Look At An Octopus While You Shower

00:00:00
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00:51:14

June 29th, 2020

51 mins 14 secs

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About this Episode

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This is the show we recorded live at Duckfest 2020! http://duckfeed.tv/duckfest

Lords:

Topics:

  • Befriending ravens
  • What if part of the government apparatus was a PVP mobile game & billionaires willingly sent in tax dollars in exchange for units to pwn everyone else but the game was balanced so they only had a tiny edge?
  • Clone ethics: can you consent on behalf of your clone? What about a different person with the same name as you?
  • Larry asks: "Best ways to meet your own death as part of a puzzle or game"
  • My sister is doing her bathroom sea-monster themed; does anyone have unsolicited recommendations for sea monster bathroom amenities?
  • The badger story.
  • How do we survive from when we learn to climb on the furniture to when we get scared of climbing on the furniture?
  • The white-spotted clearwing

Microtopics:

  • Plugging an activity nobody but you can do.
  • Eating trash out of the dumpster and fighting over dead skunk carcasses.
  • Recognizing jerks and being rude to them.
  • Feeding tiny bento boxes to nearby ravens.
  • Mobbing random strangers to demand a tiny bento box.
  • The ravens constantly pooping on your shoulders but it's ok because it's just your work shirt.
  • Meeting your shitting on things quota.
  • Befriending Odin's ravens and becoming Odin.
  • Being the one who operates firearms in this relationship.
  • Replacing taxes with a mobile game targeted at Elon Musk.
  • Elon Musk being defeated at a PVP mobile game by a seven year old in a Tinkerbell outfit and deciding he doesn't like the game any more so the company forms a team whose only job is to lose to Elon Musk.
  • Creating a GoFundMe to pay your rent while you save the world.
  • Whether Jenni is the raven or the game designer in her relationship.
  • Sharing DNA implying shared consent.
  • Explaining parents.
  • How consent works with conjoined twins.
  • All three hosts having a different interpretation of the listener's question.
  • Puzzles created in the before-times where if you solve them you see the face of god and then die.
  • Cool ways to die in video games.
  • A game that is great for people who have a lot of free time and don't have a child.
  • Requesting ideas for sea monster themed bathroom decorations and getting answers six months after you finished remodeling you bathroom.
  • A plunger shaped like a tentacle where the plunging part is just a huge suction cup.
  • All of your failings as a wife being forgiven by your ability to use a firearm.
  • Not knowing how to safely use a gun so you just kick it down the hill.
  • Guarding the coast from sea monsters but not being allowed to talk about it.
  • A shower curtain shaped like an octopus so you can paint a negative space octopus out of water all over the bathroom.
  • Failing to plan your sister's bachelorette party and she's still waiting to get married eight years later.
  • A COVID-19 Zoom Bachelorette Party eight years in the making.
  • Having a Mukbang instead of a bachelorette party.
  • Whether or not a pirate is a sea monster.
  • Marrying an indie game developer for the money.
  • Messaging your future husband on OkCupid because he thinks about Arnold Schwarzenegger wiping his ass a lot.
  • Being a piler of things.
  • Owing your wife a game about trolls but first having to train your son to be a game artist.
  • Skipping a step and having your child draw directly on the fridge.
  • Being asked to do something about the badger bothering people on the beach and making a joke about the badger badgering people.
  • The consequences of your county's limited animal control budget.
  • A badger hiding underneath the bench in the changing room.
  • Catching a badger with a dog catching stick even though it's not a dog at all.
  • Having a badger at the end of a stick.
  • What they call closets in the park district.
  • Riding in the back of a pickup truck wrangling a badger between your legs.
  • Carrying around a rattlesnake from a picnic area by putting it in a garbage bag and the snake repeatedly biting through the bag with venom dripping through the holes.
  • Restraining a snake inside your esophagus until you're ready to release it.
  • Latin being way older than the girl scouts.
  • Moving a snake with a steam shovel.
  • Only moving snakes where if you accidentally slice them in half they become two snakes.
  • A toddler smashing a drinking glass on the kitchen floor and saying "mess!"
  • Your child's milestones coming with commensurate levels of danger.
  • Hitting the ground with 1/10ths of the force as your dad when you fall.
  • Talking only about animals on this episode and the animal expert heckling you from the Discord.
  • The glass-like quality of a White Spotted Clearwing becoming revealed against the dappled light of the forest understory.
  • Making sure your transparent wings don't reflect light by covering them with nanopillars.
  • The butterfly not getting a cut of your profits from the invention you based on its wing design.
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