160. Dracula Never Brushes His Teeth
November 14th, 2022
1 hr 5 mins 23 secs
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Lords:
- Elena
- Shannon
Topics:
- I went to Burning Man and now maybe I don't bite my nails?
- Pros and cons of vampirism
- Krista and Tatiana Hogan are conjoined at the brain. They share thoughts, senses and control of their bodies.
- "Gray cube, rectangular light"
Microtopics:
- Nominally saving everybody a big hassle but in fact completely failing to do the job.
- Checking the double secret server.
- Will Wood.
- Listening to music but not learning a lot.
- Biting your cuticles.
- The Burning Man dust/paste situation.
- Trying to get dust under your fingernails when you don't have fingernails.
- Getting rid of the textures on your face which just causes more textures to happen.
- A cuticle lab kit with fancy sticks and creams that you don't understand.
- Nail-buffing cubes.
- Losing some unpredictable aspect of your person at Burning Man.
- A man made up of all the aspects of personalities that he stole from Burning Man attendees.
- Leaving your nail biting behind in the temple.
- Cutting your nails short ever since you got that gardening gig.
- The weird traveling bruise you get when you hit your fingernail too hard.
- Every shovelful had so much danger in it.
- The perils of gardening barefoot.
- Wearing gloves but not wearing shoes because you like the mud between your toes.
- Dracula Daily.
- Starting a mailing list for someone else's diary.
- Couriers telling you that they delivered the boxes of soil and thanks for the shillings.
- Explaining what a vampire is after the vampire is already dead.
- Vampirism as a pyramid scheme.
- Leaving and returning to your soldered-closed coffin at will.
- God's meaner creatures.
- Vampirism as a recipe for seasonal affective disorder.
- What a bummer it'd be to discover that hell is real.
- Living a thousand subjective years and learning a bunch of skills.
- Getting up every night and finding a child to eat because that's all you have time for.
- Dracula the trainspotter.
- The Kirby dimension that his victims all go to and hang out together.
- Offering value to the world that compensates for the person you have to kill and eat every day.
- The guy in Dracula that is obsessed with technology and records his diary on wax cylinders but doesn't think to write the date on them.
- Doctor C-Word.
- The Blood of Manly Men.
- God Sends Us Men When We Want Them.
- Running out of manly blood but luckily a Texan shows up.
- Affixing small electric lights to your chest so that you can explore a basement.
- The spider that got so big that it was just a really big spider, you know, the really big spider everybody talks about.
- How our intuition for what makes a person can be thrown off completely by simple biology.
- Two brains that are slightly overlapped.
- A closed system that can answer questions about itself.
- Raising a child as if it is two people.
- Split-brain patients.
- Interpreting the two hemispheres of the brain as two individual people who are working in concert.
- The storytelling part of our brain that we call consciousness.
- Having control of three legs and an arm vs. three arms and a leg.
- Trying to relate your subjective experience to other people.
- What is the self?
- A dog that likes another dog but doesn't like a different dog.
- Cantilevered rainbows.
- Clarissa Explains it All.
- Clarissa Explains Indie Game Development.
- Processing events in your life by making games about them.
- Bringing out the special poetry lady to teach you poetry.
- Writing a book of poetry where the typesetter also has to be a poet.
- Writing a poem where you describe the scene from Fullmetal Alchemist where the two brothers burn down their house and your teacher is like "are you ok"
- Writing a poem from the perspective of the piece of paper you're holding up to protect yourself from the rain and your poetry circle is like "I'm so sorry about your sister"
- How to write a relatable poem.
- The extra fridge that holds the food that you don't ever actually eat.
- Who's got the tiger with the baseball bat?
- Fragments of different jagged shapes.
- Zero-Inbox Your Fridge.