Which One Is Eggteen?

00:00:00
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00:54:17

April 13th, 2020

54 mins 17 secs

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Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Non-consensually turning a Discord user into a Discord bot.
  • A recurring topic on this particular episode.
  • Lightly-flavored seltzer water.
  • Entering the Konami code at a soda fountain to get the secret flavor.
  • Getting tasks in your inbox and doing the tasks and getting more tasks as a reward.
  • Not having to take part in the office drama.
  • A complete lack of scrum master.
  • The fantasy of doing a job and getting fairly compensated.
  • The plausibility of having fun at your job.
  • Letting others pay the cost of the harm you're doing to the world.
  • Loving to play games where you clean up messes while your real life home gets worse and worse.
  • Playing a game about a housecleaning robot and deciding doing housework could make you happy in real life too.
  • Not falling for it when mom tries to turn cleaning your room into a game.
  • Teenagers going out of their way to be helpful in the household.
  • Toddlers wanting to do what adults do.
  • Finding out 18 years later your theory is correct.
  • The lego: nature's caltrop.
  • Writing an angry letter to the Lego corporation asking why they don't make squishy legos.
  • Wearing only half a pair of glasses.
  • Choosing Markov Chains because they work better than Tensorflow.
  • Having enough ram to store 1.5 billion floating point values.
  • Whether the Dalai Lama has ever used ICQ, and if so why hasn't Jim talked to him.
  • Some people running really fast, but not as fast as cars, but we still pay them to do it.
  • The emergency board meeting that the CEO of running called when the speed of cars eclipsed the speed of runners.
  • Becoming an artisanal trucker on Etsy when computers take your trucking job.
  • Decking out your artisanal delivery truck in old-timey neon reminiscent of the 80s when people still had jobs.
  • The part of your brain dedicated to determining the gender of the driver who is trying to kill you.
  • Being a very chill person except when you're driving alone.
  • An angry meditation on driving in heavy traffic.
  • The only time your infant son has ever heard you be angry.
  • Bringing your date to see Black Swan without realizing it's secretly a horror movie.
  • Just waiting for the great black scary bird to show up.
  • Pronouncing 1E as "Eggteen."
  • Knowing your pointer is a bad pointer when it's pointing to DEADBEEF.
  • Magic numbers such as 0xDECAFC0FFEE15BAD.
  • Michael Jackson moonwalking on the moon.
  • That feeling when you find that the altar is co-aligned in Minetown in Nethack.
  • Playing tag but not knowing who invented it.
  • Having water at home but trying not to brag about it.
  • A really inefficient way of getting at musicking.
  • Choosing a software package because you just download and run it without doing a bunch of sysadmin bullshit.
  • Being frustrated that there are still some things you can do on a computer but not on a phone.
  • Having an example that you wanted to use but not being able to remember what it was.
  • Remembering what a word means because you once imagined a monkey saying it.
  • Deliberately cracking yourself up so you can remember Bob's last name.
  • Thinking of the time I thought your name was "Blob."
  • Only remembering to buy the funniest items on your grocery list.
  • Memorizing your grocery list and then being stuck with the same grocery list for the rest of your life.
  • The persistent allure of a shelf of physical media even in the era of digital downloads.
  • Being intrigued by Bee Simulator but not being $48 intrigued.
  • Bee dances that are sufficiently expressive to articulate game reviews.
  • Git cloning the mind of someone with a good memory so you can remember things better.
  • Only being able to remember monkeys brachiating, but remembering the hell out of it.
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