128. Intermittent Fasting Kirby


April 4th, 2022

1 hr 7 mins 37 secs

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  • Plugging every Xalavier Nelson game.
  • Standing in a three bean soup.
  • Everyone's favorite Fire Emblem hero, Spiky Ball Tree.
  • Sweetgum.
  • Producing liquid amber but not calling it liquid amber for trademark reasons.
  • Whether it's possible to have green wood.
  • A traumatic formative art school experience that you take out on trees for the rest of your life.
  • Ablative armor.
  • Spoilers for the first novel ever written.
  • Seeing Empire Strikes Back dozens of times in the theater while in the womb.
  • A spoiler policy that makes people hate you.
  • Getting consent to gaslight your girlfriend about movies she hasn't watched.
  • Picking a movie line to be the only joke you ever say.
  • The list of movies for which there is no statute of limitations on spoilers.
  • Using a pen knife to cut open your forearm to reveal the servomotors inside any time there's a lull in the conversation.
  • The SpoilOrbs.
  • Inventing the video game haptics to allow a game designer to kick you in the balls.
  • Kittencore Dark Souls.
  • Junji-ito's cat diary.
  • Clutter in movies.
  • Hiring excellent schlubby actors.
  • Back when it was notable and interesting that Linda Hamilton got fit for Terminator 2.
  • Getting an AI on the job.
  • Laura Panini.
  • Live coding skeletal animation.
  • Rotating around a creepy lady.
  • Asking if anyone's seen something but nobody has.
  • When you push the button on the monitor and it goes all wibbly wobbly for a second.
  • A list going there.
  • A word that you only know if you read a lot of G.K. Chesterson.
  • Little Kirbys that help you out in the event of a prolapse.
  • How nobody in the UK knows what "goober" or "wine gums" means.
  • Abseiling and rappelling.
  • Putting "kerbside" on a list of words that Americans don't know.
  • Polearms that were descended from boar hunting.
  • Asking a thousand Americans to say yes or no to every word in the dictionary.
  • The Katana Yakuza Thesis.
  • Reading poetry in a funny voice.
  • The kind of person who would end a poem with a semicolon.
  • Reciting a poem about a guy you met yesterday who told you most of the poem.
  • Hearing from a guy about a rotting stump of a conquest.
  • Writing a poem where you meet a guy who tells you about a song that used to be on his iPod that you can no longer download from mp3 dot com.
  • Yelling at a long dead poet about punctuation.
  • Poetry about not knowing something but it's unclear whether nobody knows the thing or if it's just the poet's personal ignorance.
  • Painting ancient Greek statues flesh-colored.
  • Percy Shelley the nonsense man.
  • Smash Mouth cancelling their concert at your county fair after they got famous.
  • How to pronounce "shewed"
  • What's wrong with looking upon me?
  • 23 And Me informing you that you have a mom.
  • The familial incest tab on 23 And Me.
  • Twins: There's Two Of Them.
  • Twins in the womb listening to the Empire Strikes Back soundtrack and elbowing each other.
  • A person who could exist and would be attractive.
  • Geocities turn of the century vibes.
  • The t-shirt that Jim's wife bought him.
  • How Futurama made the name "Hubert" cool but "Pubert" is still no good.
  • Having six kids and naming them all Pubert.
  • Naming an ice cream shop "Fucklers" because who can stop you? (The police.)
  • Fucklers: Sole Owner of my Name Ice-Creamery.
  • The holding company that owns every disused mascot.
  • The Hamm's Beer Bear.
  • Wordle speed run categories.
  • Mathematicians who debunk Minecraft speed runs.
  • Trying to invent fake commentary for a sport you know nothing about.
  • Yelling advice to recorded speed runs.
  • Watching everybody believe Wordle conspiracy theories.
  • Comparing notes about reality.
  • Preferring having friends over being right.
  • The absolute best time to get off of social media.
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