322. Tony Hawk's Skateboarding Without Dying

Lords:

• Maxx
• Michael

Topics:

• Reinventing pants
• Plortonomics (the economy in the game Slime Rancher)
• The Leaning American
• Maggie and Milly and Molly and May, by E. E. Cummings
  • https://poets.org/poem/maggie-and-milly-and-molly-and-may

Microtopics:

• Rabbits and writing.
• Buying the lede (but thankfully the rabbits dug it up)
• Lord Veterans
• Ancillary Justice, or The Imperial Radch.
• Rabbits who want nothing more than to chew louder than you talk.
• Leaving space for the elephant in the room
• Inventing a new kind of pants inspired by taiko drumming.
• After years, finally trying out your new idea for how to sew pants, and realizing that the waist of the pants only reaches the crotch.
• Pants that are only made of rectangles.
• The slow process of realizing what pants are.
• Rapidly becoming pants.
• The universe doesn't end with a bang, but with a zip. (Of the pants.)
• Inventing a new kind of pants and looking them up online and realizing that they already exist and the name is extremely offensive.
• Pants that are just a square of cloth that you fold around your leg.
• A new kind of pants where the crotch is higher than the waist.
• Disassembling the kimono to hang it up to dry.
• Looking up the etymology of "pants" and it comes from an ancient word that means "the thing you can't just fold around your legs, you have to find a pattern on ravelry and sew it"
• Back when "pants" were just two leg tubes that you tied to your shirt.
• Clothespins: they turn tubes into clothes.
• How pants are different for fat people.
• Clean room pants reverse engineering.
• Asking a tailor who's never seen pants to make you pants based on a verbal description of a Taiko drummer you saw once.
• Making plorts after eating.
• Vacuuming up the plorts.
• Extremely ineffective insider trading.
• The kind of crime you only get caught at if people hate you.
• Gathering data on when people didn't file a malpractice suit.
• Doctor Parsley diagnosing you with sleep apnea based on the width of your neck.
• Suing a little mouse for malpractice because his tiny thimbleful of chamomile tea didn't cure your hepatitis A.
• Wholesome farming games where you go back to nature and practice aggressive capitalism.
• Throwing your slimes into the sea. (Which is maybe made of slimes.)
• The fantasy of running at high speed down a hill.
• The fantasy of skateboarding without dying.
• Incentivizing the player to discover new plorts.
• The fantasy of being on friendly terms with your neighbors.
• Comparing your favorite Animal Crossing villagers with your favorite Love Island cast members.
• The two competing Britain's Favorite Gardener.
• A reality show where you check in three times on people doing a project.
• What the rest of the world does instead of leaving.
• Learning how to stand – normally a thing only babies do.
• Leaning on an inclined surface made for a butt.
• Leaning less when you're visiting Japan.
• Crab Doctor.
• Reading a poem before it's too late.
• Narcissists soaking French.
• Tag yourself, I'm the horrible thing racing sideways while blowing bubbles.
• As small as a world and as large as alone.
• Wikipedia Dad.
• Gauging how long an answer to give a child asking a philosophical question.
• The Final Plug of Maxx Yamasaki.