17. A Buzzsaw Made Of Bananas

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Lords:

• April is Jim's wife again and still a Beast Lord.
  • https://twitter.com/aprilsaur
  • https://www1.flightrising.com/lair/463464
• John is a Mystery.

Topics:

• 2:25 Create a D&D character right now
  • Drizzt the Drow. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drizzt_Do%27Urden
  • Moai eyes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moai#Eyes
• 12:51 Being friends with people who are more than ten years older/younger than you: not weird until suddenly it is?
  • Teaching English in Japan. https://www.internationalteflacademy.com/teach-english-in-japan
  • Nova. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nova_(eikaiwa)
• 24:31 Being in another country and seeing a person from your own country: is a head nod appropriate or not?
• 30:05 You can get Big Mike bananas from a specialty dealer in Miami
  • https://miamifruit.org/
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rambutan
• 43:04 Relational memory/mind palaces/file structures from long-retired computers
• 46:37 What's your preferred method for migrating your stuff from your old computer to your new computer?
• 56:43 Willow asks: "Methods for assembling great salads"

Microtopics:

• Refusing to be a Topic Lord because you're just on Topic Lords to promote your alternative podcast Beast Lords.
• Not having anyone to plug this time either but maybe you have a Soundcloud somewhere.
• Choosing all of your topics while driving to the zoo.
• Containing multitudes and being super excited.
• A band of adventurers being led by an operatic soprano.
• A party of all bards.
• Appropriating spam musubi because it's delicious.
• Not technically being part of a band of adventurers but you play a tambourine and own the van.
• Stealing the spam musubi from your bass player's bag of holding because they're going to go bad eventually.
• Keeping both gold coins and spam musubi in the same bag of holding and having to dig around for the money when you buy anything.
• Finally having a dog on this podcast.
• Putting your dead dog in every D&D party you're in for the rest of your life.
• Putting your dead dog in every platformer you make for the rest of your life.
• All your D&D adventures going wrong because you're just musicians and can't actually deal with monsters.
• Putting monsters onto the bus to the next town over.
• Putting a fishtank bubbler on your bag of holding so all the monsters in there can breathe.
• Fixing it then ruining it.
• Coming to your chosen profession late in your life.
• Age gaps getting less weird as time goes on.
• Thinking about watching new TV to be able to relate to young people and deciding nobody has that kind of time.
• Old people being full of stories from their lives.
• Not talking to your friend as much as you used to because she lives in Ohio now.
• Spending your retirement taking care of dogs.
• Responding to difficult situations with grace and tact.
• Stopping going to work because they stopped paying you.
• The English teacher bubble in Japan.
• Seeing the only other white person for a mile in any direction and wondering if you should nod at them.
• Seeing the only other white person for a mile in any direction and thinking "frickin Americans!"
• Not wanting to talk to strangers except in your favorite coffee shop.
• Telling your wife something a week ago and then finding out it's a myth and having to correct her on a podcast.
• Bananas being especially susceptible to disease.
• Replacing the Cavendish banana with an even shittier banana after it succumbs.
• Hiding your bananas because if your son sees them he won't be able to think about anything else.
• Giving your son bananas because he already poops enough.
• Foot-long avocados.
• A giant box of intimidating tropical fruit being the best Christmas gift.
• Drinking soursop juice tasting flights at a Mexican restaurant.
• Bananas that look like a buzzsaw made of bananas.
• Your infant son seeing a rambutan and realizing that maybe some things don't go in your mouth.
• Haunted fruit.
• Remembering trauma that happened when you were way too young to remember stuff.
• Visiting your dad in prison and he's wearing fake shoes.
• Riding in the back of a pickup truck and sharing Now & Laters with your older sister.
• The US government deciding that televising court trials is a terrible idea after televising the OJ Simpson trial.
• Knowing when a thing happened because you remember where it happened.
• Trying to construct a mind palace like Hannibal and Sherlock and after a day of hard work deciding you don't need to remember anything that badly.
• Yelling "story math!" when you correctly predict a story beat.
• Realizing at the end of the episode that he's been inside his mind palace the entire time.
• Copying your old hard drive onto the new one always working until one day you get an SSD drive and nothing fits.
• Paying Dropbox money to get more storage and Dropbox starting to spam you about features you don't care about.
• Only having a laptop to more effectively play your favorite web game.
• Most people not really having any use for a desktop PC any more.
• Having to remember life milestones differently because your life has settled down.
• Liking a salad that doesn't have any lettuce in it.
• Never having so badly wanted to go make a salad.
• Peeling cucumbers so you don't get Cucumber Gas.
• A hot cucumber.
• Flashing your King.com CEO badge to get into the food truck even.
• The burger joint offering you a salad with cheddar cheese crumbles on it and it turns out to just be a slice of cheddar they broke into a few pieces.
• Crisping cheddar cheese in the broiler and throwing away the rest of your meal because you've peaked.
• Trying to convince your wife that if you add mayo to a cheese plate it becomes a salad.
• Not understanding when the young folks talk about going to sleep.