55. Burger Crimes

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

• April is @aprilsaur on Twitter.
• Freddie is @fwong on Twitter.

Topics:

• Burger opinions
• Revisiting Breath of the Wild
• Taking care of a kid for 8 hours a day is making me doubt my chronotype
• Dennis asks: "Vtubers"
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_YouTuber

Micro topics:

• Finally, a place for topics.
• A podcast that is surprisingly not a BDSM podcast.
• Being the best town for chili with spaghetti because nobody else bothered.
• A very good part about a hamburger.
• The potential utility of a hamburger.
• Wanting each bite of a foodstuff to contain every ingredient.
• The sleeping baby preventing you from going to Five Guys.
• A very specific smell manufactured in New Jersey that does not trigger any kind of nostalgia at all.
• Deciding to stop cooking your fries in beef tallow and needing to add a fake scent to get the old smell back.
• A burger joint that is the love child of In-N-Out and Dairy Queen.
• Rating hamburgers by their mouth hinge requirements.
• The ideal order of ingredients in a hamburger stack.
• Putting a tomato between the patty and the slice of cheese in a cheeseburger.
• Burger crimes.
• Becoming convinced that Democrats really ought to be armed.
• Years of playing Call of Duty and Counterstrike training you for your role in the revolution.
• Years of playing The Sims training you for your role in the revolution.
• Whether George Washington was a gamer.
• Playing Breath of the Wild long enough to see the cool opening vista and thinking "I definitely don't want to go to these mountains."
• A very American Truck Simulator approach to playing an open world game.
• Winching yourself out of the mud.
• The experience of drawing a map in order to understand your surroundings.
• Two weeks worth of photos of your TV.
• Trying to distinguish whether a childhood feeling of a video game came from the game design or came from being a child.
• Designing puzzles that demand the player take physical notes.
• The fun of inconvenience.
• Playing D&D and catching the cartography bug.
• Capturing the joy of a blank piece of paper.
• A game about paperwork.
• The video game expanding beyond the executable file you run.
• Gambling with the game's demo to change the full game's price.
• What it would take to stream Breath of the Wild.
• Tiny little leaf people hiding all over the world each hovering with a tiny leaf they spin like a helicopter blade.
• Hestu's incredible maraca dance.
• Tattooing the entire DK Rap across your back.
• An attractive person remaining attractive even when wearing a goofy outfit.
• Staying home to take care of your kid and not sending them to daycare during a pandemic.
• Changing your sleep schedule from waking up at 11am to waking up at 7am.
• Vitamin D: turns out we need it.
• Being unable to sleep in even though you used to be a sleeping in champion.
• Being tired because it's the end of the day.
• Making dinner and becoming a puddle on whatever surface you happen to land on.
• Going camping because you have a kid when you would never care enough to go camping if it was just you.
• Downloading Youtube tutorials on how to split a log so you can impress your kid when you go camping.
• Using digital puppetry to make an anime avatar play video games on Twitch.
• Cranking out content 24/7.
• Livestreamers taking a vacation and losing 20% of their viewers.
• The Tupac hologram except playing Fortnite on Twitch.
• Producing a CG animation TV show where all the animation is live puppeteering.
• Exhuming Tupac so you can do a body scan for the hologram concert tour.
• Indiana Jones except with a really tiny head.
• The career prospects of Indiana Jones themed strippers.