94. We're All Pet Shop Boys Now


August 9th, 2021

54 mins 3 secs

Your Hosts

About this Episode

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!




  • What exactly qualifies a collection of songs as an album.
  • A solid Mastodon follow.
  • Filling an album with songs until the CD is full.
  • The ravens you pass on your walk every day.
  • The guy in the brown vest who never does anything.
  • CORVID-19.
  • A raven who is extremely surprised that you don't have any food.
  • The mask everyone has agreed to wear when it's time to go cruising for trouble with the crows.
  • Wielding a cream pie so if you accidentally hit someone you are guaranteed to do 0 damage.
  • The Mythbusters episode where they figure out how to drown someone with a pancake.
  • Whittling down your hit points until you stub your toe and die.
  • Hit points as a measure of your will to go on, so when someone hits you in the face with a pie it's a serious blow as you reconsider whether you're really cut out to be an adventurer.
  • Bonus spleen damage.
  • The half-dozen extra organs Space Marines have surgically grafted in for fighting. (But none for love.)
  • Hit points representing individual vertebrae so when a high level Final Fantasy character has 999 HP that means they're basically a giraffe now.
  • Secretly replacing the moon with a hologram of the moon.
  • Fantasy settings where the moon is destroyed and strewn across the sky like the rings of Saturn.
  • Whether it'd be less work to steal a moon of Mars or to retrieve Ceres to give our moon a nice sky companion.
  • Aspirations of both destroying or romancing the moon.
  • Accidentally pushing the supervillain button to destroy all cereal crops when you meant all cold cereals.
  • Why they call them Grape Nuts.
  • Back when it was a big deal that they baked these crackers using electric power.
  • A tool that is worse at what it does than your laptop but has the advantage that you can't go on Twitter.
  • Making 80s techno because you're not ready to make a twelve-tone Schoenberg piece.
  • Wanting to make fun jams but not knowing how to play any instruments.
  • A smooth sequencer workflow.
  • Different ways to make a song.
  • Getting a guitar so you can put guitar sounds in your music and then realizing that now you have to learn to play guitar.
  • Reasons you might want to leave notes out of a chord.
  • Leaving the bass notes out because the bass player is taking care of that.
  • Nine note scales and eleven note scales and everything in between.
  • Pushing the limits of your instrument beyond what it was intended for.
  • The lived experience of wanting cool synthesizers in the 90s vs. In the 20s.
  • Music equipment manufacturers realizing you could make a toy analog synthesizer and sell it for $200 and everyone would buy it because it's a cheap fun music toy.
  • Putting a cpu in a plastic box and there's your synthesizer and all that's left is to add some buttons.
  • Synth Lords.
  • Two shirtless young men sitting by a tree.
  • Whether conventionally attractive people can work in pet shops.
  • Back in the 80s before it was legally mandated that musicians be extremely attractive.
  • Tipping your silver hard hat and saying "milady."
  • Smash cut to a Pet Shop Boy standing in the doorway and the audience gasps.
  • How you would identify the Pet Shop Boys if not for the baseball caps saying "boy."
  • Pet Shop Boyd.
  • Return of the stripy shirts.
  • Pet Shop Yinz.
  • Two shirtless youths fighting in the ocean.
  • Trying to start a fight while outdoors by saying "Do you want to take this to the beach? We can't take it outside because we're already outside! The beach is the outside of the outside! After that it goes to space! Do you want to take this to space?"
  • Walking alone on the beach while your suitors wrestle in the ocean suggestively.
  • Horses getting loose on set while you're filming a music video and getting in every shot.
  • Error with an f.
Support Topic Lords