264. Pickpocketed So Hard You Die

Lords:

• Andrew
  • https://kittenm4ster.neocities.org/
• Aubrianne

Topics:

• I will never get good at video games and that's okay
• Does charging (or even allowing donations) for something change its perception as a piece of art?
• Messy game design
• To Be of Use, Marge Piercy
  • https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/57673/to-be-of-use
• Films Noir
• Complementary Hobby Power Couples

Microtopics:

• Just shakin' it a little bit.
• The royal it.
• Putting Homestar Runner on shuffle while you do homework.
• Making Pico-8 games under an Internet name.
• Your child petting a dog but when you try to pet the dog as well the dog is like "no, not you!"
• A beard or long braid as a fidget tool.
• Spectrum Cheater Reveals.
• Games where you have to plan ahead.
• A very easy social slot to fit into.
• How many extra organs does Master Chief have?
• Watching your mom fail the same jump in Animal Well for twenty minutes.
• Picking a garbage can in Fallout 3 where you keep all your stuff which works great until they patch garbage collection into the game.
• A game that requires two skills and the two skills exist in two different people.
• What happened to cheat codes?
• Paying the pickpocket trainer to train you and then pickpocketing your money back.
• Pickpocketing someone's vital organs.
• Homestar Runner as the ultimate counter example.
• What quilts are worth if you charged a fair wage for your time.
• Spending half an hour convincing your nephew that this scarf really is worth $300.
• The only two millennials who haven't professionalized their hobbies.
• Constructing your game design like a mathematical proof.
• The promise of the text parser.
• All the weird bespoke deaths you could find in a Sierra game.
• Games intended for people who have more free time than you.
• How to make it completely viable to make small games.
• A clever hack to market your video game (spend a bunch of money)
• The promise of the 50 in one pirate kart.
• Trying to get the house gifts in every game in UFO 50.
• Collecting the umbrella and the pin an least a dozen times.
• A Guided Tour of Barbuta.
• The black sleek heads of seals bouncing like half submerged balls.
• Doing what has to be done, again and again.
• A form of idleness that produces an incredibly amount of textiles.
• Peruvian people spinning while they wait for the bus.
• Why nobody gives a shit about rope and string.
• Appreciating the lasagna that's right in front of you.
• Making a loaf of bread for your family that mostly eats peanut butter sandwiches.
• Making a little frowny face at "amphoras."
• Meeting a girl and wooing her with good semicolon usage.
• Dressing up as Elaine and Guybrush for Halloween.
• Whoppers Jr. and Games Boys Advance.
• Classic Film Noir such as Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
• That time Rita Hayworth made you realize you were gay.
• Getting no movies from America for years and then getting a ton of movies from America all at once.
• Pulpy low-budget melodramas.
• The Hays Code.
• The five minute monologue where Quint describes the graphic sex scene between Jaws and the Hoth Ice Wampa
• Neo Noir. (Meaning from the 70a.)
• Modern art. (Meaning from the early 20th century.)
• Neo Noir films such as the Bourne Identity and Batman Begins
• Bugs Bunny inventing the smoky noir saxophone.
• A taxonomy of complementary hobby pairs.
• Getting 20 musicians in a room and it's a total disaster.
• Sheep growing so much extraneous wool that they fall on their backs and explode.
• Youtube recommending a video on how to flip a sheep over.
• Sheep Tips: How to Flip a Sheep.
• A video of a guy getting out of a car and hopping a fence and running over to help a sheep who is stuck on its back like "what do I even do now?"
• Fellow Jorts Horsians.
• Deep lore of server outages.