84. Whirling Away Into The Unhearable


May 31st, 2021

1 hr 6 mins 40 secs

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  • Kitchen! The Musical.
  • Inviting the general public to write the musical that exists only in your head.
  • Introducing the guest who is bad at introducing himself.
  • Running a white-hat ARG on company servers to research and understand the employees you fired for running an ARG on company servers.
  • In praise of terrible games.
  • Procedurally-generated hidden object games.
  • Organizing your life in a video game when you can't organize shit in real life.
  • Where the Hidden Object Puzzle Adventure fan communities are congregating online.
  • Using the block button on the pile of dishes in the sink.
  • Asking the manliest gamers to play feminine-coded video games and discovering if they become less manly.
  • Ladies who want to wear big dresses to be fancy ballroom ladies.
  • Gamers who don't congregate online but instead enjoy video games by themselves.
  • Where the Russian developers who make games for American women congregate online.
  • Clicking on something to make it go away.
  • Improving humans by adding components vs. by replacing components.
  • The legality of inventing a new organism by adding or deleting genes.
  • The Modular Human.
  • Plants undergoing full genome duplication.
  • The Diploid Human.
  • Using your hundred tongues to speak a hundred languages at once.
  • The one line you remember from "Kitchen! The Musical"
  • Saying "excuse me" in a higher and higher pitched voice until you're only saying "excuse me" to dogs and bats.
  • Running an errand in Tucson and incidentally removing horrifying beetles from multiple strangers’ hair.
  • True bugs and untrue bugs.
  • True bugs, with piercing and sucking mouthparts.
  • A reimagining of the insect phylum that includes small dogs and especially annoying children.
  • Hissing cockroaches that repeat what they hear like a parrot, so when you walk through the forest all you hear is a chorus of raspy voices saying "agh, get it off of me!"
  • Brood X, scheduled for this summer!
  • Brood X: Brood In Space.
  • OS X: OS In Space.
  • Which is worse, piercing and sucking mouthparts or sawing and sucking mouthparts?
  • What color of flashing lights civilians are allowed to use.
  • Pretending to be police.
  • The invasive plant species that the Sabotage music video is trying to highlight.
  • Hypothetical potted plants in the background of Powerman 5000's When Worlds Collide.
  • Being sentenced to community service and filling your rap punk band's trailer with fresh vegetables.
  • Nick Cave throwing a chair.
  • A poolside interrogation to find out if someone has a waterproof phone before you push them into a pool.
  • A cloth dummy falling off of a bridge.
  • Whether that cloth dummy had a cloth family.
  • Whether 1970s porn stars styled themselves after 1970s cops, or vice versa.
  • Popeye the Sailor Moon.
  • Everybody at the party dressing up as sexy cops and handing the real police a beer when they show up at the door.
  • Accidentally bringing up sexy cops every time you're on the show.
  • Chill dudes in short ties.
  • Taking a picture of a tree out of your moving car and asking a botanist to identify a blurry mess.
  • A boss who thinks your name is Marcia.
  • Meeting somebody with overlapping energies.
  • Total freedom from all societal expectations.
  • Setting up a movie streaming service that only streams one movie to promote your new phone company.
  • Buying every copy you can find of your first movie.
  • Watching multiple sets of people trapped in the same reality where they play out the same dramas and say the same lines over and over.
  • The one time Shakespeare wrote a stage direction.
  • Every time Shakespeare has been adapted into a movie.
  • Who even likes Falstaff.
  • The Complete Works of Shakespeare, Abridged.
  • Re-subtitling your movie using lines from Shakespeare.
  • The origin of Klingons as Shakespeare characters.
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