315. I Can't Believe It's Butter

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November 3rd, 2025

1 hr 20 mins

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johnb kevin

About this Episode

Lords:

Topics:

  • Asking for help / Dealing with the slightest criticism/suggestions/etc
  • Roger Rabbit and Marvel vs. Capcom were big deals. How long until multiverse & crossover shit is exciting again?
  • Update on media that makes me feel things vs. media that doesn't
  • "Bell's Theorem"", a poem that I wrote, and then, at a poetry reading someone suggested the next poem and it demonstrated how good poets are pretty amazing and I am not a good poet
  • We're in a golden age of new official localizations and rereleases of old games (and why am I not playing them?!)

Microtopics:

  • Some guy on the internet.
  • Transparent aluminum ukuleles.
  • Hurting your fingers because your ukulele action is too high.
  • Do you still call them cowboy chords when you play them on a ukulele?
  • An astronomer making a series of Youtube videos about Jurassic Park.
  • The history of Mr. DNA.
  • How much kids in the early 90s loved Jamaicans.
  • Solving a 30 year old Internet mystery.
  • Suing Michael Crichton to make him put you in the Jurassic Park acknowledgements section.
  • The Ancient DNA Study Group.
  • Ian Malcolm just saying a bunch of lines from James Gleick's "Chaos."
  • Going into slow motion to show all the Victorian era pickpocketing.
  • Asking an august astronomer to critique your work and squirming as he critiques your work.
  • Therapy-style processing via Topic Lords.
  • People who like being asked for help because it gives them an opportunity to help.
  • The German word for being a person.
  • Being so overly polite that people feel obligated to reassure you that you don't need to be so polite, which is a big pain.
  • After someone helps you, asking for clarification on whether they wanted to help or if they felt obligated.
  • How to save Jim a lot of time and effort.
  • Two people coming from the same gross Internet soup. (Not 4chan)
  • The friends you made on the Pokey the Penguin mailing list.
  • Swearing to kids these days that the internet was good once.
  • Finding the exact right gif for your animated profile picture.
  • Pretend socialization: it's still socialization.
  • Knowing a guy by his Internet handle for decades and suddenly having to call him his birth name.
  • When crossovers started being a thing.
  • The Supreme Court ruling that corporations are people, saying the stage for the world depicted in Bio Freaks for the N64.
  • Daffy and Donald playing rival pianos.
  • Detective Munch's cameo in Fortnite.
  • Konami Wai Wai World.
  • Vib Ribbon n Astro Bot.
  • Why am I on this show when I could be playing Vib Ribbon?
  • Burning episodes of Topic Lords to CD-R so you can play them in Vib Ribbon.
  • Extremely pixelated vector art.
  • The save the cat moment on Topic Lords.
  • Mind-blowing crossover media events where the mind-blowing part is how much they paid all the lawyers to negotiate the deal.
  • Why the indie game scene hadn't produced a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen with public domain characters like Robin Hood, Santa Claus, Mickey Mouse and Abraham Lincoln.
  • Reagan-Gorbachev.
  • Which president was kidnapped by ninjas.
  • Choosing to let the ninjas keep Ronald Reagan.
  • Ape Out: Get Back In There!
  • Pushing the left stick to lean and pushing the triggers to lift either foot.
  • Trying to play a video game in which you dislike the protagonist.
  • A guy whose defining trait is that he tries to get out of every conversation as quickly as possible.
  • Playing with the mismatch between what the player wants and what the player character wants.
  • Upsetting the apple cart of how video games work.
  • A minimap that takes up the top fifth of the screen but is nonfunctional until you unlock it halfway through the game.
  • Which Jurassic Park video game is most interesting and which is most fun.
  • Looking down at your cleavage to see your health meter.
  • Saying the secret word and screaming real loud.
  • A poem based on a physics thing.
  • Forgetting your ex girlfriend's face, along with all the state capitals.
  • Time pointing an arrow at your back, and you walk.
  • The New Physicality of Long-Distance Love.
  • Sending a poet up on the spaceship to drain buckets from downtown.
  • A poem written sometime between 1936 and 1992.
  • Off-Topic Lords, a place for people who shout answers at podcasts in grocery stores.
  • A collection of Double Dragon and Kunio-kun games.
  • Kid Dracula.
  • Mother 3's copyright nightmare.
  • Mario Paint on the Switch 2.
  • Who was the Terry that Chris Houlihan replaced in Nintendo World Cup?
  • Satellaview games ported to the Switch.
  • Batman Loves Him a Parallelogram.
  • Joining the discord for the best PicoSteveMo experience.
  • KevinHainlineOnYoutube.com
  • Naming a distant galaxy after yourself and other astronomers mocking you mercilessly.
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