How To Travel With A Dishwasher Salmon

00:00:00
/
01:05:38

January 4th, 2021

1 hr 5 mins 38 secs

Your Hosts
Tags

About this Episode

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

  • Why the game Hades is great
  • People who get upset about the use of the word "literally" often say stuff like "you don't mean literally, you mean figuratively!", even though the use they're complaining about very obviously does not mean figuratively
  • Gasoline toast
  • Ville asks "Oxford University was founded 200 years before the Aztec Empire and the subway in London began operation during the American Civil War. Either someone's messing with the timeline or we all have a very askew picture of how history's supposed to be laid out."
  • The Game (the one Wikipedia helpfully disambiguates as "The Game (mind game)") is not very well designed
  • The Best Five Plants

Microtopics:

  • Writing your title in lowercase so that you know it's not part of your name.
  • Taking one look at a game and saying "this is a Chris game."
  • Hades.
  • A video game set in a Mike Mignola painting.
  • Game development legerdemain.
  • Pressing left trigger to pet Cerberus.
  • Voice acting in video games.
  • Needing to change a voice line and having to splice together existing lines because you're never going to see the actor again.
  • Needing to generalize a voice acted tutorial saying "press the A button" and just cutting out the word A.
  • Doing your best impression of the Afro Samurai and Samuel L Jackson angrily knocks at the door dressed as the Afro Samurai.
  • Knowing enough Greek mythology to appreciate these Greek mythology gags.
  • Describing your backstory to the bard.
  • Fishing minigames.
  • Getting the voice actor to learn Blender so you can finally pet the other two heads.
  • How people use "literally" these days.
  • How "really" used to mean "actually" and "very" meant "truly" but people started using them in hyperbole and now it's just an intensifier.
  • Sarcasm as a driver of linguistic change.
  • Covering food with gasoline and setting it on fire.
  • How the little plastic clip influences the bread's flavor.
  • Gasoline clams.
  • Covering a bagged loaf of bread in gasoline and setting it on fire and a loaf of perfect toast emerges.
  • Remembering that you were going to say something about the bag clip thing.
  • Making gasoline toast when gas prices were negative and getting your toast for free.
  • The Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group.
  • Going to a web site about bag clips and not seeing anything with a spring in it.
  • Soaking your fish in lye until it becomes a delicacy.
  • Dishwasher salmon.
  • How every dishwasher is at the perfect temperature to cook salmon.
  • Trying to cook salmon in your dishwasher because you're not a serious dude yet.
  • Cooking a salmon in dishwashers around the world.
  • Going on the internet and telling lies about salmon preparation.
  • Lutefisk, and specifically how somebody invented Lutefisk.
  • The gravest of apologies to anyone currently eating dishwasher salmon.
  • The third time Jim went to jail for an idea originating on this podcast.
  • Cleopatra's temporal proximity to Pizza Hut.
  • Time and pizza being flat circles.
  • A quote-shaped hole in this conversation that you have the chance to fill.
  • Whether a hole in the ground that a wheelbarrow goes through counts as a subway.
  • Impressing your Corgi with facts about London.
  • The Game (mind game)
  • A game you can't stop playing, according to the rules.
  • How to win The Game (mind game)
  • Whether it's a game if you can't choose not to play.
  • People explaining The Game to you over and over again in hopes that you'll become as angry as they are that you just lost the game.
  • The sort of thing that passed for cool in board games from before 1990.
  • Video games with hexagons in them.
  • Arguing about the best five of something.
  • The worst five forbs.
  • Coating the hillside with six inch hemispheres of itching hairs.
  • A forb that is always full of doves, which is bad somehow.
  • The Angry Video Game Nerd except it's a plant nerd being angry about plants.
  • The bottom five letters of the alphabet.
  • The sequel to lowercase b.
  • Taking the q out of queen so it's spelled ueen. (But still pronounced "queen.")
  • Updating the alphabet to get rid of c k s w and q.
  • British people always dropping the t even though they supposedly love it.
  • Revising English spelling so that every word is just spelled "a" but each word has a unique font size.
  • Registering google.com except instead of two os it's the "oo" ligature.
  • The origin of uppercase.
  • Explaining to the clerk at the DMV that your name is Chris except the C is illuminated.
Support Topic Lords