337. Mars, Technically

Lords:

• Chris
• Fabian
  • https://fgiesen.wordpress.com/

Topics:

• Oops, my 3D printer became a hobby
• GTA's AI is not trying to screw with you with its sudden lane changes and T-boning you at intersections, it's just oblivious. (Probably.)
  • Esper says: "I can confirm the traffic AI in Cyberpunk 2077 is still hilarious. I set my car to 'auto drive' and after maybe 30 seconds it took a hard right into the ocean. Maybe that’s lore accurate, who knows."
• Alberic Whale and the Enigma Layer
  • https://thespinoff.co.nz/the-best-of/31-12-2018/summer-reissue-the-mystery-of-zach-new-zealands-all-too-miraculous-medical-ai
  • https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/13-01-2020/rip-zach-probe-finds-serious-wrongdoing-over-miracle-medical-ai
• Between What I See and What I Say…, by Octavio Paz
  • https://www.wisdomportal.com/PoetryAnthology/OctavioPaz-Anthology.html

Microtopics:

• A coffee shop that exists here because of the port of Oakland.
• Popping unroasted coffee beans into your mouth like peanuts.
• The worst tasting and most caffeinated cup of coffee you've ever had.
• Your local library.
• Things that should not be businesses.
• Three possible purposes of universities.
• Finding a new hobby (derogatory)
• 3D printing a selection of action figures for your wedding.
• That one person you know who's really into 3D printers.
• Why having a broken 3D printer counts as a hobby where having a broken refrigerator is just a situation.
• Yanking out some gunk with pliers in hopes that that'll fix it.
• Your 3D printer breaking halfway through your wedding figurine project so you have to make the other other half out of milled aluminum.
• IBM Selectric Typewriters shipping with a repair guy who lives in your spare bedroom in case it breaks.
• Amazon sending an Amazon warrior to repair your 3D printer but since you only paid for the cheap extended warranty she's allowed to attack anybody including you.
• Whether Balatro is trying to deliberately find weaknesses in your build.
• Higher fidelity graphics coming with expectations of higher fidelity traffic modeling.
• Car AI in open world games being as dumb as the developers can get away with, except for in Cyberpunk 2077, where they're dumber than the developers can get away with.
• Whacking at it until it's good enough to ship.
• Traffic tuning in GTA Vice City.
• Playing games with really smart, effective AI, like Chessmaster 2000 and X-Com, and realizing that actually having really smart AI is no fun.
• Skating around with rollerblades on your elbows and knees.
• Everything's a tuna can.
• Three car accidents in six weeks.
• Conscientiously objecting to military service so they insist you get a driver's license instead.
• Driving through a haunted house to train the braking reflex in response to being startled.
• Whatever happened to ol' Alby Whale?
• The AI assistant named Zack turning out to just be a dude named Zack.
• Adorable tiny food delivery robots who turn out to just be remote controlled by a guy hiding around the corner.
• Waymo cars blocking major thoroughfares for hours at a time.
• Multitasking between all the most stressful, confusing driving situations.
• Self-driving cars (allegedly) turning self-driving off half a second before impact so the impact is blamed on the human operator.
• Several hundred tons of liquid nitrogen cooled supercomputer.
• Blaming your spelling errors on The Enigma Layer.
• Having seen more proof of your AI assistant than you have of god.
• It's scammers and hucksters all the way down.
• Whether DLSS is taking away game developer jobs.
• What happens when you go from a three word Markov model to a five word markov model.
• A giant prank with no particular end-game in sight.
• Acts of speech.
• Poetry as synesthesia.
• Trying to explain in words why that cat is acting weird when the cat doesn't think in words at all.
• My Psychosis, my Bicycle and I, by Fritz B. Simon.
• Trying to figure out how football works when you can't see the players, only the referee.
• Feeling some type of way.
• Trying to take musical ideas and apply them outside of the realm of music.
• Creating words that dance around concepts.
• Getting stuck forever in your cringe phase.
• Opportunities to write the same program over and over again.
• A melancholy linked list implementation.
• Passive-aggressive C code.
• Java Enterprise Abstract Singleton Proxy Factory Bean.
• Remember printed manuals?
• The international obfuscated C code contest.
• What made the 3D accelerated demo scene interesting again.
• How much code you can fit in 64k if you don't link to anything.
• Secret Topics.