55. Burger Crimes


November 9th, 2020

1 hr 6 mins 43 secs

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About this Episode

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  • April is @aprilsaur on Twitter.
  • Freddie is @fwong on Twitter.


Micro topics:

  • Finally, a place for topics.
  • A podcast that is surprisingly not a BDSM podcast.
  • Being the best town for chili with spaghetti because nobody else bothered.
  • A very good part about a hamburger.
  • The potential utility of a hamburger.
  • Wanting each bite of a foodstuff to contain every ingredient.
  • The sleeping baby preventing you from going to Five Guys.
  • A very specific smell manufactured in New Jersey that does not trigger any kind of nostalgia at all.
  • Deciding to stop cooking your fries in beef tallow and needing to add a fake scent to get the old smell back.
  • A burger joint that is the love child of In-N-Out and Dairy Queen.
  • Rating hamburgers by their mouth hinge requirements.
  • The ideal order of ingredients in a hamburger stack.
  • Putting a tomato between the patty and the slice of cheese in a cheeseburger.
  • Burger crimes.
  • Becoming convinced that Democrats really ought to be armed.
  • Years of playing Call of Duty and Counterstrike training you for your role in the revolution.
  • Years of playing The Sims training you for your role in the revolution.
  • Whether George Washington was a gamer.
  • Playing Breath of the Wild long enough to see the cool opening vista and thinking "I definitely don't want to go to these mountains."
  • A very American Truck Simulator approach to playing an open world game.
  • Winching yourself out of the mud.
  • The experience of drawing a map in order to understand your surroundings.
  • Two weeks worth of photos of your TV.
  • Trying to distinguish whether a childhood feeling of a video game came from the game design or came from being a child.
  • Designing puzzles that demand the player take physical notes.
  • The fun of inconvenience.
  • Playing D&D and catching the cartography bug.
  • Capturing the joy of a blank piece of paper.
  • A game about paperwork.
  • The video game expanding beyond the executable file you run.
  • Gambling with the game's demo to change the full game's price.
  • What it would take to stream Breath of the Wild.
  • Tiny little leaf people hiding all over the world each hovering with a tiny leaf they spin like a helicopter blade.
  • Hestu's incredible maraca dance.
  • Tattooing the entire DK Rap across your back.
  • An attractive person remaining attractive even when wearing a goofy outfit.
  • Staying home to take care of your kid and not sending them to daycare during a pandemic.
  • Changing your sleep schedule from waking up at 11am to waking up at 7am.
  • Vitamin D: turns out we need it.
  • Being unable to sleep in even though you used to be a sleeping in champion.
  • Being tired because it's the end of the day.
  • Making dinner and becoming a puddle on whatever surface you happen to land on.
  • Going camping because you have a kid when you would never care enough to go camping if it was just you.
  • Downloading Youtube tutorials on how to split a log so you can impress your kid when you go camping.
  • Using digital puppetry to make an anime avatar play video games on Twitch.
  • Cranking out content 24/7.
  • Livestreamers taking a vacation and losing 20% of their viewers.
  • The Tupac hologram except playing Fortnite on Twitch.
  • Producing a CG animation TV show where all the animation is live puppeteering.
  • Exhuming Tupac so you can do a body scan for the hologram concert tour.
  • Indiana Jones except with a really tiny head.
  • The career prospects of Indiana Jones themed strippers.
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