212. Back In My Day, Kids Actually Crossied The Road


November 13th, 2023

1 hr 10 mins 50 secs

Your Hosts

About this Episode




  • Your names.
  • Jokes that have or have not been done.
  • The real Jim Stormdancer. (On my birth certificate.)
  • A game which has no sequels.
  • Pizza Panda dot Pizza.
  • Cultivating an audience who loves clicking links.
  • A polling feature that is great for polling people.
  • Why not use one thing? Just have one place where you post everything.
  • How to make your audience stop clicking links.
  • 358 games that might or might not be Super Mario games.
  • A game called Super Mario Bros. Something.
  • All the different years there hasn't been a new Super Mario game since.
  • A controversy, but not one people care about.
  • New guy just dropped: guy who gets in arguments about whether New Super Mario Bros. 2 is a mainline Super Mario game.
  • Super Mario Bros. and Friends: When I Grow Up.
  • Super Mario and his friends discussing what career paths they might take.
  • Looking at all these MS-DOS colors.
  • Brian A. Rice, Inc.: it's just a guy!
  • Mario games for MS-DOS.
  • A Mario fan theory that has been disproven extremely recently.
  • Princess Peach and Princess Daisy having a conversation about something other than a man.
  • The description of Daisy in Smash Ultimate trying to come up with convincing reasons why Peach and Daisy are different people.
  • New Super Mario Bros. Mii.
  • Super Mariologists studying Super Mariology.
  • Super Mario Bros. Special.
  • A smeary snapshot of your mind.
  • A Mario game that was extremely expensive to make.
  • Working on a game until it's ready.
  • If you like Mario games, then it's one of them. If you don't then it's not.
  • Super Mario Bros. Tudor.
  • Super Mario Bros. Oneder.
  • Getting email for dogs at emailfordogs.com.
  • A hobby you used to be able to have.
  • Enough people making up fake emails for their dogs that some them send email to your fake dog email domain name.
  • Rip the old spacejam.com.
  • Space Jam: a New Legacy.
  • Reusing apacejam.com to capture all the people clicking on novelty domain names that redirect to spacejam.com.
  • A very small scale conspiracy, between one driver's test examiner and one child.
  • Being too flustered to deliberately fail your test.
  • A checkbox on the DMV test labeled "did not assassinate my arch rival, whom I now owe five dollars."
  • Back in my day kids actually Crossied the Road.
  • A smoke made with the fume of sighs.
  • A poem that scans as a poem.
  • A million monkeys using a million trackers.
  • One extremely busy monkey using a million trackers.
  • A new form of physical exercise.
  • Terraforming the hill to make your exercise routine more effective.
  • Copylefted exercise routines.
  • There are very few perfect things in life but this is the perfect exercise routine.
  • Dogs who are like dogs.
  • Dog theory.
  • What's more habitual than eating lunch?
  • Mathematical proof that all horses are the same color. (Except for the horse of a different color.)
  • Booger joke fart joke silly game.
  • A history of storytelling in the Wario Ware series.
  • Wario's hiring process.
  • A thing that happens after Wario puts a toilet on his head.
  • Why the latest Wario Ware game has microgames in it.
  • The Wario Ware employee who joined the company because he was such a big fan of previous games in the series.
  • Nintendo games that implicitly support unionization and fan-fiction.
  • The man who was too many Marios.
  • Hearing Wario speak in full sentences.
  • A thing that is nothing to write home about but writing home about it anyways.
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