36. Look At An Octopus While You Shower

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This is the show we recorded live at Duckfest 2020! http://duckfeed.tv/duckfest

Lords:

• Jenni is reachable at jenni@jennipolodna.com.
  • Chris is making cooking videos at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRsnCRAIi-VsRPPX4AtzVGQ/
• April is @aprilsaur on Twitter.

Topics:

• Befriending ravens
  • Just Say No. https://www.reddit.com/r/Ornithology/comments/29y31o/id_like_to_befriend_some_local_ravens_but_should/
• What if part of the government apparatus was a PVP mobile game & billionaires willingly sent in tax dollars in exchange for units to pwn everyone else but the game was balanced so they only had a tiny edge?
• Clone ethics: can you consent on behalf of your clone? What about a different person with the same name as you?
• Larry asks: "Best ways to meet your own death as part of a puzzle or game"
  • Carnivorous mushroom death at 0:58. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=58
• My sister is doing her bathroom sea-monster themed; does anyone have unsolicited recommendations for sea monster bathroom amenities?
• The badger story.
• How do we survive from when we learn to climb on the furniture to when we get scared of climbing on the furniture?
• The white-spotted clearwing
  • https://www.instagram.com/p/CBYeqqgAdrp/

Microtopics:

• Plugging an activity nobody but you can do.
• Eating trash out of the dumpster and fighting over dead skunk carcasses.
• Recognizing jerks and being rude to them.
• Feeding tiny bento boxes to nearby ravens.
• Mobbing random strangers to demand a tiny bento box.
• The ravens constantly pooping on your shoulders but it's ok because it's just your work shirt.
• Meeting your shitting on things quota.
• Befriending Odin's ravens and becoming Odin.
• Being the one who operates firearms in this relationship.
• Replacing taxes with a mobile game targeted at Elon Musk.
• Elon Musk being defeated at a PVP mobile game by a seven year old in a Tinkerbell outfit and deciding he doesn't like the game any more so the company forms a team whose only job is to lose to Elon Musk.
• Creating a GoFundMe to pay your rent while you save the world.
• Whether Jenni is the raven or the game designer in her relationship.
• Sharing DNA implying shared consent.
• Explaining parents.
• How consent works with conjoined twins.
• All three hosts having a different interpretation of the listener's question.
• Puzzles created in the before-times where if you solve them you see the face of god and then die.
• Cool ways to die in video games.
• A game that is great for people who have a lot of free time and don't have a child.
• Requesting ideas for sea monster themed bathroom decorations and getting answers six months after you finished remodeling you bathroom.
• A plunger shaped like a tentacle where the plunging part is just a huge suction cup.
• All of your failings as a wife being forgiven by your ability to use a firearm.
• Not knowing how to safely use a gun so you just kick it down the hill.
• Guarding the coast from sea monsters but not being allowed to talk about it.
• A shower curtain shaped like an octopus so you can paint a negative space octopus out of water all over the bathroom.
• Failing to plan your sister's bachelorette party and she's still waiting to get married eight years later.
• A COVID-19 Zoom Bachelorette Party eight years in the making.
• Having a Mukbang instead of a bachelorette party.
• Whether or not a pirate is a sea monster.
• Marrying an indie game developer for the money.
• Messaging your future husband on OkCupid because he thinks about Arnold Schwarzenegger wiping his ass a lot.
• Being a piler of things.
• Owing your wife a game about trolls but first having to train your son to be a game artist.
• Skipping a step and having your child draw directly on the fridge.
• Being asked to do something about the badger bothering people on the beach and making a joke about the badger badgering people.
• The consequences of your county's limited animal control budget.
• A badger hiding underneath the bench in the changing room.
• Catching a badger with a dog catching stick even though it's not a dog at all.
• Having a badger at the end of a stick.
• What they call closets in the park district.
• Riding in the back of a pickup truck wrangling a badger between your legs.
• Carrying around a rattlesnake from a picnic area by putting it in a garbage bag and the snake repeatedly biting through the bag with venom dripping through the holes.
• Restraining a snake inside your esophagus until you're ready to release it.
• Latin being way older than the girl scouts.
• Moving a snake with a steam shovel.
• Only moving snakes where if you accidentally slice them in half they become two snakes.
• A toddler smashing a drinking glass on the kitchen floor and saying "mess!"
• Your child's milestones coming with commensurate levels of danger.
• Hitting the ground with 1/10ths of the force as your dad when you fall.
• Talking only about animals on this episode and the animal expert heckling you from the Discord.
• The glass-like quality of a White Spotted Clearwing becoming revealed against the dappled light of the forest understory.
• Making sure your transparent wings don't reflect light by covering them with nanopillars.
• The butterfly not getting a cut of your profits from the invention you based on its wing design.