305. Phlegmletting

Lords:

• Abby
  • https://www.thespaceuk.com/shows/2025/abby-denton-my-favorite-loser
• Sid
  • https://linktr.ee/beamsplashx

Topics:

• Reading about type 1 diabetes
• Saying vegetables instead of cussin'
  • https://jp.itch.io/mr-friendly
• Winston punched his tooth out
• If I Ran the Circus (excerpt)
• With the power of portable PS2 emulation, I can find out how many types of games I don't like anymore

Microtopics:

• My Favorite Loser.
• Mistakes we always keep in the show because it's more fun that way.
• How to plagiarize video using Da Vinci Resolve.
• A tool that automatically turns any Youtube video into a series of screenshots with captions.
• Your mom threatening to sell your copy of Sonic the Hedgehog when it's explicitly labeled "not for resale"
• Explaining to your mom that they're not video games, they're computer games, and she explains that video is from the Latin for "to see"
• Mom paying proper deference to your clever sass before grounding you.
• They're called RPGs, Mother!
• Reading just enough about diabetes to be unhelpful.
• Reading the diabetes owners manual.
• Your $200/month Glucagon habit.
• The Quick Start Guide to Diabetes, which explains that ideally you'd do such and such for your diabetic child but you probably don't have health insurance so, uh, good luck!
• WiFi 7 upgrading you to gay.
• Recreational glucose monitors.
• The new glucose tablets coming in metric and confusing everybody.
• That time Solid Snake went hypoglycemic while being tortured and bit down on his fake tooth to release the glucose capsule.
• We put sugar gel in you, Solid Snake! It's going to make you slightly loopy!
• An accountant who likes jogging.
• Nobody knows why women have a higher incidence of eating disorders. If only we could ask them
• They made a cure to diabetes 30 years ago, but you have to become the President of the United States to get it.
• If Diabetes is so good, why haven't they made a Diabetes 2?
• The Quick Start Guide to Diabetes explaining that people with diabetes can talk over you in a funny voice and you're not allowed to do anything about it.
• Fiddling with a bloodletting device in an antique store and accidentally letting nearly all of your blood.
• Phlegmletters.
• What part of the body hurts least to prick with a needle. (The balls.) (Of your feet.)
• Code switching halfway through explaining how you like to cuss.
• How to swear at someone using vegetables.
• What a load of parsnips!
• Brussels Sprouts patch notes.
• Brussels Sprouts: Belgium's Great Shame.
• Winnipeg Manitoba sprouts.
• Walking up to a stranger on the street and saying "Hey! It's a load of parsnips!" when they don't even know how you feel about parsnips.
• Veggie Tales: Christ Died for our Parsnips.
• Finding hilarious jokes in the text but your Bible studies group doesn't think they're very funny at all.
• Refusing to apologize about a joke because someone somewhere is going to get the joke.
• Why they still play old cartoons when they have Dragon Ball Z now.
• Trying to find the 90s show about a kid trapped in a sitcom neighborhood that a talking dog told Abby about.
• A video game where instead of having to shoot people, you talk to people.
• Mr. Friendly.
• Running errands for the demons.
• Demon acceptance.
• Can you believe Satan? What will they come up with next?
• Lucifer Twocifer: Bringer of the Deuce.
• Embarking on a multi-year project to have the coolest most clever minced oaths because you refuse to have basic minced oaths.
• Whether it's racist to call a safecracker a Yegg.
• The funniest joke you heard when you were eight.
• The hobo with excellent glycemic index who lives in your shed.
• Trying cat insulin and promising to report back if you die.
• Hyperdontia.
• Accidentally swallowing a tooth and growing a tooth tree in your tummy.
• Explaining to your kid who just swallowed a tooth that it's going to bite him on the butt on the way out.
• Inventing an increasingly elaborate series of fairies that cover everything that can happen to your child's teeth
• What kind of degree you need to become a tooth fairy.
• Going to the dentist to do a bunch of drugs and get punched in the face.
• The tooth fairy talking about switching careers.
• Paying for PDFs to print and put under your child's pillow when they lose a tooth.
• Trying to pay a mortgage on a tooth fairy's salary nowadays.
• What you're going to make Mr. Sneelock do.
• A hoodwink who can't wink good.
• If only we could talk to the LAPD.
• Looking up the IPA pronunciation of Truffula Trees.
• Anticipating the day you'll finally get to say "what it is"
• Reading The Lorax in a bad David Lynch impression.
• Over Forty Years of Trusted Quality at Nature's Bounty.
• Seeing yourself on video and realizing you've been on the autism spectrum the whole time.
• Knowing your friend only has one joke and telling a whole shaggy dog story to set up the one joke, as a gift.
• The zoomers that they have nowadays.
• Hello, this is my Asian man voice.
• Going around the circle and everybody doing their best Asian man voice, finishing with the guy you want cancelled the most.
• Spending $150 trying to connect your PlayStation 2 to a modern television.
• Exhorting people to read the jokes in your pinned tweets.
• Importing PS3 games – or not importing them, which is cheaper.
• All the things you could've done instead of shooting Shinzo Abe.
• Playing Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven and trying to change the control scene to be more like Sekiro, even though you hated Sekiro.
• Freaking out because you didn't have everything figured out by the time you're 24.
• Playing Bumpy Trot with your weeb girlfriend.