182. Baby Baby Mario
April 17th, 2023
1 hr 2 mins 53 secs
About this Episode
- All the stuff we did in the 90s that is horrifying to modern parents now, like sleepovers and latchkey kids
- The movie for Jurassic Park 2 is somehow worse than the book and the book is very bad.
- The VR episode of Nowhere Man
- I fucked up my car by running over a mattress on purpose
- There was a space battle over Nuremberg in 1561 and the local broadsheets reported on it with woodcuts:
- Baby Mario and Baby Luigi being two different species.
- Riff and Jenni play Rusty Lake.
- Absorbing most of your twin in the womb and all that's left is his heart behind your nipple.
- Cool Time Dice Hour.
- Cragne Manor.
- Heck of a project, terrible game, not recommended at all.
- Cragne Manor's TV Tropes page.
- A Metafilter thread about sleepovers.
- Your mom asking for a report on all the swear words in the book you're reading.
- Elsa Screams at Dentist.
- Watching Elsa Screaming videos on Youtube to learn how to scream better.
- Going to the bookstore by yourself when your are 13 years old.
- Calling the anime repair guy when your anime goes out.
- New guy just dropped: guy with trench coat full of VHS tapes who won't hand you the VHS tapes, he makes you reach in and take them.
- Socializing your kids poorly so nobody will invite them to sleepovers.
- Learning how sex works and then calling a conference on the playground to explain it to everyone.
- Calvin's dad explaining that women only pee once a month.
- Picking up the broken glass that your meth dealer neighbor keeps throwing in your cactus garden.
- The tiny-handed thin-necked final girl.
- Abraham Lincoln's wrestling career.
- The one where they defeat the veloraptors with gymnastics.
- The one where they defeat the velociraptors by showing them Elsa Screaming videos on Youtube.
- Taking a bad book and adapting it into an even worse movie.
- Doing drugs until the dinosaurs look like they have feathers.
- Microscopic dust particles on the slicey bits.
- Why blowing into the cartridge did or didn't work
- Hunter-gatherers blowing on a blinking raspberry bush and cursing the defective lockout chip.
- Being unable to hunt bison because of bison DRM.
- A completely made-up kind of VR.
- Downloading your estranged wife from the internet so you can reunite in VR.
- A Rough Whimper of Insanity.
- Max Headroom: a guy with a weird forehead who shows up in media sometimes, like a California Raisin.
- Explaining Mac Tonight to a 22 year old.
- The worst car you could have possibly imagined.
- Delightful clean all-ages nonsense.
- Demonstrating your allegiance to 90s-era edgelordism.
- Cresting the event horizon of random bullshit.
- The VR apparatus hanging off of your wasted body.
- Adding more vanilla than the recipe calls for.
- Putting a hapenny on the spice vendor's tongue and reaching into his trench coat to pull out a bag of cumin.
- Poking bytes into memory to mod Cyberpunk 2077.
- Whether Pico-8 is more or less racist than Dickens Fair.
- The space battle that took place over Nuremberg in 1561.
- UFOs vs. UAPs.
- Tie-Fighters and Star Destroyers over Nuremberg.
- The All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office: if you got an anomaly, yo, they'll resolve it.
- Asking the Pentagon for money for a cab fare to go investigate unexplained aerial phenomena.
- A mass hysteria of the collective unconscious.
- Marrying your cousin and going into space.
- Anakin is of the species Baby Mario and Padme is a Baby Luigi so when they breed they'll have an infertile Baby Wario or Baby Waluigi.
- The fan theory where Jar-Jar is the Sith Lord.
- The origin of angels as a terror.
- Pre-hurricane ice crystal patterns.
- Making biblically accurate angels out of everything.
- Generational memory from back when we had wings.
- Fish wings.
- Being drunk all the time because you don't trust the water.
- Aspartame's bitter aftertaste, and also fuck Stevia.
- Coke Grownups.
- Pepsi Peeps.
- Eating the whole bag of Pepsi Syrup Peep Gushers and now you can't play D&D tonight because you just have to lie on the floor clutching your belly and complaining that nobody saved you from your life choices.
- Food that exists to overwhelm your senses and your ability to make decisions.
- The two genders of time.