306. You Wouldn't Believe The Brutes They Make

Lords:

• Xalavier
  • https://store.steampowered.com/app/3139570/Coop_Kaiju_Horror_Cooking/
• Cort

Topics:

• What's the coolest instrument to give a child?
• What happened to sound lasers?
• Appearing Canes
  • https://www.amazon.com/Healifty-Retractable-Collapsible-Professional-Accessories/dp/B093G7J6JG
• The Story of Mel
  • http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/story-of-mel.html
  • https://melsloop.com/docs/the-story-of-mel/pages/mel-kaye-cv

Microtopics:

• Whether your middle name is really Danger.
• Half an extra plug.
• The inexplicable aliveness of Strange Scaffold.
• Co-op Casual Horror Cooking.
• Clive Barker's Hellraiser: Revival.
• Making a game so that you can voice act the main character.
• How many careers you're allowed to have before the world begins to rip them away from you.
• Hiring the designer of Frog Fractions when Frog Fractions is already designed.
• A boxing game featuring the inside of your mouth.
• Knockout Kings 2003 or Fight Night Round 3.
• Your dad explaining all the ways grownups are better than children while soundly trouncing you at Fight Night Round 3.
• Tattooing a message on your infant son's head so that he reads it when he begins to bald.
• Playing music with humans.
• What's special about playing an analog monosynth.
• Getting an analog synthesizer and finally sounding like the 70s.
• Your larynx thinking "I'm singing meat!" while you push air through it, making it vibrate.
• All the ways your larynx is confused about the nature of music.
• Sitting in a circle and playing music together.
• The Topanga Banjo and Fiddle Festival.
• Playing folk songs within ten minutes of owning a mandolin.
• How Irish sessions compare to Bluegrass sessions.
• Being too far back in the crowd to have sex with Neil Young.
• A big long guitar with only four strings.
• Bass Sherpa Hunter Bond.
• Practicing bass with your bass unplugged because plugging in your bass feels like an imposition.
• Short-scale basses.
• Finding the bass that makes it feel like you're holding Mjolnir.
• The Minibrute, Microbrute, Matrixbrute and Polybrute.
• The problematic acoustic P-bass.
• Travel amps and amp alternatives.
• The non-problematic acoustic P-bass.
• Oh yeah, that's the acoustic bass player!
• The only instrument in a rock band that can go up to. x6 multiplier.
• Coming back to Rock Band after learning the actual instrument.
• The Rock Band Pro Controller.
• What about Second Topic?
• Asking a parent if it's okay to give their child an accordion and backpedaling when they start white-knuckling their chair.
• Kung fu instructionals.
• The smallest member of the mandola family.
• Instruments that require elongation.
• Chapman sticks.
• The kind of musical instrument you can stab someone with.
• Vibrating your bones.
• That time science stopped itself from inventing something awful.
• Non lethal directed acoustic energy weapons.
• Sound cannons as an anti-piracy measure.
• SASERs.
• Using headphones as a microphone and vice versa.
• Plugging a bass into a guitar amp.
• Traveling to another country and trying out the basses that they have there.
• Whacking the high tension wires to make laser noises.
• What they have on BART now instead of high tension wire noises.
• Raising Cain's.
• Trying to reload your appearing cane.
• The type of thing the TSA would miss but should watch out for.
• Terrorists taking over the plane by doing such an impressive magic show that the passengers are like "that was amazing, we'd better do what he wants"
• It poked me straight in the middle of my eye.
• A sound laser for mischief and giggles.
• Fighting those who would be your comrades in shenanigans.
• Easy to operation!
• If you love something, let it go. If you hold onto it, it will stab you in the hand.
• A frog boiling effect but for extremely long poems.
• Computers made out of drums and vacuum tubes.
• Royal McBee Computer Corp.
• Executing another complete revolution to find the next instruction.
• If the thesis of Summoning Salt was that "this is what all gamers should be doing all the time."
• When you get old enough that most of the people you don't like are now dead.
• When you decide to hate somebody, taking comfort in the fact that one day they will die, or maybe you'll die, and either way you won't have to deal with them any more.
• Taking comfort that Mel is out there writing in direct hexadecimal for all us sinners.
• Jobs you wish you'd had in the past but that you wouldn't take today.
• The honor in choosing not to be famous.
• Our first pangram rhyme scheme.
• Version control plugins that scan commits for variable names that scan to the Ninja Turtles theme.
• Winston on the Microbrute.