A Very Wet Hell

00:00:00
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01:08:00

September 28th, 2020

1 hr 8 mins

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About this Episode

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Lords:

  • April is @aprilsaur on Twitter.
  • John remains a mystery.

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Seasons that aren't summer and states that aren't California.
  • John of the Commonwealth of Virginia Johns.
  • Calling yourself a Commonwealther but not knowing all the deep Commonwealth cuts.
  • Not having a city name because you're between cities and so calling yourself a "census designated place."
  • An experience that you had that is in the past.
  • Plugging a suspiciously expensive hat that players love.
  • Not being able to have hobbies because you just bought a house.
  • California, where it's sunny for hundreds of years and then suddenly a thunderstorm covers the entire state in tens of thousands of lightning strikes.
  • Not having to get your home repairs done before people visit because nobody can ever visit.
  • The good news is: podcasting.
  • Not having had a basement in decades.
  • Discovering that Virgina is a tiny piece of a giant land mass called North America.
  • Buying the Frog Fractions hat DLC for all your friends.
  • An extremely Californian form of hell.
  • Architects forgetting that climate exists after air conditioning is invented.
  • Fantasizing about winning the lottery when you never play the lottery.
  • The downside of climate control via architecture.
  • The feeling of tatami mats under your feet.
  • Realizing that having bugs in your floor sometimes is just the price you pay for having floor mats that bugs like to live in.
  • The tortilla mouse story.
  • Discovering that a mouse is living in your bag of tortillas and signing a contract with the mouse that it will just eat the tortillas and not destroy the rest of your house or breed.
  • Cats discovering extremely stale candy in the cabinet under the sink.
  • A squirrel spinning a corn tortilla like a steering wheel and eating it from the outside in.
  • A squirrel spinning a tortilla like a sign spinner.
  • Joining a D&D campaign late.
  • Knowing what your characters are about and creating situations where the characters have something to play against.
  • Making sure your players have stakes in the story being told.
  • A dope encounter on a luxury liner where you have to follow a bard with an anti-magic field.
  • A D&D campaign where all the players just hang out and eat Doritos.
  • Crafting a narrative by building outwards from a single dramatic moment.
  • Not knowing anything about the company you own half of.
  • The mystery of the Ultraviolet City.
  • Collaboratively inventing a story with your friends.
  • Having a beverage with you and being able to test a beverage hypothesis.
  • The sensation of a little bit of cool air passing over the various nerve endings in the inner mouth area.
  • Whether pooping is a social construct.
  • A two year old fixating on the color of Pepsi.
  • Tripping out on your own sensory experience.
  • Some real good honest mischief.
  • Taking a deeper breath so you can drink more.
  • Getting out the whiteboard to teach your infant son how to drink and belch.
  • A gentle sweet boy forcibly closing your laptop so you'll pay attention to him.
  • Perpetual stool, which also hangs around for 500 years.
  • Living for as long as you can keep the stew going.
  • Being caretaker for a stew that is 300 years older than you.
  • Making sure you eat all the meat out of your stew before it goes bad and spoils the rest of the stew.
  • Filling your house with the smell of fresh baked bread.
  • A bread recipe where you just put all the ingredients in a pan and then bake it.
  • A gradient of cheese.
  • Broccoli with horrible stinky cheese melted on top.
  • Jumping on any excuse to make an elaborate ridiculous meal.
  • Visiting your friends in Virginia but never talking to them because of COVID.
  • Going ballistic whenever you see a deer.
  • Making everyone sign an NDA before they can listen to this episode of your podcast.
  • Some sort of palace of food.
  • Two grocery bags being filled before you even realize what's happening.
  • Stipulating that the burrito rant has occurred.
  • Differing vehicle registration laws in Virginia and California.
  • Running a bunch of stop signs because they don't write the word "stop" on the ground in Portland, they only have the red sign.
  • How to proceed with the ARG when you believe you've solved the mystery of John's identity.
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