366. OCD Knows No Logistics

October 26th, 2026

1 hr 8 mins 54 secs

Link with Timestamp

Download MP3 (63.3 MB)

Your Host

About this Episode

Lords:

Topics:

  • It'd be nice if while you were dying time extended and you got to play out all the vacations from your anxiety dreams where the whole dream was being anxious in the airport then you woke up
  • Discovering unwatched episodes of your comfort shows
  • What does the Consulate General of the People's Republic of China in San Francisco want with me?
  • The Purple Cow, by Gelett Burgess

Microtopics:

  • Guest booking strategies for J names.
  • People who live in LA who are always available to be on a talk show in a pinch.
  • Guesting on Late Night with Conan O'Brien to ask if anyone's seen your lost cat.
  • The 2025 revival of Chess the Musical.
  • Events that you should've gone to when they were happening.
  • Rap battles where they're just rapping chess moves at each other.
  • The song from Chess the Musical that Whitney Houston covered.
  • Slime Tutorials about all your favorite musicals.
  • 2010 European chess suits.
  • Remember when we ruined Slime Tutorials for everyone?
  • The spontaneous generation theory explaining why there's pink slime in your ice maker.
  • 3D-printing a pneumatic tube to go from your ice maker to your air fryer.
  • Marrying a guy who worries about stuff.
  • Reading about various OCD symptoms and coming away with lots of exciting things to obsess over.
  • Being afraid that something scary might happen and you'd be scared by it.
  • The They Might Be Giants song about Hitler standing right behind you.
  • Going to get your Mouseketools.
  • Goofy and Donald dying because you chose the wrong Mouseketool.
  • Prepping for PiCoSteveMo.
  • I put on clothes for this??
  • Almost buying Gerald's Game in Japanese before stopping yourself.
  • Dr. Zevia: it doesn't taste very much like regular Dr. Pepper.
  • I Enjoy a Fun Can.
  • Stevia: it's not artificial, it just tastes like shit! Fuck you! (tm)
  • Nobody gets a Dr. Pepper because they're feeling happy about things.
  • Travel Logistics Dreams.
  • The power to stop a topic mid-topic.
  • Having the bad moustache because you forgot your cute moustaches at home.
  • Putting the twins in their little container and they sleep the whole flight.
  • Playing the opening song from My Neighbor Totoro on loop.
  • Dying in Wisconsin and waking up in real life.
  • Tell me about your comfort shows and I'll tell you about my comfort shows.
  • Reading a cue card filled with amusing lies about yourself.
  • Putting on your headphones to manage your dopamine.
  • David Mitchell's poshest moments.
  • Watching Star Trek Voyager in the background while you do other things.
  • How to watch the mpreg episode of Bluey.
  • The episodes of Community and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia that They don't want you to see.
  • Trying to become the guy who's seen all of Seinfeld but you peter out after episode 2.
  • Spine Transfers vs. Spine Transplant.
  • Getting a Skateality by pushing Sub Zero's spine transfer button.
  • Pogo Grapple Murderers, Just Murderers and Just Murderers: Havana Nights.
  • Jim's game jam era.
  • Calling your husband from every Consulate in San Francisco.
  • Why now, brown cow?
  • Which of Jim's friends would think it was funny to prank call him from the Chinese Consulate.
  • Steve Stormfractions.
  • Handing out business cards with your phone number on them and then realizing that there's no way you're ever going to answer the phone.
  • A Memory and a Cadence.
  • Finishing a poem with finger guns.
  • Your boomer mom reading you a nonsensical poem and you're like "Wake up and smell the 90s, mom! Where's Clarissa to explain it all?"
  • The Goops licking their knives.
  • Whether Thomas Payne's political pamphlets were zines.
  • Fleeing from Boston to San Francisco.
  • San Francisco zine budgets getting out of control.
  • Is your cryptocurrency doing everything it needs to for your cloud computing?!
  • A billboard that makes you talk about the Metaverse on your Internet audio zine.
  • Car gone? Call Sargon!
  • Jesus died because porn wasn't good enough.
  • Go to your web zone! Put in the digits!
  • Telling Jim about the PiCoSteveMo game you're going to make so he'll invite you to the Topic Lords discord so you can be part of the PiCoSteveMo thread.
  • The numeric value measuring how much people like you and respect what you say.
Support Topic Lords