179. Get Bad

Lords:

• Alex
• Shannon

Topics:

• Reading music badly
• Minigame: guess the animal from bad old-timey descriptions
• How to pronounce "MacPaint"
• https://www.tumblr.com/destinationtoast/708530541060816896
• Airport teleportation

Microtopics:

• Games that you should not play if you get addicted to games.
• Roguelikes that take a reasonable amount of time to play if you are bad at them.
• We're Not That Bad!™
• The Sunnyvale Singers.
• Producing music with a piano.
• Two guards, one who can't read a book and the other one who can read a book aloud but doesn't know the language.
• Buttons corresponding to the doots.
• Given a starting note, figuring out what the next note is supposed to be.
• Not being able to sight sing but faking it by looking at the vertical distance between notes.
• Music direction reading "lower than you think" (but in Italian)
• Knowing the chord progressions to 10,000 pop songs.
• Ways to make music.
• Moving between shapes even without hearing them.
• Playing accompaniment to silent films.
• Improvising music differently each time.
• Pliny the Elder describing the camel leopard.
• An animal with the neck of a horse but the head of a camel.
• A bigness answering thereto.
• Enjoying the alligator too much.
• A curse on four legs, equally pernicious on land and river.
• Inflating the chameleon.
• Spontaneous generation.
• Horned ghosts catapulting themselves around.
• Hunting an elephant by tricking it into leaning on a tree that won't support it.
• Whether elephants have knees.
• Vultures gestating for three years and giving live birth.
• Vultures and condors reproducing without mating.
• Your good friend Ms. Paint.
• Naming your dog a Japanese-sounding name with no regard to Japanese phonotactics and then arguing with people who try to correct you.
• Baking a cake that is 80% vanilla extract.
• A poem in the options of a Tumblr poll.
• Starting from a point of trust but slowly starting to doubt yourself.
• Orpheus and Eurydice.
• A poignant way of putting the reader in the character's frame of mind.
• The value of Oregon Trail.
• Iterating the Orpheus and Eurydice prisoner's dilemma, where whether looking back is the right move is different every time.
• Choosing to buy a certain amount of supplies and watching that not work out for you and the character you named after your best friend in the media lab dies.
• Extremely short form interactive fiction.
• Making an important decision and never finding out if it was the right decision.
• Performing Sicilian Reasoning to finesse the outcome of this online cake ingredient poll.
• Making a perfect stairway in an online poll.
• Making a phone app to help people choose the best option in the cake ingredient poll.
• Instantly teleporting from your seat on the flight to the entrance to your destination airport.
• Teleporting from the TSA interrogation room to the entrance of the airport.
• Teleportation gravity wells.
• Establishing an international airport out of your home.
• Hoping the cops never figure out that you can only teleport to the entrance of an airport.
• Stuperpowers
• Gerrymandering your teleport destinations.
• An international airport that is 100 miles long and 1 centimeter wide.
• Asking a friend to convince you that a certain building is an international airport.
• Drinking a glass of water while standing on your head to convince yourself of what an airport is.
• Hiccups Gone Install.
• You Only Get Screamered Once.