181. My Own Personal Kennedy Assassination


April 10th, 2023

1 hr 4 mins

Your Hosts

About this Episode


  • Avery
  • Tyriq


  • Adam, Father of all humankind, was maybe a giant
  • Heathcliff is still going and it's weird
  • I've heard a million novelty metal covers but still nobody's done Truly Scrumptious / Doll on a Music Box from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
  • "The Phone Call" by James Tate


  • Withholding all your best URLs until the end of the episode.
  • Using lowercase Ls in place of Is and seeing if anybody notices.
  • Leaving capitalizations to the whims of chaos. (Your fingers.)
  • Teachers explaining that if you can't write in cursive by junior high your teachers will throw things at you and call you stupid.
  • Adam and Eve growing to 18 feet tall.
  • Pre-flood humans and their towering heights/lifespans/IQs.
  • How to make your wisdom teeth fit again.
  • Conspiracy theories that have no bearing on anything.
  • Fighting wars over the estimated radius of the earth.
  • The Nephilim.
  • YHWH fanfiction.
  • How many Jesuses are alive today.
  • The friend you have with superhuman charisma and whether they ended up starting a cult.
  • Getcherself a nice cult, settle down, have a thousand babies.
  • The guy who was both a dwarf and a giant during his lifetime.
  • Every tall person having been short at one point.
  • Chain-smoking tweens drinking martinis and yelling at their secretaries.
  • A Topic Lords ouroboros.
  • Hypothesizing why the elderly people Heathcliff lives with have a child.
  • Having a child for some reason.
  • A humanoid robot with the word "meat" printed on its chest.
  • The kind of people who read comics every day.
  • Zippy the Pinhead.
  • A weird underground subculture comic that somehow made it into newspaper syndication.
  • Mustache Mondays vs. Mustache Lasagna.
  • A milk mustache but for lasagna.
  • A cartoon anvil that has its weight imprinted on it.
  • Two side characters explaining the situation to each other.
  • One of the birds says to the other, "Christ, what an asshole."
  • Historians a thousand years from now deciding whether Heathcliff should be included in the Bible.
  • After recorded media stops being a thing, episodes of The Simpsons being passed down as oral history.
  • Rhapsodes.
  • Contests for the best rhapsode.
  • Hector of the Shining Helmet vs. Hector the Booty Inspector.
  • Fillet episodes in the Odyssey and the Iliad.
  • The Flaming Lips album that comes on four CDs that your supposed to play simultaneously, but nobody's ever bothered.
  • How they handle hidden tracks on Spotify.
  • How to deal with skits when you're ripping rap albums to mp3.
  • The Meat Puppets playing a set in the middle of Nirvana'a MTV Unplugged set.
  • Writing a song about a shooting star who's been turned into a rat and has just fallen in love with someone named Tristran, and trying to figure out what rhymes with Tristran.
  • Working at the Brill Building.
  • Tin Pan Alley.
  • Nearly jumping out of your pants.
  • Taking a high-paying job as a murder victim.
  • The one where people wear horse skulls.
  • The Scrambler, from issue #12 where the panels were all out of order.
  • Working at the oil refinery until a giant spider comes and steals the Light of the Silmarils.
  • Whether there's a werewolf in the Silmarillion.
  • Biblical Exigesis.
  • Getting email saying that your art is improving someone's life.
  • A phone that can receive text messages but you have to pay extra to know who they're from.
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