Fela Cooties

00:00:00
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00:59:36

July 6th, 2020

59 mins 36 secs

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Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Adding even more Internet to your fake Internet.
  • Hearing someone pronounce their own name wrong in a YouTube video and shaking your fist at the screen.
  • Changing your name because you're just looking to make your way.
  • The multitude of four-letter B and K names in the demo scene.
  • Promoting your album because hopefully you'll finish it before this episode is out.
  • Dreaming your friend a horrible job history.
  • A pair of tongs with a sticker on them saying "Super Atheist."
  • The guy in the pharmacy whose only job is to not give people their prescription.
  • Getting your doctorate for free because you're dating a doctor.
  • Forgetting all about Peter Schmidt.
  • Buying chord pack after chord pack and eventually giving up and buying the ultra-rare G11/F# card from a collector.
  • An app that scans your Spotify play list and generates a list of constraints to write songs under.
  • A team of researchers writing the perfect song by surveying listeners about what elements of music that they like the most.
  • A team of researchers writing the worst possible song by surveying listeners about what elements of music that they hate the most.
  • A rap opera about life on the farm with a children's choir singing holiday and corporate jingles.
  • Breaking your jaw harp because your jaw is just too strong.
  • People hating different kinds of music in 2020 from what they hated in the 1990s.
  • The identity of the accordion player on the floppy disks Jim dropped as he was arrested by time travelers.
  • Round Robin Key Clicks From A Skype Call.
  • Waiting for CD-ROMs in the 90s being faster than modern web pages.
  • Clicking on Miles Davis' face and reading about Hard Bop.
  • A topic you are interested enough in to buy a CD-ROM about it.
  • Jobs paying well until investors realize they're money-losers.
  • One person's perspective on how all electronic music breaks down.
  • Information that is thorough and well-presented memetically dominating over information that is arguably more accurate but less accessible.
  • Finding a guide to obscure music genres and worrying that they might be magic spells.
  • Eating a bunch of weird bananas and deciding that all bananas basically taste the same.
  • Militant banana forums rallying the troops to take down Jim's boring banana opinions.
  • Recognizing differences between apple cultivars.
  • Growing up eating the Red Delicious because it's red and delicious.
  • Which apple cultivar Snow White ate.
  • The apple core as a social construct.
  • Why the Japanese don't like cheese when your toddler proves that it's super easy to develop a taste for cheese.
  • Seagulls eating rats now that humans are out of the way.
  • Whether or not the Ballz Directors Cut for 3DO OST is homophobic.
  • Analyzing the music theory behind the Ballz Directors Cut for 3DO OST.
  • Getting a band together and playing a song you all remember poorly and that's it, that's the album.
  • Having heard 20 seconds of a comedy song and not needing to listen to the remaining five minutes.
  • Trying to make fun of a clown.
  • Writing questions that generate techno samples in response.
  • All protocol and format technology decisions being made by 14 year olds.
  • Whether or not Chanson is a portmanteau of Chiptune Hanson.
  • The difference between Afrobeat and Afrobeats.
  • Not adding Shoegaze to Winamp until 2010.
  • A pre-Wikipedia attempt to invent the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
  • Making your web that is a sequel to your previous web site, so you give it the same name but add a 2.
  • Wikipedia except that instead of an editorial voice it has a poem about a pomegranate.
  • The most popular chord progressions staying about the same for the past 20 years.
  • Sliding an open chord up the neck and leaving the open strings where they are.
  • There probably being a music theory name for the musical trick you like to do.
  • Counting in binary while meditating because if you just count in decimal you'll lose track when you think of something else.
  • A classic web app where you submit a form and the server generates the HTML you will see in response.
  • Accidentally lording it over someone.
  • Having a fake thing you fool yourself into believing is important so you can procrastinate doing it and get the real work done.
  • How to abbreviate Murder Hornet Keeper into a demo scene handle.
  • Learning German from Wolfenstein 3D.
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