101. Flatty The Flat Globe


September 27th, 2021

1 hr 4 mins 23 secs

Your Hosts

About this Episode

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!




  • Completing the set of Duckfeed guests.
  • Health care simulation.
  • The moth having himself a journey.
  • Hydrodynamics of the bloodstream.
  • Little Square Things.
  • Filling your life with media about anthropomorphized inanimate objects.
  • Whether Data needs hair.
  • Giving your shiny yellow skin for legal reasons.
  • A talking garage that is hungry for cars.
  • Does that anthropomorphic talking chair even eat ass?
  • A talking map of the United States.
  • Whether someone already mentioned the talking photo booth.
  • Clocky the talking map.
  • The "marry it" joke.
  • Cortana receiving your one-star review of trying to rename this folder.
  • Preserved Fish.
  • Morris Morris, Jr.
  • Experience Burt Merrick.
  • Preserved Fish writing his own Wikipedia page.
  • Signing in to leave a flower.
  • Leaving a Blingee on your ancestor's grave.
  • A door that is shut but it's not flush with the doorway and the "door ajar" alarm goes off.
  • A car upgrade where if you partially close the door it closes it the rest of the way for you.
  • Why don't they make two planes out of the black box material, one on top of the other.
  • A car door that is in many respects shut.
  • Go back to sleep and wake up properly, dipshit.
  • Trying to make Shitty Shut happen with Gen Z by getting on TikTok and using a filter that makes you look young and doing meme dances.
  • Teaching your three year old to call it "shitty shut" and when grownups tell him he shouldn't use the word "shitty," whispering from the bushes "yes you should!"
  • Euphemism withdrawal.
  • Steadfastly refusing to swear but still calling it a shitpost because that's what you call it.
  • The clip art dude sailing across the screen.
  • Doing one dance and your shadow doing a slightly different dance.
  • Reshooting a scene but keeping the same shadows as before.
  • Pop quiz: sideburn on only one side of the face, or slept on a greasy bench?
  • An entertaining slow watch.
  • A fire hydrant made of a pie tin and aluminum foil.
  • Singing into a fan.
  • Everybody realizing that there is someone on the ceiling.
  • The Gentle Exorcist.
  • A sheriff labeled "boy."
  • A drug store full of a band.
  • The additional challenge of a mechanical bull mounted upside down on the ceiling.
  • Figuring out how to do a special effects shot for a story moment and then deciding to put the effect in every other shot regardless of whether it makes sense.
  • Watching a 40 year old music video and then tracking down the director and asking if you win a prize for being the first to notice a specific joke.
  • The falling yellow liquid spilling forth within the billiards bar.
  • Go low, Ken and sons.
  • Whether people say that they have some "bad" "boys" on the "grill," why don't you "pop" on "over."
  • The thing where you carve a hot dog into an octopus shape.
  • A hot dog that is too polite to burst if you put it in the microwave.
  • Why every dog is a "good boy" but none of them are great.
  • The Go West Music Video Cinematic Universe.
  • Bad boys who are also bad dancers.
  • The Ultimate Good Boy.
  • Running out the time rewind potion.
  • A puzzle game with story except for the enormous lore dump at the end.
  • Bob's Game.
  • Being really into the story of the development of Bob's Game except for all the pain and human suffering.
  • ARGeez.
  • Renaming your game to "OK" so nobody can search for it.
Support Topic Lords