135. I've Been A Bad, Bad French
May 23rd, 2022
1 hr 15 mins 23 secs
Your Hosts
Tags
About this Episode
Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!
Lords:
- Nate
- Fred
Topics:
- Why do rice cookers play music but not microwaves?
- If all your needs are met in a utopian society will we still need sports and competition?
- Hot Ice, Cool Sounds
- Goblin Time by Emma
- https://mastodon.art/@emmajuettner/108103474257806186
- Esper says: "My long-held suspicion has always been that humans are generally way less prone to salt-related health issues than suggested by nutritional science. I think a lot of that stuff was ginned up by cigarette companies trying to deflect blame. But I try not to go full-on conspiracy theory about it."
- Nerds candy has a Dungeons and Dragons themed box. Is this good for D&D?
- If the four horsemen of the apocalypse were recruiting for a fifth member, how would you convince them to hire you?
Microtopics:
- A shmup about how Microsoft screwed up their Xbox 360 dashboard.
- Screaming for 24 hours straight and having a heart attack, or vice versa.
- Remastering your obscure protest game and needing to build a museum explaining the context for the protest.
- An educational title about how to find games on the new Xbox 360 dashboard.
- An infinite runner with extremely awkward horse controls.
- Using all the right dark patterns.
- Meeting an indie game developer in San Francisco and recognizing him because he's a white guy with a beard and glasses who likes Dark Souls.
- A pot that's specifically for rice and it knows when to school cooking the rice.
- Only rice cookers get to sing a song.
- Installing an AI in your microwave so your microwave can try to murder you.
- A codependent washing machine.
- Landlords in California doing an end run around renter's rights.
- The keyless entry system on your apartment that has a battery backup just so it can play "These Boots are Made for Walking" when it can't let you in because the power is out.
- 3D printing some laundry to fold because people are bored in your Utopia.
- Extremely soporific TV.
- A mashup of music and sports.
- Gathering to watch a live band play while a chef makes crepes.
- Whether you can be bored while watching two things at the same time.
- An orchestra trying to live-score a basketball game.
- Trying to listen to an arcade game in the arcade.
- Goblins in our community.
- A bullet point list of how you can help a goblin.
- Spicy radish waffles.
- Blackwheat crepes and whether they're really black.
- Lemonade crepes.
- Dipping a sandwich in mustard.
- The pros and cons of salting food.
- Chickens laying pre-salted eggs.
- Paying a monthly subscription to Monsanto to keep up the injections that make your tongue exude its own salt.
- Getting in line to hate Monsanto.
- Whether nerds are more or less likely to eat Nerds candy.
- A candy for people who forgot D&D exists.
- Candy&D.
- A series of Nerds-themed D&D campaigns.
- Hiring people and paying them.
- Star Trek Jeopardy where 70% of the answers are 1980s pop culture because the federation is obsessed with the 80s.
- Seeing yet another college sports question in the New York Times crossword and deciding whether to get irrationally angry at Will Shortz.
- What Jim embodies that is the worst thing.
- Death, war, famine, pestilence, crypto and late-onset melatonin.
- John Cleese teaching sex ed in a boarding school.
- Starting with death and going downhill from there.
- Convincing Death to not kill anyone and Death just rides off and mopes.
- Whether the four horsemen listen to podcasts or if the internet is down during the apocalypse.
- The four new horsemen of the new apocalypse: crypto, gaslighting, late-onset melatonin and Elon Musk.
- How to find people to follow on Mastodon.
- How to be a part of a human-sized community.
- The Topic Lords subreddit.
- The photo of a middle school basketball team that somebody posted to the Topic Lords subreddit.
- How to keep spam bots out of your Discord.
- Batbarian.