115. Intrusive Thought Simulator


January 3rd, 2022

1 hr 19 mins 40 secs

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  • Learning something by doing, so you don't understand the theory behind it
  • The lonely realization that most people don't really care that much about the things that make you unique (not depressing) (I promise)
  • Shrek got a ten minute standing ovation at Cannes in 2001.
  • The Jabberwocky
  • Cursed connectors and adapters
  • Vacationing alone is extremely efficient
  • Seeking Mr. Eaten's Name


  • A name that has nothing to do with wrestling.
  • Upturned Table.
  • Topic hunger.
  • Hearing something and playing it back.
  • The particular rat-a-tat of that ratio.
  • The difficulty of making art compelling and simple at the same time.
  • In C.
  • A proc-gen song that is different every time you hear it but you have to pick just version to put on the record.
  • Meeting a group of people who all learned a skill in a certain context and being unable to convince them that you also have the skill but you learned it in a different context.
  • Not wanting to tell your family that you are trans because they would be very interested.
  • The dream of owning a board and card game store.
  • Trying to convince an extremely modest person to tell you something interesting about themselves.
  • Doing an interesting thing but not making a mental note to tell your friends about it because you never learned to tell stories.
  • A guy whose family fled a corrupt governmental regime being surprised that you think that's interesting, because he knows hundreds of people who lived under a corrupt governmental regime.
  • Discovering a viable competitor to Disney.
  • Devaluing the Cannes Standing Ovation.
  • The Sarcastic Standing Ovation.
  • Shepard Tones.
  • How many people you need to pay to stand and clap to extend a standing ovation indefinitely.
  • Being the one guy who is yelling at everyone to stop applauding.
  • Moving the last scene to after the credits roll so that people have to find out who the key grip is to see the whole story.
  • Reading a game credits list on MobyGames and giving a standing ovation at the end.
  • Vorpal, manxome, uffish, frabjous and other words that didn't exist at one point but now do.
  • Understanding the rhythm of language even if the words don't make sense.
  • Alice Liddel.
  • A faithful musical TV adaptation of the entire Alice in Wonderland series.
  • An adapter from pneumatic air to stereo XLR.
  • Speakers and microphones as adapters between air pressure and electrical signal.
  • Using a microphone as a speaker and a speaker as a microphone.
  • The downsides of USB-C.
  • A sticker with induction coils on it.
  • Counting the pins on a Famicom cartridge.
  • How you're supposed to blow into cartridges differently in the United States and in Japan.
  • Breathing into your NES cartridge to apply a layer of condensation to the pins and improve connectivity.
  • Dry vs. wet exhale.
  • Bagpipe to stereo XLR connectors.
  • A vacation where you go exactly where you want when you want and never need to form a consensus.
  • The kind of AAA vacation that a 4000 person team of Ubisoft employees would go on.
  • Spending most of your vacation listening to podcasts in your hotel room.
  • Going on a vacation in order to scout out potential locations for future vacations.
  • Walking into a book store and going to the zine section and downloading some bespoke local podcasts.
  • Asking the concierge at the hotel what podcasts are good to listen to around here, and they suggest This American Life and Radiolab.
  • A cloud of scenarios that you can choose to interact with.
  • Whether the Last Constable is really last or whether she's just called that.
  • Paying for a second candle.
  • Waking up in the middle of the night to spend the turns you've accumulated so they don't go to waste.
  • Sailing the Unterzee in a majestic pleasure yacht.
  • Dreaming about going north.
  • Breaking into a dentist's office to steak the jar of teeth from the cupboard in the back.
  • Building up your Obscurity to endgame levels.
  • Knowing that to solve the mystery you'll need to destroy yourself, and choosing to do it anyway.
  • Playing the game to get to the text that you're trying to read.
  • The grindiest content in the game.
  • Selling your soul to devils and then realizing that you need to get it back so you can destroy it yourself.
  • Hammering on the button until it tells you where to go.
  • Whether anyone knows the plot of World of Warcraft.
  • A great place to discuss topics with people who might become your friends.
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