102. I Wouldn't Touch That With A 3.048 Meter Pole


October 4th, 2021

1 hr 2 mins 50 secs

Your Hosts

About this Episode

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!



  • The length of poles with which to not touch things as a measure of repulsion
  • Weezer just released a new album. You can already listen to it, on demand, for free on youtube. How do they, or any band make money today?
  • Why is the Doom Plasma Rifle like that
  • Yeasayer - Ambling Alp
  • Why does the Metaverse look so bland?


  • Getting feedback and becoming insecure.
  • Entertaining each other.
  • 400 Microsoft points.
  • What you would do if you were lame.
  • Whatever you call the boy version of Lisa Frank.
  • Pillboxing.
  • The consequences of an extremely wide screen.
  • The Big Steel Battalion Box.
  • Various pole lengths, esp. the one from How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
  • The length of the pole with which you don't want to touch continue.
  • A ten foot pole with haptic feedback so you can touch things with it.
  • Poking something with a stick to discover how gross it is.
  • Whether pole vaulting is ridiculous.
  • Whether pole vaulting is real or just exists in Tremors and The Last Jedi.
  • That Dutch town where everybody uses communal poles to vault across the river, and how it's all Uber poles now and you have to pay rental fees.
  • Nobody being trained for pole vaulting but the coach is like "does anyone want to just try it so we don't lose this pole vaulting event by default" and everyone looks at you.
  • The most salient thing about pole vaulting.
  • How a band might still make money if some rando uploads their album to Youtube.
  • Content-ID's failure modes.
  • Living in a world where piracy won over paying for things.
  • Trying to watch a movie, where piracy is easier than figuring out how to pay, vs. trying to play a video game where paying is easier than figuring out how to pirate it
  • All the ways you can support a band financially other than paying for the music, because everyone just listens for free.
  • The most American gun ever made.
  • Whether the Doom plasma rifle overheats after it runs out of ammo.
  • Punishing the player for being careful.
  • What Tom Hall would've written in the Doom Bible about the plasma rifle if he still worked at id.
  • A geodesic dome with two of the triangles painted red.
  • A guy with a mirror for a face.
  • Someone who lives in the cheese.
  • Reverse nachos, where things come out of the cheese and eat you.
  • If the Grim Reaper had a mirror instead of a skull.
  • This Squishing Face.
  • Not being allowed to punch the mirror-faced boxer above the neck.
  • Trying to sing while people pull on your lips.
  • Getting drenched in VHS fluid.
  • Homer Simpson in hell taking and spitting out one bite each of infinite burgers.
  • Whether they are mustard men or cheese men.
  • Peeling off the cheese and realizing there is a dude in your cheese.
  • Taking a bite out of a chocolate Easter bunny and the live bunny inside wriggles out and hops away.
  • Mole.
  • The music video continuing to be weird while you talk about food.
  • All the naked people in the desert lying on astronaut blankets and closing their legs relative to the camera.
  • Making s'mores in a solar oven.
  • Extremely white flesh in the bright, bright sun.
  • Facebook giving the Olive Garden treatment to Second Life.
  • Making the Metaverse as uncool as possible.
  • Shipping a half dozen telepresence robots to every employee's house so they can have a conference call.
  • Gravitating towards whatever process or technology has the least friction.
  • Spelling it as if you are giving a gift to Bit Friday.
  • Possessivemommysbestgames.com
Support Topic Lords