92. Tomb Of The Spider-Men

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July 26th, 2021

1 hr 1 sec

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Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The illustrious Abby Denton.
  • A shambles.
  • Locking your Twitter so nobody knows what you're doing in there.
  • Making a whole video game magazine out of just the good parts of video game magazines.
  • Publishing a series of short stories by formatting them like cheat codes and then submitting them to Tips & Tricks magazine.
  • Nostalgia for when most of your perception of the gaming world came from tiny screenshots in magazines.
  • A book that is a bunch of fake games and paragraphs about them.
  • A duck riding a skateboard.
  • Making a book out of a Twitter thread.
  • Reading about video games in magazines probably being the optimal experience actually because most games were terrible.
  • Game Master Anthony's birthday party.
  • Street Fighter 2, the last game in the Street Fighter series.
  • NBA Jam arcade as proof that cheat codes are compatible with microtransactions.
  • Renting a game just to prove to your friend that the cheat code they heard about doesn't actually work.
  • WWF Attitude.
  • Enjoying the bouquet of Uniracers.
  • A certain quality of gibberish.
  • Publishing a fake cheat code in the annual Tips and Tricks monster issue to convey the location of your drug drop.
  • Putting Roll back in the Marvel vs. Capcom series.
  • A very mild defense.
  • Superman fighting a gang of Chinese acrobats portrayed by white heroin addicts.
  • Mafiosos cha-cha-ing around the room and chanting "Curtains for Superman!"
  • The only Superman story where kryptonite never appears.
  • An evil psychoanalyst defeating Superman by convincing him he's just a regular guy.
  • Why can't the strongest man in the world be the happiest man in the world?
  • Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark.
  • Dorky British guys trying to impress Michelle Pfeiffer.
  • Giving a three year old a DVD of Grease 2 for her birthday.
  • Everything are an opera.
  • Just barely losing the Nobel Prize for thirty years in a row.
  • Japanese arcade note-sharing culture.
  • If Atari 2600 Adventure has a dozen Easter eggs as obscure as its hidden room, and they were all necessary to finish the game.
  • One thing the NES is good at.
  • The Gilligan's Island game for NES.
  • Gilligan's Island for NES being rated only .1 star out of five less than Sonic CD.
  • Game Center CX.
  • The time you could explore Namco Museum.
  • Bubble Bobble.
  • Hiding a bunch of stuff in your indie game inspired by Frog Fractions but nobody ever finds it because nobody cared enough about your game.
  • Spelunky 2.
  • Your stuff per second rate.
  • Nightmare of Druaga.
  • How to know if you have a friend.
  • A Brian De Palma split screen dream.
  • Waking up with sugar on your head.
  • Michel Gondry's music video ouevre.
  • I, Palindrome, I.
  • A team of compositors working for six months to bring your one-second idea to fruition.
  • Hitting someone with your car and then following them down the street yelling at them.
  • A reverse strip club where the performers are moving backwards in time.
  • Practicing how to put a reverse-causality shirt on.
  • A complete understanding of why Miho Hatori is going to bed with a sugar head.
  • Teaching your son how to yawn.
  • Playing Doctor Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine with your tiny, tiny feet.
  • Jerks welcome!
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