87. Fraudl With An Umlaut


June 21st, 2021

52 mins 56 secs

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  • Being unable to describe time without using time words like "before" and "now" and "always"
  • The "media player with a scrub bar" model of space time.
  • Why time only moves forward and why we only perceive any instant of it at any given time.
  • Taking time away from spacetime and just having a frozen sculpture of an instant.
  • Michaelangelo's David being the most famous space-without-time.
  • Optical illusions as a lens into the sorts of perceptions and abilities that evolution deemed entirely unnecessary to our propagation as a species.
  • Spoilers for Arrival.
  • Whether it was physically possible for life on Earth to have developed the ability to perceive additional times and/or spaces.
  • Whether early humans transgressed somehow and their punishment was to wonder about everything all the goddamn time.
  • Whether or not we get to eat pizza after we die.
  • Being so annoyed by an optical illusion that you invent a machine to help you unsee it.
  • A non reproductive animal rolling a non-transitive die.
  • Mules vs. hinnies.
  • Mules being unable to reproduce because they're too unattractive to find a mate.
  • Putting lipstick on a cat's butt in order to measure what furniture the cat rubs its butt on, and the butt runs out of lipstick after two chairs.
  • Being too lazy to make a new line on the spreadsheet so you just append your new topic onto an existing topic.
  • Google alerting you to an imaginary 6.0 earthquake near Lake Tahoe.
  • Just sitting here waiting for the earthquake Google promised you.
  • Moving from New Jersey to California and discovering earthquakes.
  • Whether you should add 27 and 2.
  • The legal difference between a doll and a toy.
  • Having a fun time in the courtroom.
  • Getting your movie's rating changed by counting up the number of times female genitalia were mentioned.
  • Numinous dice.
  • A soundstage with a bench and a plant that are supposed to indicate that this scene takes place outside.
  • Referring to a scene transition as a wipe but everybody thinks you mean wiping your butt.
  • P-Low The Skillful Abbot.
  • Really enjoying your bad case of diarrhea.
  • Doing aerobics and chanting about having a bad case of diarrhea.
  • A classful of language learners each repping a different language on their shirts.
  • Different cultures discretizing the world differently.
  • A hypothetical culture that considers a "person" to include the hat they're wearing but not their left foot.
  • Whether the horseshoe is part of a horse.
  • Pointing at some clothes and saying "there's a person inside those clothes."
  • Pointing at a human head and saying "there's a person inside that skull."
  • Different places a person can exist within their corporeal body.
  • Feeling emotions in your gut because you have neurons in there.
  • Hanging out with dinosaurs and having to do brain surgery on their butts.
  • Finding out that your brain surgeon is a dinosaur and putting a post-it note on your butt saying "brain not in here."
  • Finding out that you are on the autism spectrum after you have your 10th concussion and aren't allowed to think hard for two years.
  • Wearing a bumper sticker on your forehead that says "How's my talking? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT"
  • Struggling to understand why someone would use words non-literally.
  • Feeling very refrigerator about this explanation of Cockney Rhyming Slang.
  • How to apply the principles of running a playtest to human conversation.
  • Wondering about the thing you've got rattling around in your skull.
  • Conversational strategies that only work when you're talking to other autistic people.
  • Going through life assuming everybody has had a bunch of concussions.
  • Putting on Frasier to take enough of your attention that you're not thinking about anything else, but also Frasier not being worth thinking about so you don't think about that either.
  • Whether you want this show's listeners friending you on Facebook.
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