109. Ultra Rare Cheeto Shaped Like Batman Crying

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Lords:

• Stevie
• Avery
  • https://averyburke.bandcamp.com/

Topics:

• Collectable cheetos on Ebay
  • https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=rare+cheeto
• Japanese websites are stuck in the 90s. Any theories?
  • https://search.marginalia.nu/
• Medieval European and ancient Egyptian philosophy.
• Brad asks "Denatured alcohol: alcohol that has poison added to it to prevent people drinking it. What other things do we / could we intentionally pollute to restrict their usage?"
• The unusual puzzles of StarTropics.

Microtopics:

• Defining poop by its shape.
• The lava of the human body.
• The Content Distribution Baby growing up into a Content Distribution Man.
• An angry internet mob that won't say why they're angry so you just have to fix every problem until they go away.
• Legally changing your name to add a silent and invisible Bitcoin logo.
• Searching for collectible Cheetos on eBay.
• A Cheeto shaped like a lobster claw.
• Putting a Cheeto shaped like a cockatiel on eBay for months but nobody's buying so you give up and eat it.
• Whether there is a subculture of investors collecting rare Cheetos on eBay or if it's just a subculture of people listing Cheetos on eBay as a joke.
• heritageauctionsforcheetos.com
• Bidding $40,000 on a Cheeto shaped like Harambe when you have no intention of paying, because the worst that can happen is that your eBay score goes down by one point.
• Buying a penis-shaped collectible Cheeto for $1.40 but still waiting on it because it got caught up in escrow.
• Bidding on an eBay auction and walking away when you get outbid.
• Looking at collectible Cheeto auctions and then eBay won't stop trying to sell you posters of ladies canoodling.
• Cheeto misprints and their value on the collectors market.
• Arnold Schwarzenegger if his legs were joined together like a seal.
• The web sites we visited back before the internet had the power to reach into the real world and strangle it.
• A search engine optimized to return pages that are mostly static text.
• Loading the bottom of your web page with keywords.
• Keeping a designer on payroll so that every few years your interface can alternate between having gradients and being flat.
• Asking Jeeves things and he tells you the answers, like a modern day Delphi.
• Let's play: Flaming Hot Cheetos or Freezing Cold Cheetos?
• A cheerleader pyramid made of butlers.
• Scraping Wikipedia and formating the results like a book.
• A postcard with a picture of Kim Jong Un saying "Live, Laugh, Love."
• Pharaoh culture.
• A Canticle for Liebowitz.
• Medieval monks stumbling into a bomb shelter.
• Making an illuminated manuscript of instructions on how to build a bomb so you can give it to the Pope.
• The Learned Bede.
• The four dudes in your culture who can write and create original work.
• Kingdoms in medieval Europe, centered around the manors of rich noble Romans.
• Nearly everyone dying from the plague so all the public servants are in their early teens.
• Intelligible Forms.
• Aristotelean ideas about science.
• Going real alien.
• Ultra Rare Cheeto Shaped Like The Venerable Bede.
• The first dinosaur of Egypt.
• Inventing the razor because of your unsightly back hair.
• Waking up from anesthetic to find that the surgeon shaved body parts nowhere near the incision site, "because you're a hairy beast."
• First, do no hair.
• The Egyptian book of the Dead.
• The Egyptian conception of the afterlife, where you go underground and a guy with a crocodile head weighs your heart against the Feather of Truth and if your heart balances, you get to sit in a long line with your male predecessors for eternity, and that's the best possible outcome.
• Religions competing to provide the best afterlife.
• When we as a species learned to attach afterlife outcomes to ethical behavior, as opposed to dying in battle.
• Having a dream once where all the great kings, after they die they go to the House of Dust and eat clay for eternity, and deciding that that's a fact. That's canon now.
• The nine parts of the soul.
• Being constantly surrounded, your whole life, by monuments to death big enough to see from space.
• Adding a scent to natural gas so that you can smell when it's filling your house.
• Whether antifreeze is sweet and if so can a cat taste antifreeze.
• How one might test whether cats can taste sweet.
• Tongue meat analysis: a great way to tell.
• The Inverted Qualia Problem.
• Asking a cat if it can taste sweet, and the cat asks "what does sweet mean" and you say "sweet my internal experience when I put these white crystals in my mouth" and the cat is like "I also have an internal experience when I put these white crystals in my mouth."
• A video game related topic.
• Trying to locate your missing uncle who has been abducted by aliens.
• A video game NPC asking you for a password and to find it you can to have to dip the video game's manual in water in real life.
• An 80s video game puzzle that requires you to be familiar with solfege to solve it.
• How you could get away with a lot more bullshit back in the 80s.
• The experience of suddenly realizing that it's the piece of paper.
• Going into a portable trailer made up like a cool bachelor pad and noticing that you don't have a reflection in the mirror and upon further examination realizing that the mirror is actually a window into the same room reversed, down to the clock running counterclockwise.
• Sneaking irrelevant puzzles into someone else's room escape game.
• Forcing the employees of an escape room to escape an escape room of their own. (Jail.)
• The ultimate unrequited high five.