198. I'm Not Leaving Until Someone Sequences This Cup Of Spit

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August 7th, 2023

1 hr 4 mins 26 secs

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About this Episode

Lords:

  • Maxx
  • Avery

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Topics. Disgust.
  • A video game experience that you will find relatable if you've ever moved.
  • Making prototype furniture out of huge Tetris blocks and then forcing your friends to carry them around every time you move onto a new house.
  • The kind of friend who believes the world should be a certain way and then acts like it is.
  • Just frogs. Toads too. Mostly turtles.
  • Frog-themed 8th birthday parties.
  • Running a frog rescue out of your van.
  • Frog Fractions 2: Revenge of the Fallen.
  • Writing Bonfire of the Vanities but never reading it.
  • Sport meets art: spart.
  • Method ringing with two cycle sine waves.
  • Installing a huge church organ in your home because they were giving it away for free but when you play a note the whole building catches on fire.
  • Free Pianos On Line!
  • Babysitting someone's upright piano while they go on the lam.
  • The mattress story but with a piano.
  • Where the warehouse came from.
  • When the landlord comes by and you have to put a microphone over your bed to convince him that this is a recording studio, not a bedroom.
  • Getting a pipe organ so you can play it while holding your brain in a jar and cackling.
  • Sliding down the whale rib.
  • Donating your brain to art so that they can slide it down the whale rib and try to hit a target.
  • Experiencing change ringing in a regal square.
  • Memorial ringing
  • Bell ringing machines.
  • Robots competing in team sports.
  • Microsumo.
  • Sumo printers smashing into each other.
  • Making a fighting toaster for the fighting toaster league.
  • Battle Bots vs. Robot Jox.
  • Department stores with an entire floor for stationery.
  • Buying Gundam models and never putting them together and just having a bunch of robot heads lying around.
  • Major innovations in robot mouse maze navigation.
  • A mouse with an inverted helicopter to keep it on the ground.
  • A 3D maze with a robot mouse that can walk on walls and ceilings.
  • Fun rugs fun time shapes to impress your teens with a trendy sense of style when you bring it into their room.
  • A rug covered with keywords from the 90s internet.
  • $87 for not that big of a rug.
  • Bonding with your child over ISP servers.
  • A visitor trying to bond with you about your ironic decor and you have to explain that sorry, no, it's supposed to be ironic.
  • The illuminated manuscript version of an the ironic internet rug.
  • A fantastic place to buy nuts and other bulk items.
  • A limit of 1 kilogram of tapioca pearls per customer.
  • Bringing the tapioca balls to life in the rice cooker.
  • Inventing a new way to dispose of tapioca pearls every single day.
  • Tiktok schticks that are connected to a minimum wage jobs so even if your tiktok starts making a bunch of money you still can't quit your shitty job.
  • Having anxiety dreams about the coffee shop you worked at years ago.
  • Non-mammalian milk enthusiasm.
  • Being someone's non-mammalian milk guy.
  • A bipedal walrus with jaundiced eyes in a jar the size of a walrus and it knows you're here.
  • Leaving a turtle in the park and it's a 50/50 tossup whether it immediately dies or has a litter of a thousand baby turtles that devour the entire ecosystem.
  • Companies that are named after the business that used to be in the building.
  • A 1950s sign with a bowling pin on it that says "Safeway."
  • Walking into the DNA lounge and demanding that they sequence some DNA.
  • Military challenge coins.
  • Meeting the world's best grandma and she hands you a "world's greatest grandma" mug to prove it.
  • Seek god coin??
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