate Bridge existing in the Mario multiverse.
  • Japan fitting perfectly in the Super Mario Bros. 3 universe, because Japan is also a magical foreign land I've never visited.
  • The alternate reality where Mario Odyssey depicted world tourism in a hyper-realistic fashion.
  • Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 as a fictionalized depiction of an Olympics that never happened.
  • ESPN broadcasting CPU vs. CPU basketball matches in NBA 2K.
  • Linking to a web site but not encouraging people to go there.
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