182. Baby Baby Mario

Lords:

• Jenni
  • https://intfiction.org/t/lets-play-cragne-manor/56472
• Chris
  • https://trustory.fm/cool-time-dice-hour/

Topics:

• All the stuff we did in the 90s that is horrifying to modern parents now, like sleepovers and latchkey kids
• The movie for Jurassic Park 2 is somehow worse than the book and the book is very bad.
• The VR episode of Nowhere Man
• I fucked up my car by running over a mattress on purpose
  • https://vhsviscera.tumblr.com/post/705867030403973120
• There was a space battle over Nuremberg in 1561 and the local broadsheets reported on it with woodcuts:
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1561_celestial_phenomenon_over_Nuremberg
  • http://blog.zarfhome.com/2022/01/way-up-in-middle-of-air.html

Microtopics:

• Baby Mario and Baby Luigi being two different species.
• Riff and Jenni play Rusty Lake.
• Absorbing most of your twin in the womb and all that's left is his heart behind your nipple.
• Nippleheart.
• Cool Time Dice Hour.
• Cragne Manor.
• Heck of a project, terrible game, not recommended at all.
• Cragne Manor's TV Tropes page.
• A Metafilter thread about sleepovers.
• Your mom asking for a report on all the swear words in the book you're reading.
• Elsa Screams at Dentist.
• Watching Elsa Screaming videos on Youtube to learn how to scream better.
• Going to the bookstore by yourself when your are 13 years old.
• Calling the anime repair guy when your anime goes out.
• New guy just dropped: guy with trench coat full of VHS tapes who won't hand you the VHS tapes, he makes you reach in and take them.
• Socializing your kids poorly so nobody will invite them to sleepovers.
• Learning how sex works and then calling a conference on the playground to explain it to everyone.
• Calvin's dad explaining that women only pee once a month.
• Picking up the broken glass that your meth dealer neighbor keeps throwing in your cactus garden.
• The tiny-handed thin-necked final girl.
• Abraham Lincoln's wrestling career.
• The one where they defeat the veloraptors with gymnastics.
• The one where they defeat the velociraptors by showing them Elsa Screaming videos on Youtube.
• Taking a bad book and adapting it into an even worse movie.
• Doing drugs until the dinosaurs look like they have feathers.
• Microscopic dust particles on the slicey bits.
• Why blowing into the cartridge did or didn't work
• Hunter-gatherers blowing on a blinking raspberry bush and cursing the defective lockout chip.
• Being unable to hunt bison because of bison DRM.
• A completely made-up kind of VR.
• Downloading your estranged wife from the internet so you can reunite in VR.
• A Rough Whimper of Insanity.
• Max Headroom: a guy with a weird forehead who shows up in media sometimes, like a California Raisin.
• Explaining Mac Tonight to a 22 year old.
• The worst car you could have possibly imagined.
• Delightful clean all-ages nonsense.
• Demonstrating your allegiance to 90s-era edgelordism.
• Cresting the event horizon of random bullshit.
• The VR apparatus hanging off of your wasted body.
• Adding more vanilla than the recipe calls for.
• Putting a hapenny on the spice vendor's tongue and reaching into his trench coat to pull out a bag of cumin.
• Poking bytes into memory to mod Cyberpunk 2077.
• Whether Pico-8 is more or less racist than Dickens Fair.
• The space battle that took place over Nuremberg in 1561.
• UFOs vs. UAPs.
• Tie-Fighters and Star Destroyers over Nuremberg.
• The All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office: if you got an anomaly, yo, they'll resolve it.
• Asking the Pentagon for money for a cab fare to go investigate unexplained aerial phenomena.
• A mass hysteria of the collective unconscious.
• Marrying your cousin and going into space.
• Anakin is of the species Baby Mario and Padme is a Baby Luigi so when they breed they'll have an infertile Baby Wario or Baby Waluigi.
• The fan theory where Jar-Jar is the Sith Lord.
• The origin of angels as a terror.
• Pre-hurricane ice crystal patterns.
• Making biblically accurate angels out of everything.
• Generational memory from back when we had wings.
• Fish wings.
• Being drunk all the time because you don't trust the water.
• Aspartame's bitter aftertaste, and also fuck Stevia.
• Coke Grownups.
• Pepsi Peeps.
• Eating the whole bag of Pepsi Syrup Peep Gushers and now you can't play D&D tonight because you just have to lie on the floor clutching your belly and complaining that nobody saved you from your life choices.
• Food that exists to overwhelm your senses and your ability to make decisions.
• The two genders of time.