Topic Lords

Episode Archive

Episode Archive

49 episodes of Topic Lords since the first episode, which aired on October 28th, 2019.

  • A Buzzsaw Made Of Bananas

    February 17th, 2020  |  1 hr 11 mins
    april, john

    Lords this week: April and John. We discuss creating D&D characters, being friends with people older/younger than you, when a head nod is appropriate, where to find the Big Mike banana, mind palaces, migrating your files from one computer to the next, and making great salads.

  • I Don't Want To Be Skin Dad

    February 10th, 2020  |  1 hr 8 mins
    kole, tim

    Lords this week: Tim and Kole. We discuss cat trees for humans, non-analytical storytelling, AI Dungeon, whether programmers are worse than they used to be, sonder, what inanimate objects get a proper name, and fruity cheezma.

  • More Real Than Tower Records

    February 3rd, 2020  |  1 hr 8 mins
    avery, tyriq

    Lords this week: Tyriq and Avery. We discuss reading non-religious texts as scripture, what "pitched battle" secretly means, practical usage of carrier pigeons, what ship is the best ship, doing a thing in one way or the other way, and ancient Greeks doing sports clothed and then deciding naked is better.

  • Dad Is A Cenobite

    January 27th, 2020  |  1 hr 5 mins
    april, danny

    Lords this week: April and Danny. We discuss teaching your child the wrong word for something, harbinger households, men's wallets, choosing a new name, the ubiquity of Shen Yun ads, and growing up an extremely unimaginative kid.

  • Kurt Cobain Vocaloid

    January 20th, 2020  |  1 hr 10 mins
    jp, strucci

    Lords this week: Shannon Strucci and JP LeBreton.

    We discuss monetizing hobbies vs. just having hobbies, inventing a 5 acre island in the remote south Pacific, level design lessons from Hawaii, the Oakland Athletics adopting "Movin' Like Bernie," fictions containing themselves as a gag, the first time you've tried your favorite foods, and Time Trap and creating mysteries from the outside in.

  • The Charisma And The Loneliness Of The Moth Man

    January 13th, 2020  |  58 mins 47 secs
    laura, nelson

    Lords this week: Laura Michet and Xalavier Nelson, Jr. We discuss Moth Man, surprisingly limited chair options, peeing a thimbleful while pregnant, the trustworthiness of dogs vs. cats, whether wild animals ever lead good, happy lives, and the pros and cons of various book bindings.

  • The Unfriendly Potty Tries To Put It Back

    January 6th, 2020  |  1 hr 10 mins
    jay, jenni

    Lords this week: Jenni and Jay. We discuss getting immersion in a language when you don't know any native speakers, scars that mean your mouth is too small, food when you're expecting different food, paying to pee on road trips in Germany, Thomas Dolby's early 90s online music service, and being ok with admitting when you don't know something.

  • The Entire Weirdness Of Plants

    December 30th, 2019  |  1 hr 2 mins
    erica, justin

    Lords this week: Erica and Justin. We discuss children being terrifying, the Frog Fractions 2 ARG and its holiday release, bringing interesting puzzles to people with boring jobs, what we were doing before vs. now, weird holiday foods, weird holiday birds, and incorrect plants in video games.

  • Ask The Propagated Cactus

    December 23rd, 2019  |  1 hr 2 mins
    alex, shannon

    Lords this week: Alex and Shannon. We discuss growing new people from cuttings, seeing images in your head, fruit cocktail and manufactured scarcity, the most famous meal of the day, the best smoothie ingredients, participating in religious ceremonies when you have no idea what you're doing, and shower curtain ideas.

  • I Hate This Gilded Boat

    December 16th, 2019  |  1 hr 6 mins
    gary, ryan

    Lords this week: Ryan Ike and Gary Butterfield. We discuss deciding when to quit a show you don't like, what if food screamed when you ate it, fetishizing creative tools, auteur-power fantasies, being useful post-apocalypse, and running in non-athletic settings.

  • I Love A Good Mind Poop

    December 9th, 2019  |  1 hr 6 mins
    april, ryan

    Lords this week: April Stormdancer and Ryan Ike. We discuss inventing secular rituals for children, self-improvement via D&D, the most fun key to jam in, the ramifications of outlawing moss, German robot-hell "Monster Kabinett," and "Dance Monkey," by The Tones and I.


    December 2nd, 2019  |  1 hr 7 mins
    chris, jenni

    Lords this week: Jenni and Chris. Topics discussed: other cultures' produce, the secret origin of the warp pipe, Jim's kid, Unreal Engine 0 a.k.a. ZZT, how creative work looks exactly like being a layabout, revenge food, and the "only" comma.

  • Very Hype About This Apple

    November 25th, 2019  |  1 hr 3 mins
    jp, styger

    Lords: JP and Styger. We discuss using the word "lord" as a joke, emergency preparedness, Cosmic Crisp: the apple with a launch date, whether horses exist, being an amateur naturalist from another part of the country, and what makes hotels scary.

  • Don't Freak Out, But I'm Arresting You

    November 18th, 2019  |  1 hr 21 mins
    avery, elena

    Lords this episode: Elena and Avery. We discuss pigeon throat milk, lexicalized emoji, changing your mind about a mattress, the ethical codes of singing cowboys, and dimensions in candy space.

  • The Screaming Man Simulator

    November 11th, 2019  |  51 mins 15 secs
    james, jay

    Lords this episode: Jay Tholen and James Hofmann. We discuss storytelling class, music that's so boring it's interesting, library and production music, designing pinball tables to be cheap to manufacture, and cosplaying Darth Vader in bed.

  • Conjure A False Gobot

    November 4th, 2019  |  1 hr 2 mins
    john, jp

    Lords this week: John Mystery and JP LeBreton. We discuss horses climbing stairs, getting enough sleep, shitpost movie advertising, doctoring the historical record, and ending all reality from within a dream.