166. There's Only One Best Topic


December 26th, 2022

1 hr 11 mins 31 secs

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About this Episode

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  • Erica
  • Maxx



  • The Topic Lords discord.
  • Meeting friends in the Kingdom of Loathing chat.
  • A virtual birthday party crashing app.
  • Piranesi.
  • A website where people post sound.
  • Wav laundering.
  • Purchasing a lion sound effect from an off-Broadway sound effect shop.
  • Sending over the can crushing noises that you selected.
  • Someone's friend pretending to be a bird.
  • Having a roommate named Phil all of whose passwords were “Phil”
  • AAA games with Freesound user names in the credits.
  • Recognizing Brick Drop 5 from Dope Dragon 69's Freesound portfolio.
  • Officer, I was just making a video game!
  • The psychology of why no Freesound user has uploaded a good pneumatic tube delivery sound.
  • The bank teller watching you and registering your surprise at being delivered a tube.
  • The bank tellers noticing that you are shitting into the pneumatic delivery tube and lifting the Gallagher tarp in front of their faces.
  • Getting ready for bed and then suddenly recording an episode of Topic Lords.
  • SmokenweewALT recording water flowing sounds in Flushing, Queens.
  • The best Wikipedia pages.
  • Toe Cleavage.
  • Cats who have jobs.
  • Finding things on Wikipedia that are not directly related to one another.
  • Tweeting your disappointment that a weird thing turns out to be part of the Frog Fractions ARG.
  • The alternate reality where Frog Fractions 2 launched but nobody ever found it.
  • The final unsolved (and now unsolvable) FF2 ARG puzzle.
  • Who was solving things?
  • New ways to not be at work.
  • Another word for having a good time.
  • Choosing photos to represent the concept of leisure.
  • Phil relaxing on the couch next to his toilet paper.
  • Someone who doesn't have a bed but does have two lanterns.
  • The guy who has spent fifteen years uploading pictures of his foreskin to Wikipedia just in case someone needs a picture of foreskin.
  • Spending so long thinking about someone that you're unsure whether they're notorious to anyone but you.
  • A foreskin in repose.
  • Believing that genes are immortal survival machines that use our disposable bodies to endlessly replicate themselves.
  • The concept of leisure as a human right.
  • Serious vs. casual leisure.
  • Project-based leisure projects.
  • A poem stapled to the wall in a laundromat in Massachusetts.
  • Voices hanging close in the new acoustics.
  • Explaining to your little brother that the snow angels are angel corpses that a nearby farmer murdered.
  • Lying to your child just a little bit, as a treat.
  • The Seattle Space Noodle.
  • The last Burger King in Amsterdam.
  • The most normal person you know.
  • Running an impromptu experiment on the internet by asking strangers to eat nothing but potatoes and report back.
  • Trying the all-potatoes diet for thirty years.
  • Eating 40 potatoes a day.
  • Game designer and science communicator Nicky Case.
  • Halftato.
  • Overdosing on potassium.
  • Doctors telling you to cool it with the potassium.
  • Why doctors don't know how much chemotherapy to give obese people.
  • The doctor from the phrenology department measuring your neck to see if you have sleep apnea.
  • Parasitic plants imitating the host plant's leaves.
  • Recognizing silhouettes of birds from an 8x8 monochrome image.
  • Rapidly changing the hydraulics of your leaves.
  • A forest of Max mimicry.
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