90. That's My Glass Petard!

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Lords:

• Jenni
  • jenni@jennipolodna.com
• Kole
  • https://duckfeed.tv/
  • https://twitter.com/koleross

Topics:

• Whether or not you should stop animals who are thieves.
• We're gonna reach a point where Americans know about Eurovision pretty soon, so prepare for that
• "CRL couldn't afford the movie license for their video game adaptation of Blade Runner, so they just licensed the soundtrack.
  • http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/blade-runner-1985/
• I Did It by Dave Matthews Band
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRXZkdEj7YI
  • Unedited (syncable) commentary: https://youtu.be/gN_7KtRoZWU
• Showing your kid the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon & him immediately adopting Sonic's attitudey idle animation
• Fixing every plot hole in media by writing a "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"-like work where minor characters directly address them.
• The "I won't eat the cheese" joke
  • Adventure 500: https://bluerenga.blog/tag/adventure-500/?order=ASC

Microtopics:

• An entire crowd of Jennis all expressing their preferences at once.
• Creative choices that make editing this show take even longer.
• Feeling some topics right now.
• Helping a seagull looter escape.
• Just assuming that the seagull didn't pay for that bag of chips.
• Sending a penguin to the market to buy fish.
• The Keystone Kops of stopping this bird from having a cheese sandwich.
• How nobody can get mad if you train your dog to steal from shops.
• An adorable seagull stealing somebody's insulin.
• Activating the motion-sensing doors to help a seagull steal the Hope Diamond.
• Encountering a seagull smoking a tiny crack pipe and deciding whether to post a video on social media or send it to rehab.
• How to monetize the rat trying to go up the down escalator.
• When you post a viral video of a rat trying to go up the down escalator and monetize it by replying with an ad for mail order brides but don't give the rat a cut off the income.
• Whether Americans know about Eurovision.
• Pretending the listeners don't know what Eurovision is and really lording it over them.
• Having to adjust for the altitude when you bake a souffle on your high horse.
• If every state in the USA got to perform one song at the Super Bowl halftime show.
• Mr. Lordy.
• Soccer except it's singing.
• Looking up what girding your loins means.
• Stocking up on batteries in advance of when Americans find out about Eurovision.
• Power-washed Cheetos.
• A bag of bad corn snacks impaled on both a pike and a spike.
• Cat Is How Much.
• The specific ways in which Wikidiff is broken.
• Retiring replidroids.
• Knife Hopper with Boy Ratty and Dick Reckard.
• An extremely composed and photogenic dumpster.
• Getting ready for some very uncomfortable mugging.
• Identifying wizards by their extremely shiny outfits.
• Why is this man so big?
• Smoke tentacles that are just trying to turn the TV on.
• How badly the red wizard needs food.
• Sugar Ray Charles playing guitar with one hand and holding champagne in the other.
• A dojo with sauna vibes.
• Dripping your dumpster water onto the hookah rip enjoyer.
• Dave-- that's what his fans call him: Dave.
• Dave Matthews's flying kick fizzling out because his bribe to the VFX artist wasn't big enough.
• Scaring the fish with your pec shimmy.
• Doing community service with the purple wizard who is now the orange wizard.
• Your two most attitudey friends getting married and having a kid.
• Deciding that Sonic the Hedgehog's "I'm waiting" idle animation from Sonic 1 is so central to the character that you decide you need to invent reasons for Sonic to be bored in every episode of the Sonic cartoon.
• Looking at your old yearbook photos and realizing that your smirk is the same as Sonic the Hedgehog's.
• Kids getting sucked into Sonic the Hedgehog's engorged monopupil younger and younger every year.
• The helicopter but it gets you lift.
• Mario's idle animation in Super Mario 64 where he just starts naming Italian foods.
• Whether someone at Nintendo of America heard Charles Martinet's Mario audition tape and thought "Martinet's an Italian name, right? That means it can't be racist!"
• The alternate reality where Charles Martinet does a cartoonish French accent to voice Nintendo's platformer mascot.
• Getting offended on behalf of the French.
• Whether we should give Shamus O'Leary a hard time for having a racist name.
• Shamus O'Leary finding the video on Instagram where you did a cartoon Irish accent in his store's bathroom and being like "is that our choking poster??"
• Hearing that Andy Dufresne makes a hole in a cell wall and assuming Shawshank Redemption is a sequel to Fantastic Voyage.
• Writing a short story about a friendly rat who explains how Marty McFly's parents didn't recognize him.
• Making it a life goal to transform every goof on IMDB into an "error made by character" by writing fan sequels on AO3.
• Explaining how Marty McFly's parents didn't recognize him by pointing out that it was actually a movie the whole time.
• The stage play of Super Mario Bros 2 where the audience just watches Mario snore for two hours while listening to jaunty ragtime.
• A joke striking you loudly enough that it's still ringing in your head twenty years later.
• Paris Syndrome.
• Jerusalem Syndrome.
• Planting a palm tree under the Eiffel Tower.
• Adventure 500.
• A game jam where you recreate a game you haven't played in years from memory.
• Lou's voice just being a bad Sylvester Stallone accent.
• Jenni probably appreciating your email unless it's a bad email.