368. The Intended Behaviors of Mother Spider

Lords:

• Ryan
  
• Kev

Topics:

• The art of Sashiko mending
  
• Should I Go Back to Monster Kabinett or Preserve the Magic?
  
• Michael Jackson's natural voice
  
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wigp_Mmwk8k
    
• The cashier at the gas station asks me where I'm from, by J. Sullivan
  
  • https://mltshp.com/p/1QKTB
    
• Either yogurt lids need to calm down or I do

Microtopics:

• Clockwork Maiden playtests.
  
• How to walk the line between making your game look like a PS1 game and not making the viewer's eyes bleed.
  
• Making the jump right from indie game development to aerospace.
  
• Telling the TSA agent that you work in aerospace.
  
• Continuing to make jokes that nobody enjoys but you.
  
• The Stephen King story about the pyrokinetic child competing on Double Dare.
  
• Whether the Lovely Bones are actually all that lovely.
  
• Committing yourself to believing that that's Ryan's real hair.
  
• Punk rock denim jackets getting ripped up in mosh pits.
  
• A thrilling risk of possibly stabbing yourself with a needle.
  
• Are Crustpunk and Wabisabi the same thing?
  
• Offend Your Friends.
  
• What kinds of fashion you can apply sashiko mending to.
  
• Watching a Youtube video about replacing a headlight and feeling like you can kick a revolving door down the street.
  
• The Return of Monsterkabinett.
  
• Robotic oddities with lips that almost get you.
  
• Mother finally vibrating out of the way with her knife-like feet.
  
• Mother jabbing a spear through a Zenith television.
  
• The foibles of the Cosmic Rube.
  
• The concierge sounding as bored as possible to convince you that the robot spider might actually lay eggs in your neck.
  
• How charming it is the first time a robot sneezes toilet paper in your face, vs. the second time
  
• Monsterkabinett & Schneider, GmbH.
  
• One out of 100 Monsterkabinett visitors being redirected to the burned down warehouse next door instead.
  
• A tuba saying Michael Jackson's lines.
  
• Michael Jackson referring to groupies as "fish."
  
• Michael Jackson's extremely weird unhealthy childhood.
  
• Believing your own hair.
  
• The Simpsons episode with Michael Jackson on it.
  
• Topic Lords: the ditch all your ADHD ideas roll into.
  
• The most accessible Xbox controller to give a giant robotic spider.
  
• Whether there's a rule saying a free-roaming robotic spider about the size of a smart car can't play basketball.
  
• The sequel to It where the clown monster gets a basketball scholarship and becomes an all-star in spider-clown form, making shot after shot from the half-court line using all eight legs.
  
• Trying to suggest game ideas to people for a game jam and they turn all out to be radioactive because everyone wants to do the singer-songwriter thing and write their own songs.
  
• Breakout except all the bricks are the Misery protagonist's bones.
  
• A stranger offering language that can be shared.
  
• Memorizing the list of sports teams so you can say "go Cornhuskers" or whatever when somebody says what city they're from.
  
• Yes, I will scooch aside to make room on the power line for you but don't talk to me about bird things.
  
• Accidentally starting a sports conversation and bluffing your way through it.
  
• Knowing three things about your local baseball team: 1. this one athlete has a huge ass, 2. everyone calls him big dumper, 3. he doesn't care for the name.
  
• Hot Dogs From Heaven.
  
• Hot dogs coming down from the sky on little parachutes.
  
• The Dog Disparity Gap.
  
• A helicopter upending a dumpster full of loose hot dogs, buns and condiments onto the sports enthusiasts below.
  
• Getting furious about yogurt packaging.
  
• Tracking down Linda S. to interrogate her about whether any yogurt can in good faith be called "the Beyonce of yogurts"
  
• Blacking out for a moment because you didn't realize yogurt was yeah.
  
• The morning ritual of cracking open your favorite brand of yogurt and getting furious about the pull quote on the inside of the lid.
  
• Staring at your lemon curd yogurt and thinking "this insists upon itself."
  
• Yogurt in bed.
  
• The Beyonce of Overwrought Breakfasts.
  
• Becoming someone else's Monsterkabinett story.