235. Ennui Golf


April 22nd, 2024

1 hr 3 mins 35 secs

Your Hosts

About this Episode


  • Jenni
  • Xalavier



  • Rusty Lake.
  • An intriguing, terrifying morsel.
  • Whether it's okay to lie on this show.
  • Life Eater.
  • The horror fantasy kidnapping sim space.
  • Shippers shipping games.
  • How do we ship this game without destroying people?
  • All of the horse except for the head and neck.
  • Cosmetic centaur organs.
  • Introducing yourself to the inside of a centaur and it's extremely squishy in there.
  • A single multifunctional cube that births a centaur and that's the original Xbox startup video.
  • Speaking a language that doesn't exist and every time you finish a sentence you hear church bells.
  • Would a defective centaur wear a hat like this or like this?
  • Centaurs always standing at their standing desks.
  • A centaur wearing a horse mask.
  • Playing Wii Golf with someone who remains sitting the entire time.
  • Getting off the Power Pad to long jump.
  • Sitting golf.
  • My Dinner with Andre the Giant.
  • The monster mash vs. monster bash.
  • Adapting the Ghostbusters theme song to other media.
  • Playing as the car and running people over.
  • Jail for cars.
  • Jelly beans that taste bad on purpose.
  • 80s films for children that are meant to turn them into weird bisexuals when they grow up.
  • Jeff Minter's Dune.
  • Barbarella the video game.
  • More things you can do with your Rock Band instruments.
  • Sticking even more games inside of Fortnite.
  • The lemur with the really big eyes.
  • Microorganisms that live in water and have the end of a comedy roast bone for a head.
  • Venomousness of hybrid mammals.
  • Grabbing your stress ball after learning that the duck billed platypus uses electroreception to track their prey, Xalavier Nelson, Jr.
  • Platypus patch notes.
  • Adding expansions to Classic World of Warcraft.
  • Gauging the temperature of the room when it comes to boomerangs.
  • Throwing a washing machine in a circle.
  • How you feel when the boomerang doesn't come back.
  • Objects that you see on TV.
  • Boomerangs that instant of being carved to return when you throw them, are carved to say "help, I'm trapped in a boomerang factory" in an Australian accent when the wind whistles through it.
  • A boomerang with a heart on it that you throw to find true love.
  • Boomerangs vs. Gen-Xerangs.
  • Getting lazy by the time you sharpen the 7th blade on your boomerang.
  • Disrupting marshmallows by making them kinda good.
  • Hiring a game studio to make a satisfying sequel to Katamari Damacy and then immediately suing them for fraud because making a satisfying sequel to Katamari Damacy is impossible.
  • Getting Australian concussions all weekend.
  • Naming your facial hair "are you ready for the next topics"
  • Hi guys call anyone knows how to buy guns and armor India?
  • Crossposting between r/TopicLords to r/IndianTeenagers.
  • Weeding out the cowards with Gregorian Chant.
  • Looking at Glover and immediately understanding his salient sexual verbs.
  • The distinction between mascot and main character.
  • Your Sonics, your Gexes and your Crashes Bandicoot.
  • Switching places with your therapist.
  • Non-saucy mascots.
  • Having to pick between being horny and being a sociopath because you can't be both.
  • Glover vs. Hamburger Helper vs. Thing.
  • Opening yourself to a deeper Freudian zeitgeist.
  • The mascot platformer you keep seeing roms of but have never downloaded.
  • Blinx 2: Masters of Time and Space.
  • Blinx dressing up as the lead singer of Power Man 5000.
  • Exactly the sort of podcast segment you want to commit to sight unseen.
  • Being willing to give up 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand to make a friend happy.
  • How much do you want that Golden Microphone?
  • The crucible of the soul you go through to record a podcast.
  • People in the future deciding what you would have made a podcast about if you were still alive and making that podcast.
  • The Xalavier Nelson, Jr. Experience.
  • The dream list of developers you ask to help finish your game in your will.
  • Locking Albert Einsten and Genghis Khan in a haunted house and they vote each other off the show back and forth forever.
  • A deeply safe field for job hunting.
  • The Ted Dabney Experience of finding out that Ted Dabney died twelve years ago.
  • Mrs. Columbo.
  • A movie named "This Movie Has Marky Mark In It."
  • A game called Beyonce Battle Royale that doesn't have Beyonce in it and it's not a battle royale. (It's a clicker.)
  • Beyonce: Oops All Mudkips.
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