108. Sitting And Being Angry At Your Phone

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Lords:

• Mark
• Shirley

Topics:

• Neuroscience!
• Fertility tracking is more complicated than I realized.
• When it turns out that a character in a movie is movie-star hot because it's a plot point, rather than because they're portrayed by a movie star, and I guess then the audience is supposed to pretend all the other characters, also played by movie stars, just look like regular schlubs.
• Immortal - Call Of The Wintermoon
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VBdAY8eA9w
  • Unedited (syncable) commentary: https://youtu.be/I4XK7YqwgFg
• Tiktok food trends that are more about elaborate assembly than flavors.
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vesYREe6_uk

Microtopics:

• A band from Sweden that just released a demo.
• Album art with a big giant snake and a shirtless barbarian dude whipping a mace at a guy.
• A punk band composed of mixed race middle school riot grrls.
• Speaking to a rude 12 year old and running off to write a bitchin' punk song about it.
• Observing someone's career arc via the podcasts they guest on.
• Talking yourself out of being a scientist.
• Helping people with early-stage dementia manage activities of daily living.
• An acquired language problem.
• Adapting to not being in an abusive workplace environment.
• How a process improvement is received when you suggest it to your BevMo manager vs. when you suggest it to the head of your neuroscience lab.
• How every retail store is as understaffed as possible by design.
• Switching from a retail job to an office job and suddenly being trusted to decide when to go to the bathroom.
• How the world might be different if the people in charge had to live in the world they created.
• Thriving in Our Hypercapitalist Dystopia.
• Trying to have a kid and learning a whole bunch about your own body in the process.
• Giving kids facts instead of ideology or even advice.
• Going to pregnancy club and wondering if there's an aspirational pregnancy club.
• Taking your temperature when you emerge from slumber.
• Peeing on sticks. (A medical process.)
• Not trying, not preventing.
• Cervical mucus.
• A bad batch of kombucha can kill you, and other ways kombucha is like a pregnancy.
• Being naturally blessed with high motility sperm.
• Asking your doctor if you should run a bunch of tests and they're like "just chill" and you're like "take my blood, please"
• The science of trying-adjacent.
• Drinking too deeply of the colloidal silver.
• A bookish nerd who is portrayed by one of the most attractive humans on the planet but they're wearing glasses.
• The incomparable Finn Carter.
• Trying to cast an actor to play an unattractive person but Steve Buscemi is busy and you can't find a single other ugly actor so you cast Scarlet Johansson and have the makeup department put her in uglyface.
• Doing an image search for "ugly actors" and every single result is of a South Asian and freaking out until you find out that there's a Bollywood movie called "Ugly."
• Putting "the frumpy one" from a movie in a room next to a bunch of normal people and realizing that you need to blow way past the conventionally-attractive bell curve to even be allowed into Los Angeles.
• A music video that was shot on VHS and uploaded to 2006-era Youtube.
• Goth clowns scowling and looking out from behind trees.
• A troupe of grumpy goth clowns in leather daddy outfits discovering and exploring ancient ruins.
• Cutting your frenulum so you can stick out your tongue as far as Gene Simmons and waking up choking on your tongue meat every night.
• Grumpy goth clowns crouching in doorways.
• Hearing a variety of different screams and growls.
• Training to scream for several hours a day, every day, without ruining your screamy bits.
• Doing the crabcore thing decades before crabcore.
• Googling "candlemass bewitched" for a good time.
• Watching TikTok on Reddit because you're old.
• Extremely simple and compelling recipes that can't possibly work and will in fact cause a fire in your chicken.
• Making bad content to make people mad.
• Trying to redefine porn as anything you enjoy.
• Making a series of recipe videos with your nonstandard measuring cups so people need to buy your weird measuring cups to follow along.
• Elsagate.
• J. Kenji Lopez-Alt.
• Hard boiling a million eggs to scientifically determine that you're super sick of eating eggs.
• Food Wishes.
• That's Just You Cookin'.
• A cool chef with a cool attitude.
• A chef with a cadence of speaking that really annoys your dad.
• Learning to improvise when faced with an unexpected situation.
• How to get joy out of cooking.
• The fugu preparation certification.
• Watching somebody spend five minutes washing some extremely starchy rice.
• Having two gimmicks.
• A knife that you can also use as a spatula.
• Using fresh stream water in your forest cooking videos.