308. A Xylophone For Jandek

Lords:

• John
• Avery
• Jay

Topics:

• Being known for one thing and trying to do a different thing
  • https://jtholen.bandcamp.com/album/new-active-object
• Finding instruments on the street
• Accidentally arguing with sauna guy

Microtopics:

• Many-Time Topic Lord John Mystery.
• Talking the plunge into the Topic Lords discord.
• An unspoken constant presence like Seymour Glass in the Glass Family novels.
• The Once and Future Musician.
• Putting a formant filter on your organ so you can play the organ on Zoom.
• Why pouring hot water sounds different from pouring cold water.
• The sound of boiling hot urine.
• The top rated coffee shop in San Francisco on Yelp for seven months in a row.
• Remaining your coffee shop after Mark Zuckerberg in hopes that he'll show up in person.
• Trying to open up a coffee shop in late 90s San Francisco and only realizing too late that it's 2016.
• ADA compliant seating.
• Four-person episodes of Topic Lords.
• A 6'5" guy trying to barter a half-used spray paint can for a cup of coffee.
• The Menacing Barterer.
• Aggressive Wimpy gladly paying you tomorrow for a hamburger today or else.
• Aggressive Wimpy throwing a shoe at your espresso machine.
• Your car accidentally becoming an art car.
• Letting people spray paint your car until it's nothing but spray paint.
• Calling 911 and explaining that the guy menacing you needs marijuana.
• Being detained by Mark Zuckerberg's private security force.
• Living near Mark Zuckerberg's house so you can do whatever your fixation with Mark Zuckerberg is.
• Aggressive Barter Guy trying to barter a Porsche for a cup of coffee.
• The $6 Porsche.
• Tholen or Tholen.
• A prog album constructed from Klik n Play samples.
• When someone who does I've things decides to do something else.
• The Mountain Goats novelizations.
• Leonard Cohen's terrible poetry.
• Thinking a song is deeply meaningful until you read the lyrics.
• New Active Object.
• Lunch Music.
• Doing a thing for a long time and getting good at it.
• Who has time to read a novel?
• Having Game Boys Advance but still reading books sometimes.
• Telling your teacher that you need to go to your job at NASA and they're like "oh you must be doing something important over there"
• Working in the waterslide industry.
• The Joy of Being the Secrets Guy.
• Reading too much into it is the next Frog Fractions game.
• Admitting to your wife that you found a digital piano on the curb.
• The digital piano in the background of the Frog Fractions 2 pitch video.
• Walking by a theremin at a party and it chirps at you like a proximity car alarm.
• The Moog Etherwave.
• Staring at your broken Omnichord.
• A toddler whose first word is "mandolin."
• Living Out Yonder.
• The Roland Space Echo.
• A cassette tape except there isn't any cassette, the tape is just kind of wriggling around in there.
• Buying synthesizers from thrift shops that don't know how to tell whether synthesizers are broken.
• The Two Organs Behind Me.
• Ukelins.
• Zither-esques.
• Dulcimers vs. hammered dulcimers.
• Looping your song and picking the notes that kind of sound like they belong.
• A Xylophone For Jandek.
• Feeling like you're taking to extremely accomplished people and you're just a weird little guy.
• Who Is Sauna Guy??
• Stuck debating sauna guy while the venerated author with similar interests to yours is holding court in the next room.
• Physics Philosophy guy talking about physics and philosophy.
• An hour into the conversation, telling Sauna Guy that you don't even like being warm and he just stares at you.
• The new way to joke about forum URLs.
• Back when the Internet was full of exciting possibilities.
• What topics turn you into Sauna Guy.
• David Byrne sitting alone at the David Byrne art exhibit in Palo Alto.
• We're All Sauna Guy Now.
• Voting each other off the podcast.
• Lightning round sudden death topics.
• When the sunscreen finally makes it onto your cornea.
• Not having a home page again but meaning to someday.